Page 134 of Red King

“You might be right.” Becs is wearing a wraparound dress that fits her beautifully. It’s her first maternity dress. To think I might have to wear them too one of these days.

My heart fills with tentative hope and a whole lot of terror.

I pick up my jacket, putting it over my arm. Then I go outside. It is a beautiful day with the potential for late afternoon showers.

“Are you sure I can’t stay at home?” I moan.

“No,” Dave and Becs say together.

“Why not?” I don’t expect an answer, and they don’t give me one.

Dave unlocks the car as we walk toward it. I’m dragging my feet.

“Hi, Jessica.” Becs waves at the neighbor, who is watering the garden.

“Hi, Becs. You guys look smart.”

“We’re off to church for a christening.” Why does Becs sound so happy about it? Why did I agree to go to this thing?

I grumble under my breath. This is the very last thing I feel like doing. I finally settled on a royal blue dress and a matching jacket. The dress has always been a little roomy on me and now fits me like a glove. My breasts feel squeezed to death. I can’t believe how big they are already. I picked low heels and put my hair up. I’ve completed the look with a pair of pearl earrings and a matching pearl necklace. Actually, Jim’s grandmother gave them to me. She was a sweet old lady who passed away about a year before we split up. This is the first time I’ve been able to wear them since the divorce. To think I almost gave them away. I’m glad I didn’t. Jim might be a douchebag, but his granny was lovely.

I have emergency crackers and a bottle of water in my purse, just in case I need them. I lost my breakfast this morning, but so far, my tummy is behaving. Long may it last. I look up at the sky.

“Will do, but I doubt it will be necessary since they’re normally well-behaved,” the neighbor says, smiling. I’m not sure what they’re talking about.

Jessica looks to be middle-aged. She’s wearing a wide-brimmed hat and gardening gloves. From the tools out on the lawn, I would say that I know her plans for the afternoon.

She looks at me, and I wave. I’m not feeling like chatting, so I jump into the back of the Tucson and buckle up.

Becs and Dave continue talking with Jessica for another minute before climbing in as well.

“She’s so nice,” Becs says. “We’re lucky to have such sweet neighbors.”

Dave makes a noise of agreement as he starts the car. Then we’re pulling out and heading toward the church.

“Are you feeling okay, Paisley?” Dave asks, looking in his rearview mirror.

“I’m good, thanks.” I give a thumbs-up sign for good measure. I’m just dandy. My only wish was that I didn’t have to go to this thing.

“That’s good.” He smiles at me in the rearview before putting his eyes back on the road. Dave knows about my pregnancy. I told Becs she could tell him. It wasn’t fair to keep him in the dark; besides, he probably would have figured it out before long, anyway.

“And you, babe?” he asks Rebecca, putting a hand on her thigh.

“I’m fine. The last few days have been better.” Becs gives him an adoring look that makes me feel sorry for myself, so I look out of the window.

It’s weird; I’ve never been happier and yet so depressed. I don’t know what to do with myself.

I went to the doctor, and my blood test came back positive. I managed to pull some strings at my old hospital and got an appointment for an ultrasound on Tuesday. It’s not what you know at the end of the day but who you know.

Maybe I’ll be able to relax once I’ve seen the heartbeat. It still doesn’t feel real. I wake up in the morning and have to pinch myself.

Cedar Pines is a small town, so a mere five minutes later, we pull into the parking lot. The church is old and beautiful, with a white steeple and stained-glass windows. The parking lot is filled with cars and children who run around in their Sunday best, laughing and playing.

Dave takes Rebecca’s arm, and with me as the third wheel, we make our way to the entrance. I get one or two surprised looks from old work colleagues.

Of course, no one expects the ex-wife to be at a ceremony such as this. I keep my head held high. I smile and wave and keep walking.

“Hi, Paisley.”

---