Page 128 of Broken Shadows

Hell belongs to the damned but is a refuge for the broken. It’s here, surrounded by punishment, demons, and ugliness, that I began to heal from my trauma—of a life on the run as an abused, adopted daughter with no one to love me, who believed I didn’t deserve love.

I found freedom from mortality and suffering in the darkness, a sense of belonging with a family I chose, and the truest, most fucked up love I could have imagined.

For all my father’s words of damnation and injecting the fear of Hell into me, it has become my haven, and it’s here where I belong.

If only Lorcan would stay.

My fingers curl over the edge of the stone balcony railing overlooking the layers of Hell, wastelands and trials stretching out seemingly for an eternity, the darkest reaches belonging to the fog. I breathe in the ash-tinted air and allow my eyes to flutter shut.

Death has followed me my entire life, but now I see it for what it is—salvation. There is only so long a mortal can remain in Hell, although time is different here, so my regular lifespan is much longer than it would be in the Human Realm.

How ironic that when my soul passes, I’ll never have to leave this place. If Lucifer is merciful, he may preserve me like he did for my aunt. Her soul, however, has been obliterated out of existence. I give little thought to her nowadays. Just like the rest of my biological family and Edward, all of whom were lost to the trials. Some statues, like Edward, Lorcan told me in passing, and a few of them turned into water wraiths or those trees that bleed in the woods.

I could help them if I wanted, but who am I to intervene with divine punishment? Not that I’d want to. Any of the dead who were good in my life, ended up some place else.

I feel Rosa before I hear her footsteps. Her warm, cozy magic a breath of fresh air amongst the grayness. I know why she’s come. We’ve lost ourselves in court life ever since Evangeline was eviscerated and it had to end, eventually.

Her extended sigh grows louder as she closes the gap between us and joins me on the balcony. Wide, brown eyes take in the scenery, her fixed stare absorbing every detail. “You seem happy here.”

My lips quirk upward. “I am. Although Lorcan is still intent on me having a human life back in your world.”

She purses her thick, rosy lips. “My world? So, I assume that means you’re not coming back with us?”

“I’d hoped you’d stay a little longer,” I admit and twist my torso to fully face her. “But I get it. You need to get back to your life.”

“Well, start again. There’s no way I’ll be able to get my clients back after this hiatus.” She runs her hands through her fading pink ends. “It’s no matter. Ezra can walk through shadows, so I’m going to have him rob a bank or something.”

I snort-laugh, unsure if she’s serious or not. “So, Ezra is going with you.”

She drums her long, pink fingernails against the stone ledge. “He won’t leave me alone.”

My gaze narrows. “You love it.”

“I’m not about to get into a relationship with a demon,” she says, but the twist of her lips tells me it’s something she’s contemplated. “He’s going to be my first client.”

I smile. “So, you do have a plan for a fresh start?”

“Yes.” She nods and sucks in a deep breath. “I’m going to treat demons and witches in the Human Realm who need help with their sexual health. It actually opens many new doors.”

My brows slide halfway up my forehead. “Well, talk about making lemonade with lemons.”

She lands a hand on her tilted hip. “I’m also going to start a line of monster dildos. Ezra agreed to let me make a mold of his in its demonic form.”

Her pupils dilate and I shake my head with a grin. “You’ve seen it.”

“A girl can look.” Her quirky smile quickly fades as silence hangs between us. This was never a quick stop by to tell me she’s leaving soon. This is a goodbye. “Ezra and his little Rupert are waiting by the doors. I didn’t know how to tell you… I… I’m going to miss you. Fuck.” She grabs me by my shoulders and buries my head in her hair. I commit her scent to memory—raspberries and candy floss. Tears spring unexpectedly into my eyes when she says, “I had no one who really got me. I was always too much for most people and not enough for others. You saw me and I’ll always love you for that. I hope we get to see each other again, I mean, before our deaths and all.” She pulls me back at arm’s length. “I like Lorcan, I mean, for you anyway. He loves you and I already told him if he hurts you, I’ll summon him and bind him to a circle and force him to watch reruns of my favorite shows on repeat. He looked positively horrified.”

A laugh bubbles from deep within my stomach. “How the Hell am I supposed to manage without you?”

“Oh, you’ll be fine, babe. Look, if you get bored here, you can always pop up and see me through one of those visitors' entrances.”

We both know that can’t happen, at least, not without time catching up on me. I wouldn’t be able to come back to Hell. But we hold on to the possibility as we hug again. “Say goodbye to Gomey before you go.”

“Of course,” she whispers against the top of my head. “I wouldn’t leave without giving my baby a cuddle. You take care of him. Give him treats whenever he wants.”

“You always did spoil him.”

She steps back and winks. “Here’s to new adventures, ones without a ton of murder and blood.” I watch her walk away, catching the gloss to her eyes as she turns toward the door.

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