Page 72 of Fervency Love

He throws his arms in the air as if trying to shed all the energy he’s been accumulating for days. I never thought he’d be so angry about something like that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be mad…”

It didn’t even cross my mind, but considering the circumstances I know now that it was stupid.

Ve faces me with a grave expression. His stare is ice-cold and piercing. It’s burning a hole in my heart. He’s more than mad. I’ve never seen him like that.

“I didn’t feel a thing. I don’t get what people see in it. I took a couple drags, and that was that.” My every word is making things worse. I trail off.

“Fucking hell! You promise you won’t drink, and then you go and smoke? Are you out of your fucking mind? What kind of irresponsible shit is that supposed to be!? You had no idea how your body would react, and you smoked with people you didn’t even know?!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m done with you, girl.”

He leaves me by the block, shaking with emotion. Something rips me to shreds from the inside. It burns. What now? I think I’m going to die. I have no idea what to do.

As soon as I go inside, another attack comes.

“It’s late! You’re late!” Dad bellows. “Pack your things, we’re going to Daisy Valley.”

I’m getting hysterical. No! Not now! Fuck that! I need to fix what I ruined. If I go now, it’s going to be the end. Desperate, I do something I regret instantly. I’m a horrible person, but I have no other choice. I text Mom:

Mom, if Dad makes me go now, I’ll run away! You can’t make me go there. I have business here. I can’t go, please, understand that. Do something or I’ll go mad!

Mom calls me back after an instant.

“What’s going on?” She listens to my story and says: “Go talk to your father.”

“No, Mom, I can’t talk to him. I just messed up and need to fix things. I can’t go. Please, believe me,” I plead.

“Alright.”

She hangs up, and I hear her calling Dad. I made it! He lets me stay, leaving me with a curt “act responsibly”. Then he takes his things and leaves. I hear him turning the key in the lock and going to the elevator. I have no idea where to start. I call Vicks. She’s at my door a couple minutes later.

“Let it go, Abby. Give him time. Let him sleep on it. Did you apologize?” she asks.

“Of course.”

“You can’t do more than that at this point.”

“But maybe if we went there…”

“No!” she cuts in. “You won’t make things better now. It’s only going to make it worse.”

I really don’t want to listen to her, but somewhere deep down I know she’s right.

I wake up in the morning. My heart is bleeding.You’re such an idiot!my subconscious says. I tell it to shut up. The only thing it does is to nod its head. Now I know why he was so cold over thephone when I called him from Spain. That was the same day I had that smoke. He must have known.

How to make this right? I was going to go to the bar with the girls today, but that’s a stupid idea. I let it go and spend the entire day at home. I don’t call Ve. I really want to, but I can’t. I decide to isolate myself from everyone and everything and go to him first thing in the morning tomorrow.

Chapter 36

Abby

I grab my things and go. I need to get this over with or else I’ll go crazy.

It’s ten a.m. I knock. He opens the door and invites me in, giving me a kiss. That’s a shock. We go to his room, and I sit on the bed. He opens the window and lights a cigarette. I say nothing, keeping my eyes on him. He takes a long drag. With the cigarette gone, he takes my hand, pulls me closer, and gives me a hug. Tears streak down my face. He lies down and draws me to him, placing my head on his shoulder. His lips brush against my skin very softly. Then, he kisses me deeply, passionately. It’s full of yearning.

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