Page 100 of Fervency Love

“From Ivy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She didn’t want to tell me but finally relented. She threatened that if I fuck it up, she’ll do everything in her power to keep me away from you. She sounded pretty serious.”

It dawns on me that Ivy really did ask when I finish school on Fridays. I thought she wanted to come by.

“Don’t be mad at her.”

“I’m not.”

“And at me?”

“No. Not anymore,” I admit. All my anger evaporated when we kissed.

“Thank goodness.” He takes my hand and leads me to the bus stop.

The bus is so crowded, there’s not much air left to breathe. Ve keeps me close, dividing me from the rest and giving me some much-needed freedom. With my height, in crowds this thick I often get breathless. I’m grateful for his care for my well-being. It’s my Ve. He’s back, tender and caring. The question is: for how long? Until he feels it’s cool again and he can go back to his old habits? Or maybe he still can’t show his real self to his buddies. Maybe he thinks he’d come out as weak? How could Ve the bad boy suddenly fall in love? Wouldn’t that be considered a weakness? Yes, that makes sense. But am I strong enough to bear this burden? Why pretend this much?

I conclude that I’m also a pretender. I pretend to be confident and easygoing, while I most certainly am not. It’s so easy to hurt me. The fact is, I just don’t show it. But inside, I often come apart and it takes me weeks to recover. Maybe I don’t have the right to expect things from him. Maybe he’s dealing with the same stuff I am. I can’t ask him, though. He’d just deny it. There’s no chance he’d say I’m right.

Connor walks me home. We stand by the entrance to the building for a while longer, as if neither of us wants to part. That’s pretty much the case.

“Catch you later?” he asks haltingly.

“Yes. What would you like to do?”

“Will you be alone?”

“I don’t think so. My parents are going to be home this week.”

We agree to meet at six. He leans toward me and kisses me goodbye. My eyes linger on him for a couple of heartbeats, and then I go inside. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Our talk was cathartic. I never thought it would happen. But it has.

My parents rarely stay at home over the weekends. If they don’t go to Daisy Valley, they visit their friends or stay at my aunt’s place. Today they went to some kind of party. My brother went along. Surprisingly, Ve is on time.

“They’ll be back around nine,” I say as soon as he enters. “What do you want to do?”

“We can stay home, if you’d like.”

It’s a good idea, especially considering that the time we spent apart has made me really crazed for some closeness. I climb him and wrap my legs around his hips. My arms fly over his neck and I push my lips to his.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers.

“Me too, Ve. So much.”

We join in a passionate kiss, pulled to each other like magnets. His soft, warm tongue twists around mine. I feel wonderful. Ve’s hands skim my sensitive skin, so starved of touch. He slides them under my shirt, moves up, finds my breasts, unclasps the bra, and pulls the top off. His lips cover the nipple, then the other one. I can feel them growing and hardening under his caress. His fingers brush against them lightly, pinching softly. I’m getting wet. Ve senses this, unbuttons my jeans, and pulls at them. I straighten, wanting to make his task easier. He pulls the pants down quickly and rises. His hands land on my buttocks, clasp over them. He lifts me in the air. I’m so horny I fail to realize that we’ve moved to the bedroom. I’m on the bed now, kneeling with my arms stretched above my head, propped on my elbows. I feel him smack my ass, leaving a warm red print.

“You have a perfect ass. It’s so fucking amazing. I’ll fuck you in the other hole one day,” he says and I gasp.

“The… other hole? I don’t think I’d like that.”

He must sense my tenseness.

“Don’t worry about it now.”

“I’m not into that, Ve.”

“Let’s not talk about this now. We’ll return to it later, okay?”

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