Page 18 of Fervency Love

I have no idea how we always know what the lesson is about despite talking to each other nonstop.

The classes pass quickly. I’m called to the board during math. I’m prepared, but I don’t like being called out. I hate speaking in front of audiences. If I could just write the answers down, I would have got an A. Instead, I get an F. My folks aren’t going to be happy. Well, no matter, I’ll have another shot.

I have this strange fear left over after primary school. Other kids used to bully me relentlessly whenever I was called to the blackboard. That’s when I got this paralyzing fear. Weird how one bad teacher can impact a kid’s psyche. Shocking. It should be punishable. It’s unprofessional to dump your personal problems on anyone else.

The last bell rings, which means classes are over. Nikki, Mandy, Catherine, and I go for a smoke. I don’t know why we smoke, to be honest. Probably it’s our way to blow off steam.

The eleven-eleven arrives. I hop on and immediately feel he’s there. Is it possible to feel someone’s energy? Nervously, I scan the crowd. My eyes stop, locking on that sky-blue stare of his.It’s him!I squeal in delight in my mind. He’s sitting at the back, looking straight at me.

“Hey, Abby,” he says, and my heart skips a beat. I feel my palms getting sweaty.

“Hey, Ve,” I reply.

I need to talk to Vicks. She must have told someone too much. Who’s side is she on? Hmm, but maybe he found out on his own when I would finish school. Is he that clever? No, I wouldn’t think so.

“Want to sit down?” he calls.

“You know each other?” Mandy asks, shocked.

“Oh, yeah, we were introduced a while ago.”

“Okay then, just go to him already. We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll take your bus, and you’ll tell me everything.” She winks at me.

Meanwhile, I’m considering if I’d like to go sit next to him. If I’m to be honest, I don’t think I do. He’s getting on my nerves. Making me do things. But, me being me, I can’t have someone think I’m not nice without a reason. Wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings after all. So, I decide to accept his invitation.

I turn around and head to the back of the bus. Nobody’s tried flirting with me for a while. It’s kind of nice. Besides, the way my body reacts to his… hmm… energy? It’s frustrating.

“Going back from school? Your classes end the same time mine do?” I ask.

“Seems so,” he says curtly. I think I caught him lying right now.

“How was your day?”

“Dragged on forever,” he drawls with a widening smile.

When the bus reaches our stop, Ve gets up and lets me through first. We walk so close and yet so far away from each other. I catch myself thinking I’d like to touch him. The discovery shocks and terrifies me. I don’t know what we’ve been talking about, but the walk felt too short. I’d like to spendsome more time with him. I think he’d like that too. I’m about to suggest he walks me home, but experience tells me to keep my mouth shut. A man is a conqueror. If I’m the one with the initiative, he’ll grow bored fast, and I think I wouldn’t like that. This acquaintance of ours is beginning to feel intriguing.

“That’s my turning,” he says.

“I’m going the other way.”

“See you around,” he says like he doesn’t care.

“See you, Ve.”

I can feel his eyes on my back as I leave. I turn my head, and our eyes meet. I wave at him and walk away. Damn, I don’t like where this is going. I don’t like it at all. Or maybe I like it too much, and that’s why I’m so afraid.

Chapter 11

Abby

Every day for the next few weeks, I see Ve. He accompanies me every morning on the way to school. In the beginning, it really pissed me off. I don’t like intrusive people. Add to that the fact that Vicks and Max, Ve’s friend, keep pestering me with questions about if I’d go out with the guy. Jesus, let him ask on his own! What? Doesn’t he have the balls? I’ve never been on a date. Or, maybe I did, but during primary school. Child’s play. Now it’s different. He’s older than me, and I wouldn’t like to be left alone with a guy I know next to nothing about. I could take Vicky with me. It’s a bit too awkward for my tastes. How do I hightail it? If I refuse, he won’t stop pestering me.

Each day I get more used to our morning walks. It’s nice talking to him. One time I even asked him to walk me home. He looked happy with my proposal.

I’m going to school, like always, thinking that it’s just the end of March, and you can already smell spring in the air. It’s still cold but getting warmer. I reach our crossing and I find myself looking around for him. I seem to be waiting for our meetings with growing enthusiasm every day. I’ve even started choosing outfits with greater care. There’s a pang of disappointment assoon as I realize he won’t be here today. I look around, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

The next day the situation repeats itself. I feel a growing unease. Maybe something happened to him? When another day comes and he’s not there, I’m sad. He must be ill. I give it some thought, but I’m fairly certain he’s not. He’s okay. He’s ghosting me. Only why would he do that? Am I not his type? Maybe I said or did something that scared him away. That’s it—what can someone like him see in someone like me? I saw how Elsa was looking at him, devouring him with her eyes. If he so much as nodded her way, she’d spread her legs for him. Who knows, maybe she already did. She’s tall, pretty, thin—maybe she’s more his type. Those nightmarish thoughts spin through my head. A quiet whisper is offering me contradicting conclusions.Maybe he can also feel this strong energy in the air whenever we’re together?Maybe it scares and puzzles him too?Then the reasonable part of me chimes in and chases away the whispers:It’s impossible. Men cannot feel things like that.He’s far from my image of the perfect guy, but if you think about it long enough, he’s got everything I need, and I find everything about him attractive. The worst thing is that whenever he appears nearby, my heart always skips a beat. That’s not good. I can’t control that. I have never felt something like that before. Those feelings are unwelcome and unexplored.

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