Page 17 of Always Been You

Getting to the lobby, I rush out the front door and make it onto the sidewalk, moving out of the way before I stop and clutch at my chest and look up to the sky. The tears I’ve been fighting since I walked out of Drew’s apartment fight their way past my control. I can feel the first one make its way down my cheek as I stand here. I quickly swipe at it, working to keep the rest at bay. I can’t start crying in the middle of the sidewalk. Taking a deep breath, I do my best to gather myself. I don’t want to take the train right now. There is a store around the corner I decide to walk to, knowing I can hide in the washroom out of sight of the public.

As I make my way to the store, I pull out my phone and call Zoey and ask if she can pick me up. She agrees and I make my way to go hide until she tells me she is here.

After lunch withOlivia, I head home to get a workout in before I have to get set up for the guys to come over for poker tonight. It’s my turn to host and they should be arriving around 5 p.m. to bullshit before we start.

My workout is longer than usual. I push myself to try and get thoughts of Olivia out of my head. Not only is she my friend and my best friend’s little sister, but she has a boyfriend. I know I want her in my life and if that means that our relationship is strictly platonic then that’s the way it has to be and I’ll keep it that way, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing it could be so much more.

Spending time with Olivia has been so easy since reconnecting with her, but it’s been a reminder of why I’ve kept my distance since coming home from Harvard. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, or watching how her cheeks turn pink when she blushes reminds me of all the feelings I had for her before. The time apart has only allowed her togrow and blossom, making all those little things about her so much better.

I run on the treadmill in my in-home gym, pushing myself harder than usual, not stopping until I am panting for breath. When I finish, I grab a towel, patting my face dry and wrap it around my shoulders before grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. Opening the bottle, I chug it, finishing it in one go, crumpling the empty bottle when I’m done.

Entering the kitchen, I put the bottle in the recycle when the front door opens and Matt strolls in carrying a couple of six-packs of beer.

“Hey man,” he says as he walks in and puts the beer in the fridge.

“Hey,” I say looking at my watch. Matt catches me and says, “Yeah, I’m early, thought I’d come by, and we could throw the four o’clock game on before the guys get here.”

Nodding my head, I reply, “Sure, put it on. I’m just gonna jump in the shower real quick.”

Matt nods at me, before opening a beer and moving into the living room, dropping on my couch and propping his feet on the coffee table. Matt and I have always been close, we have keys to each other’s places and often show up unannounced, so this isn’t weird, but what is weird is I was just pushing myself harder than normal in the gym to rid myself of the dirty thoughts I’ve been having of his younger sister.

I make my way to my bedroom and into the ensuite washroom and shower quickly before joining Matt in the living room. The game is still zero-zero. I walk into the kitchen and call out to Matt, “Need another beer?”

“Sure,” he calls back. Reaching into the fridge, I grab two beers and pop the tops off them and go join Matt on the couch, handing him his beer.

“What did you do today?” he asks me as I settle down beside him. My beer hovers in front of my lips as I look at him. He knows that Olivia and I are friends, and I have no intention of hiding that we went to brunch today, but I’m not sure how he will react to it.

“I went to brunch with Olivia, then came home and worked out. You?” I ask and take a sip of my beer, keeping my eyes on Matt, gauging his response. He turns his head toward me, raising an eyebrow.

“Brunch with Liv? How was that?” he questions before continuing, “I know she missed you when we first got back from Harvard. She asked about you a few times.”

I never knew she asked about me. I never knew she missed me until she said something to me this week about it. I’m more surprised though that Matt is saying that his sister missed me. I missed her, too. Conversation with her is always so easy and silence has never been awkward. It’s always been nice to just be with her.

“She did?” Matt nods.

“Brunch was good. We caught up and talked about the old days. I missed the easy conversation with her.” As I pick at my beer label I add, “She went to sign her lease for the new place with Drew after she left brunch.” Matt’s jaw tenses and he takes a long drink from his beer.

“She’s an adult and can make her own choices, but I don’t like that guy.” Matt sighs before continuing, “Something about him bothers the crap out of me. But she can make her own choices.” I know that it’s hard for Matt to say that, he’s always been protective, but respectful of his sisters, allowing them to live their own lives.

We sit and watch the game for the next bit. Caleb and Grayson show up around 5 p.m. and join us on the couchand we finish watching the game before we move to the table for poker.

We are sitting around the table, a couple of hands in, and Caleb is telling us a story from this week at work.

“It took 3 officers chasing him five blocks to catch him. I was just thankful that their car was closer. I did not want that naked fucker in my car,” Caleb says, shaking his head.

Laughing, I shake my head too. “I’m not sure how you deal with shit like that. I think I much prefer people in stuffy suits and boardrooms.”

“Well, some days I question it too,” Caleb says.

“You know, last week we had a guy come into the ER after putting his arm through a Sawzall. It’s a wonder the human species has survived so long,” Grayson says laughing.

Laughing, Matt claps me on the shoulder. “I’ve gotta agree with Josh on this. I definitely prefer my office.”

I enjoy our poker nights. The stories that get told are often just as hilarious as today’s and I definitely needed the distraction.

Matt places his beer down on the table and starts shuffling and dealing. Just as he tosses the last card to Caleb, his phone buzzes next to him. He looks at it and his brow furrows and he looks at me. “It’s Zoey. She would only call if it’s important. I gotta take this.” I nod and get up and move to the kitchen, looking for another beer.

“Hey Zoey, what’s up?” … he sits up straight in his chair, “What happened?” … “Yeah, I’ll be there, does she need anything else?” … “Okay, everything will be okay.”

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