Page 130 of Fervency Love

We take a turn and stroll for about an hour until we reach a beautiful clearing with a view of the entire city. We sit in the grass, and the sun gently warms our faces.

“It’s so nice,” I say.

“True.”

“Oh, Craig. I’m so glad you’re here.” The time we spend together is so simple. No arguments, no complaining.

“What’s going on, Abbs? Are you and Ve still together?”

I hesitate for a moment. Do I really want to share this with him? Talk about what’s between me and my beloved? I wouldn’t want to betray Ve by whining about him. But I tried talking to him, and it got me nowhere. He just doesn’t listen or see any issues. I need to get a second opinion. A man’s. And I trust Craig.

“Yes, we are, but it’s getting more complicated lately. I love him so much, but I sense he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I think he got bored with me. I keep catching him lying. It’s nothing serious, but it gets under my skin. Why won’t he just tell me straight? Why lie? I really don’t know what he does and what’s the truth. When we’re together, he comes up with reasons to argue. The fire is sputtering out.”

“You’ve been different lately. Absent. That’s why I asked.”

“You think he grew bored with me? He got what he wanted and just got over me? Now he’s in it only because he doesn’t know how to end it?”

“It’s hard to tell. But if that’s the case, he’s stupid. If I had a woman like you, I’d treasure you. It isn’t only me. There’s lots of guys who dream of being in his place. And they’d do a lot to get there.”

That takes me by surprise. I don’t know what to say to that.

“You really think so?” I ask incredulously. Since I’ve been with Ve, I completely stopped looking at other men. He became the world to me.

“I don’t think so. I know it. You’re intelligent, smart, beautiful, and you have the most incredible eyes. You could drown in them.”

Our stares meet. I notice something I have been unaware of. He has feelings for me. No, that’s impossible. Shit, I don’t want that. I like him too much!

“Craig, do you like me?”

“Yes. I had a crush on you since before we ended up in the same class,” he says with a disarming openness. My jaw drops.

“But… how is that possible?”

“I went to your school for a volleyball tournament. You played in one of the teams. You wore navy shorts and a white T-shirt. You had your hair tied in two braids. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. When it turned out we were classmates, I was so happy. Did you get my Valentine’s Day text?”

I did. It was very beautiful. I always wanted to know who wrote it. I can still remember what it said:

I have a dream or two, and both are about you. To sip the sweet nectar of life from your lips. To brave the storm, like twin sailing ships. To sleep and wake up in your loving arms. And die in peace, starved of your charms.

“That was from you?”

“Yes,” he replies, his cheeks growing red.

“I had no idea, Craig. So many years…”

“I knew you were in love. That you had someone. So, I let it go. It doesn’t change a thing between us. I know you love him. I respect that. I won’t come between you. I just wanted you to know there are men who… you know. Dream and wait. And he doesn’t appreciate what he has.”

“I don’t know what to say. I like you very much. You’re my friend, but…”

“I know, just a friend,” he finishes for me.

I don’t know what’s happening to me. Why do I suddenly feel like kissing him?

I can see it shocks him, but he returns the kiss. It’s weird. It’s not my Ve. There’s some emotion in it, but it’s not the same. Could I end up with someone else? Could I be with Craig? That would be a simple relationship, but do I need something like that now? A simple relationship? I don’t think so…

When we pull apart, I can see the effect it had on him. There’s a bulge in his pants, and his chest is heaving.

You’re losing it, girl,my subconscious whispers, bringing me back to earth.You’re having a hard time with Ve and you’re looking for someone to pick you up.I’m not! I’m looking for some attention. For someone who would care. I’m talking to my inner goddess, who now nods her head with disbelief.

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