Page 29 of Broken Shadows

Then, maybe he didn’t love her. If that’s true, even if he didn’t have a relationship, then he doesn’t care for me either and this is all a game.

“She wrote those pages after she trapped me. Eva knew only her blood, or her descendants, could free me. By writing that grimoire, which is the very key to unlocking a portal, she knew she could poison whoever read it against me; and I hate to admit it, but it’s worked.” He presses a palm against the glass, then curls his fingers into a fist. “She wasinsane. I never led her on, not like that anyway. When I told her I didn’t love her in return, I found love spells and potions around her house, even demon circles. She did everything she could to tether me to her, even chaining me up and altering my memories. This went on foryears. But I still left, even after she forced my heart. That’s when she locked me in the Shadow Realm with her family’s help. It killed her to do it. Did you know that? She died only a few months after.”

I feel the blood rush from my face. “Who’s to say I won’t die then, by opening the portal for you?”

“You’re more powerful than she ever was. The Fallenmoore Coven has been cultivating black magic for decades, and it grows stronger with each generation. When she died, her powers were distributed amongst her living relatives, but it was tainted with her special brand of insanity, which is why when any of them since tried to suppress her magic, they went insane. But now, with the rest of your family dead, it’s all yours. You hold the power of an entire coven inside of you. That’s why The Order kept you alive. You’re the only one who can do this.”

“So, you’ll risk my life?”

He shakes his head. “Just because I care doesn’t mean I’m going to let fear of losing you blind me to your abilities. I know you can do this. I saw a glimpse of that when you broke the blood bond on the original portal. If I thought there was any chance you could die, I wouldn’t let you do this.”

Such bullshit, but I’m not doing this for him anyway. Rosa was right in what she told me. If I don’t get these demons out, we’ll be on the run for good. I can’t protect her and Gomez forever from The Order and the demon brothers. Perhaps I might be able to take Samuel down, but all of them? I risk dying before I can finish them off. But with Lorcan and Ezra, we stand a chance.

Lorcan’s intrusive gaze lingers on me, as if he’s trying to read my thoughts, but based on the wrinkles forming between his brows, he can’t.

“But do you believe me, about Eva?” he asks, breaking the long silence, as if my believing him is the only thing that matters.

I don’t want to admit it to him, but I do believe him, only because of one painful truth—Lorcan cannot love, which means he’s using me just like he was using her. I can’t let any feelings I had blind me like my great aunt did. I’ve already put Rosa and Gomez in danger from engaging with Lorcan in the first place.

“I’ll rebuild the portal,” I say in way of answer, then add, “only if you promise to kill Samuel when you find him so he can’t come after us, and free Aiden from his servitude.”

After a heavy sigh, he nods, and I jut my chin. It’s time to free my demon from his prison of one hundred years.

CHAPTER NINE

Evie

I was never afraid of dying.

I recall the counselor I’d been forced to speak to when I was thirteen asking me about it. Edward and Antionette had voiced concern over my morbid curiosity after I befriended the funeral home director’s son and was caught sneaking into the morgue. It wasn’t my first time going there at night when everyone was asleep, it was just the first time I’d gotten caught.

I only wanted to look at the bodies, to see what they may look like after they were dead, and yes, on occasion I would lie on an empty table and pretend I was a corpse just like them.

The counselor suggested it was trauma that led me there. I’d been around so much death that I was naturally curious about it. In truth, it was because I was desensitizing myself for the inevitable. I knew my life wouldn’t be a long one. Whether I was to die young at my own hand from finally giving into the depression, or because my magic took me out, it was going to happen. Of that I was certain.

So, now when I am faced with the very real possibility of my demise, why am I suddenly afraid?

“You’re going to be okay,” Rosa says from the bedroom door as if she can sense my thoughts. “We don’t have to do it today if you want to rest…” She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and looks me up then down. “Maybe it’s best if we wait.”

“No, I’m ready. We can’t wait too long. I ju…” I trail off and zone in on a spatter of blood over my hand. Edward’s blood.

Rosa is at my side before I realize I was dissociating. Her cold fingertips land over the blood splatter. “Hey, look at me.” My lashes flick up and I meet her warm, widening gaze. “Wecanwait. I promise The Order isn’t coming here tonight. This is the last place they’d think we’d come back to, precisely because it’s the most obvious choice. Aiden’s idea to come here was surprisingly brilliant.”

I blink thrice. “This was Aiden’s idea?”

She nods and squeezes my hand. “We are safe for the time being. Besides, we have escaped them once. We can do it again. I’ll even keep watch of the grounds, hmm? We all need a small respite.”

“But Lorcan—”

“Has waited a century. What’s another day?”

“Rosa.” My words tumble over each other as I spew all the suppressed feelings I’ve been keeping inside. “I know this sounds insane, but now that I’ve killed Edward, I don’t know what to do. I thought I’d feel better... but my anxiety is worse than ever.”

She tilts her head, her brows lowering slightly as her gaze narrows. “Just because he’s dead, doesn’t mean the deep wounds he left behind are. You can’t kill a memory, but you can heal your reaction to it, with time.” She pauses for a moment then sighs gently, pulling me an inch closer when she adds, “Look, the adrenaline is wearing off from earlier. You’re exhausted, your body has been put through so much. It’s not surprising that you’re anxious. What you need is a shower, clean clothes, and a good night of sleep.”

“We don’t have time—”

She cuts me off before I can argue that I don’t need to rest. I doubt I could even sleep if I tried. “I need to rest too. We’re all tired and can use one calm evening.”

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