Page 93 of Fervency Love

It must be the helplessness. I regret saying that as soon as the words come out of my mouth. Connor’s expression is clear.

“Ve, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”

I hold him by the hand, but he pulls away. There are tears rolling down my cheeks. At that very moment, my parents’ car drives up and parks. They witness everything. I’m crying and sobbing by now. Ve comes closer and looks me in the eyes. He wipes the tears away.

“Don’t cry, I can’t take it,” he says.

“Abigail, come here.” It’s Dad.

“Can you go to them with me?” I wipe the rest of the moisture away from my face. Ve says nothing, only nods.

“Take this and give it to Grandma,” Dad says and gives me a package, not even looking in my direction. He doesn’t seem to know how to deal with this.

I turn to face Ve.

“Will you come with me? Please.”

He agrees but keeps silent the whole way, torturing me with his indifference. I pass on the package to my grandmother and run down the stairs. Ve is waiting where I left him, smoking a cigarette. He spins around and heads back to my block without a word. When we’re close, we see the girls leaving the building. Taking this opportunity, Ve says impassively, “I’m off.”

“What!? Don’t go, please.” I look at him pleadingly.

“Go to your girlfriends, unless you want to stay alone,” he replies coldly.

One of his friends passes us by and calls him.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“And I don’t want to stay here with you.”

Ouch. It feels like a kick in the stomach.

“Are you breaking up with me?” I ask, feeling bile rising in my throat.

“No.” He snorts derisively.

He sets off, and I call after him, “Ve!”

He swings around and barks out a sharp “I’m fucking off”. He reaches his buddy’s car, gets in, and drives off without a goodbye. I’m feeling faint. Vicks is instantly at my side.

“What happened?” she asks with concern.

“I don’t know. You saw it yourselves. He was looking for an excuse.”

“You think he was planning to meet his friends before? It’s not a coincidence they were here right now, is it?”

“I don’t know anything anymore. I’m too tired.”

“But what happened?” they keep asking.

“I was so helpless with his mood swing that I told him to go fuck himself.”

“Ouch!” Ivy cringes. That wouldn’t have happened to her. She barely ever curses, and besides, she’s too even-tempered to allow herself such lapses. Or maybe I just never had the occasion to see her in a situation like that.

“It’s bad, I know, but it happened. I couldn’t do anything. I apologized and thought it was going to be okay. He even went to Grandma’s with me.”

“So what happened?”

“I don’t know, Ivy. He saw you and said he was leaving. Got up and told me he was fucking off. You saw the rest. I’ve got to go home now. I think I’m going to puke.”

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