Page 163 of Fervency Love

“Did you tell him you love him?”

“Not yet,” I reply, and I hear him exhale. I guess he held his breath the whole time. Damn, why is this important to him now? Where was he when I needed him? “But why do you care, anyway? You keep letting that blonde bitch fondle you all the time. It doesn’t seem to bother you, so what do you want from me?”

“I don’t know, I just want to know if it’s something serious.”

“I don’t have an answer to that question.”

I know that what’s between me and Larry will never be as deep and intense as what connected and still connects me to Ve. I can’t tell him that, of course.

Since our last conversation, I’ve been avoiding Ve as much as I can. I manage to do so for quite some time. Initially, this might seem unrealistic, considering that we work just a few stores apart. While taking a smoke break, I run into a guy who works with Ve. I got to know him when Ve and I were still together, and I liked him immediately. Patrick seems okay.

“Hey, Abbs.”

“Hey, Patrick, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, just a break.”

“How is he?” I ask hesitantly.

“He’s doing better, I guess. He’s seeing this girl. She’s been picking him up for the past few days.”

What the fuck?! That can’t be right. WTF?! Who is this girl? Where the fuck did she come from?!

“Uh, what? Where did he meet her?”

“We’ve been to a few parties; she’s an acquaintance of a friend. She’s really into Ve. The thing is, she lives in London. She’s trying to convince Ve to move there with her.”

I feel my heart momentarily stop. I need to sit down. I feel sick. I try not to let it show. Patrick seems not to notice, lost in thought about something.

“And Ve, what does he think about it?”

“You’d have to ask him, but from what I know, he’s considering it. I got to run, shorty.”

As soon as he disappears behind the door, I bend over. I can’t breathe.

I need to pull myself together. My break is almost over, but I’m still trying to calm down and catch my breath. I hear the sound of opening doors and wonder for a moment if Patrick forgot something. There’s nothing that could belong to him around. Ve’s silhouette appears from the direction Patrick went. I have nowhere to escape.

“Gail? Are you on a break?”

“Yeah, I’m just finishing.”

“Is everything okay?”

He jogs over to me, seeing my state. He knows me, knows what this means. For some reason, I can’t breathe. He supports me and leads me to a bench. As soon as his hands land on my skin, my pulse immediately quickens, and a current shoots through my entire body. All the wonderful moments flash through my mind. I feel nauseous and lean over to make breathing easier. I feel like I have to put an end to my suffering.

“Ve, are you dating someone?” I ask, looking at him, wanting to see his reaction.

“Why do you ask?”

“Don’t answer a question with a question.”

It’s always irritated me. Stalling to come up with an answer. He’s been doing it since I remember.

“Maybe.”

“Is it serious?”

“You know what, I don’t know if I want to talk about it. But if you must know, we met a while ago. She’s a friend of Vincent, the one I work with, the one you didn’t like.”

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