Page 94 of Fervency Love

The girls give me a farewell hug.

When I go inside, the first thing I see is my mom’s concerned expression. I want to be free of this burden. I tell her what happened. She hugs me closely. Dad joins in, cheering me up a bit. I’m surprised with that reaction, to be honest.

I go to bed early and analyze the situation for a while. Maybe he really had other plans. It’s more than certain to me. On the other hand, he was just waiting for the right moment to make sure he was not leaving me alone. Would a person who doesn’t care act like that? I don’t think so! Exhausted, I quickly fall asleep.

I sleep through Sunday, not even changing out of my pajamas. Mom pops in once every few minutes to check up on me, but I’m not feeling too good. I’m feverish from all those emotions.

I still feel horrible on Monday. The teacher asks if everything is alright, so I tell her I’d rather go home. She excuses me. My legs take me straight to Ve’s door.

He opens with a surprised expression and steps out to the corridor without inviting me inside. That’s a bit unnerving.

“What’s going on, babe? Why aren’t you at school?”

I tell him how I’m feeling, apologize for the hundredth time. He embraces me, and I snuggle up to him. He’s like a hot poultice. All the bad mood evaporates with each second I spend in his arms. I raise my head.

“Why can’t we go in?”

“We can, but everyone’s there. There’s nowhere to sit. Maybe we better take a walk,” he says and again I feel weird.

It’s school time, so that doesn’t really make much sense. What’s that supposed to mean anyway? Everyone’s home. Why was he the one to open the door in that case? Oh, no! What if he was having sex with someone and didn’t expect me? I’m not going to survive this. I’m going mad. But I can’t make him angry, so I don’t ask. Was he engaged with his friends and provoked the spat on purpose? Is he hiding something and didn’t let me in to keep it that way? All these questions are crammed in my head. A while longer and there won’t be any space for more. The layers of secrets are terrifying. There might come a moment when I won’t be able to trust him anymore.

My own behavior is worrying too. I need attention and the sense that I’m impressing someone, that someone needs me so much that I’m beginning to do weird things, only to confirm my own feeling of being needed and sufficient. It’s like what happened at the swings. I wanted to keep him by my side so badly, that I didn’t really care about the consequences. Someone might have seen us! I don’t exactly regret doing that. I want him always and I’m turned on by such things, most of all by how he adores me after I do something like that. How I impress him.It’s overwhelming, really, the sense that I’m demeaning myself. Instead of having some dignity and just ignoring him, I abase myself before him only to keep him in place for a while longer, to make his interest in me last a moment more—it’s as if I’m living and breathing only thanks to him. It can’t be healthy. Unfortunately, there isn’t anyone to confirm that for me.

Chapter 46

Abby

The first day of school goes by reasonably quickly. The weather on Saturday is swelteringly hot, especially for early September. I hang around with Ve, riding bikes over the local meadows and hillocks. We reach a forest clearing to catch a breath. I sit on the grass, sipping water, and glance around. I’m not sure where we are. I notice a hunting hideout at the tree line.

“I want to go up there!” I squeal.

“Where?” Connor follows my eyes. “Seriously?”

“Yes! Have you ever been to one?”

“No.”

“Have you ever fucked anyone in one?”

“Uh, no.”

“Would you like to?”

“You are one crazy girl, Abbs!”

We leave the bikes on the ground and race to the structure. The wooden ladder seems sturdy enough. We climb up.

The view from the tower is magical. Ve perches on an inbuilt narrow bench, while I pull down my shorts and briefs, before sticking my ass out and sitting on his rock-hard dick. I’m on the pill now. It’s wonderful! We don’t have to limit ourselvesanymore. Ve kisses my neck and pushes his hips out to meet me halfway, wanting to reach deeper inside. He frees my breasts from the cups of the bra and pulls down my shirt, making them perk up in the fresh air. His hands start kneading, pinching at the nipples. The fact that I’m half-naked in the wild, that anyone could come and see me here is an extra turn-on. I’m such a freak!

“I’m going to come, Abbs. Where do you want me to come?”

I shoot up and spin around, kiss him on the lips, and kneel down, closing my mouth over his prick. He doesn’t need much. He’s as aroused as I am. The wave of hot semen floods my throat. With the last drop out, Ve pulls me up and sits me down in his lap, brushing away the hair from my brow and kissing me.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you too!”

We sit like that for a while longer, delighting in our closeness, the silence, the rustle of leaves on the wind, and the chirping of birds.

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