Page 21 of Fervency Love

Abby

Just as I suspected, my head starts spinning after the second beer. I stumble when we’re leaving. “Shit!”

“Watch out!” Ve catches me at the last moment. I end up in his arms. And here it is: the wave of heat passing through my body again. Strange, but I like it.

I get a hold of myself fast.Walk in a straight line,I keep saying to myself.You drunken dolt,adds my subconscious.

“Why don’t you take my arm, eh?”

“Yes, that seems like a good idea.” No boy has ever walked closer than a couple of feet from me. This closeness is an interesting experience.

We grab a bus and sit at the end. It’s nearly empty. There are only two other people riding with us, and they’re sitting in the front.

The beer is doing its job. I’m relaxing. Ve is watching me, I can feel it. I raise my head. When our eyes meet, a surge of unusual emotions washes over me. I’d like to kiss him.No!You’re drunk!Get your shit together!my subconscious screams. I think he sees my inner struggle, as he breaks me out of it, asking, “What’s up? Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, no, it’s alright,” I lie.

“’Cause you’re looking at me like…”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. As if inside you’re just screaming: kiss me!”

“Oh, my God! That’s right! Oh, no, did I say that aloud?”

How to get out of this? My head is alight with thoughts, desperately trying to come up with a clever explanation. Ve laughs at my casual directness.

“I told you, I’m drunk and I’d like to kiss you,” I say. I can feel my cheeks burning. I’m so lame. “But I won’t do it,” I add quickly.

“Why not?” he asks with interest.

“Because I’m drunk and I might regret it later.”

He smiles, and now I see it: he’d like to kiss me too, but he respects me too much to do anything about it now. This boy impresses me more and more. Or maybe he’s just playing the gangster, wearing a mask beneath which he’s hiding his real, gentlemanly, sensitive personality? He said it himself, didn’t he? He’s shy.

Finally, we reach the tanning salon. Jesus, alcohol can really screw with your head. I ask where the restrooms are, and the receptionist points me in the right direction. I barge into the stall. I’m so relieved! I go wash my hands, but I notice myself in the mirror.

“Sweet mother of God! I look terrible!”

My cheeks are flushed—that’s the alcohol, I’m sure. My gaze is clouded. I rinse my face with cold water, touch up my hair and leave. The receptionist is already preparing my bed. Yeah, I only use tanning beds. They may be less hygienic, but my head always spins in stand-up tanning.

Lathered in lotion, I jump on the bed. It’s starting to feel like a very stupid idea. When the heat goes up, I’ll feel even worse. I replay the date in my head, our conversation, his movements,gestures, and words. There is something in him… Those eyes. Those lips.

I’m brought back to reality by the chime telling me ten minutes have passed. I get up, dry myself with a towel, dress, and… nearly fall on my face. Fuck, this was such a bad idea. My head is spinning like crazy.

We leave the tanning salon. Seeing the state I’m in, Ve grabs me by the arm and clasps it under his own. I’m so grateful. As we start heading home, Nikki rounds a corner and crosses our way. She’s with Elsa, the girl who likes Ve. I immediately cuddle up to him. Let her see he’s mine. I can’t control it. Shit, I’m losing my mind after that beer! What do I mean: he’s mine? I don’t know the guy!

Nikki sees me and recognizes my condition.

“Hey, Abby! Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Nikki, this is Ve, the one I told you about.”

She barks a rough “Hi” and asks me where we’re going.

“Ve’s walking me home.”

“What will your parents say when they see you like that?”

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