Page 113 of Fervency Love

I tug at the strings and unwrap it. There’s a beautiful blue and beige sweater inside.

“It’s gorgeous. Thank you, Ve.” I fall into his arms.

“Try it on.”

I put the thing on. Static electricity makes my hair stand on end, sticking out in all directions.

“It’s perfect. You look beautiful.”

I smile and hug him. It’s so sweet.

We’re sitting on the bed, watching TV. A trailer for some comedy flick is on.

“Look, guys also shave down there,” he says.

“I heard. That’s why I want to watch the movie,” I reply without thinking.

“I’m not enough for you?!” he cries. Meanwhile, I slap myself in my head for broaching the subject. Here we go again.

“Ve, it’s not what I said. What does a film have to do with us?”

“You know, Abigail, it’s been weird with you lately. You tell me you want to be with me forever, but I think that’s not true. I think I’m not the one for you. I’m not enough.”

The words cut deeply. I can’t pull myself together.

“I don’t know what makes you feel that, Ve. Really. Maybe you misinterpret my intentions because of your own beliefs about yourself. I react like that too sometimes, but that has nothing to do with the truth.”

He looks at me for a while.

“Maybe you’re right.” He ends the conversation.

Maybe it’s because I have my doubts as to what’s really good for me. Maybe he’s sensing it? The bad energy. There has to be something to it, only is that even possible? But I never see him as not enough for me. On the contrary. Sometimes his behavior does push me away, though. In those moments, I subconsciously lock up, trying to protect myself from getting hurt.

Chapter 57

Abby

December comes too soon. We’re counting down the days until the New Year’s Eve party that we plan to organize at Ve’s house. His parents won’t be home. Neither will his siblings. It’s going to be awesome. Before that happens, we still have Christmas to get through. My parents are practically living in Daisy Valley by now, so I need to go there. I can’t imagine being so far away from Ve during the holidays. There’s no doubt they won’t let me stay at home, but maybe there’s a shadow of a chance that I could take him with me. I don’t know how to even begin talking about that.

“Abbs!” I hear Mom’s voice from the kitchen.

“Yes, Mom?”

“Come here for a moment,” she calls. “Dad and I spoke. Maybe you’d like to invite Connor for Christmas. You’d go with me and get back in time for New Year’s Eve.”

I am shocked. Is she reading my mind? My jaw drops on the floor. Is this a dream?

“You’d really like that?” I ask as soon as I can formulate the words.

“If you want, and if his parents are okay with that.”

“I’ll ask. That’s great news, thanks!”

Incredible. They finally noticed that our relationship is still blooming and that he’s my whole world. It’s a really sweet gesture on their part.

I’d like to get all matters at school sorted out before the end of the semester, so I don’t have to keep my head occupied with it in January. I’ve already passed most courses. The grades are just a formality at this point. I’m not top of the class, far from it, but I do care about the things I enjoy. The rest doesn’t count. I’m not interested in political bullshit, history, biology, chemistry, and physics, even though I major in that. The irony is that I’m an artist at heart. I’ve always been fascinated by films and photography. I love writing, music, PE, art, and psychology. There are no high schools specializing in that. I love analyzing people, observing their behaviors—they’re almost always at odds with what slumbers inside them. It’s fascinating. Anyway, I’ve always coped and won’t stop now. I’m a lot smarter than people give me credit for. I can get by even without the knowledge of various disciplines that don’t interest me. And those that do? I don’t have to make an effort with those. I love them, so I get results with ease.

I’m waiting for the bell during the last class. When it does sound, I slide my stuff from the desk to my backpack and rush out to meet Ve at the bus stop. Surprisingly, I see him by the building as soon as I’m out. He’s standing with his heel propped on a low wall. A beautiful smile brightens his handsome face. My heart starts racing. I can feel it in my throat!

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