Page 24 of Always Been You

I swivel my head over to Josh as I notice him walking over to me with a cup of coffee. He slowly does a head-to-toe scan of me before his eyes come up to mine. When his eyes meet mine, his pupils are huge, almost taking up his entire eye. He hands me the coffee and our fingers touch as he does. A shiver runs through my entire body.

“Good morning, Olivia,” he says with a smile. “Breakfast will be done in 10 minutes. I was just going to send one of the girls for you.”

“Thanks.” My throat is so dry, I barely manage to get the word out of my throat as I stare at him. He nods before turning around and going back to the stove.

I make my way over to the dining table and take an empty chair near the head of the table. I look down at the coffee and notice that it’s already the bright colour it turns after I add my milk and sugar. Taking a quick sip, my eyebrows shoot up. It has the right amount of sugar and milk. It’s exactly how I take it. I look up and I notice that the girls are staring at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Josh,” Eliza whispers to me. I check over my shoulder to make sure that he can’t hear us.

“What about him?” I whisper.

“We came out this morning, ready to get coffee and leave, and when he saw us, he said that he was making breakfast for the two of you and that we should stay and join. He added more plates to the table and got us drinks. When Hannah said good morning to you, he immediately looked at you with a smile on his face and made you a coffee. Like it was something that he does every day…”

Josh was going to make us breakfast and then invited my friends to stay? I continue to just stare at her before I finally shake my head. Before I can say anything, Josh comes striding into the dining area with plates full of food. He puts down a plate stacked with French toast and another with bacon, going back into the kitchen he comes back with more, one with eggs, a bowl with cut strawberries and blueberries, and tucked under his arm a can of whipped cream. The table is full of my favourite breakfast foods. I can feel my heart begin to race. Josh got up this morning and decided to make my favourite breakfast foods for the two of us. The last person to do that for me was my mom. I rub my hand over my chest to tamper down the ache growing there.

He sits down beside me and claps his hands and rubs them together. “Let’s dig in,” he says.

“Thank you, Josh,” Eliza says.

“Thanks, Josh,” Hannah says next.

“Looks amazing, thanks Josh,” Zoey chimes in, and Josh nods at them.

I stare at the layout before me. My favourite breakfast is laid out in front of me, and he knows how to make my coffee.I turn and face Josh, placing my hand on the wrist closest to me. “Thank you, Josh. This means a lot.”

“No problem,” he says and hands me the plate of French toast. We all load up our plates with food. The girls talk about their week and upcoming plans, and Josh asks questions of everyone and listens intently.

I feel like I have stepped into some weird alternate reality. I am currently sitting at a dining table with Josh and my best friends, eating my favourite breakfast first thing in the morning. I don’t remember a time when I ever did anything like this with Drew. I don’t remember easy conversation between him and my friends. This isn’t my normal life, is it? I listen to the surrounding conversation contributing very little when Eliza asks me a question that pulls me out of my fog. Everyone is looking at me, waiting for an answer.

“Sorry Liz, what did you ask?”

“How is completing your list coming along?”

I can feel heat climbing up my cheeks, I made a list of things I want to do this summer since breaking up with Drew. Some items on the list are sexual things that I want to do as part of a new me now that I’m single. My eyes dart to Josh, who is looking at me. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Um, I finished writing it, but haven’t started it yet though,” I tell her.

“What’s this list?” Josh asks as he takes another bite of French toast.

“Olivia here has created a list of aaallll the things that she wants to do since breaking up with Drew,” Zoey says with a mischievous grin on her face.

“Okay, what’s on this list?” he asks.

“Um, nothing really,” I say, avoiding his gaze.

“Not true, last we talked about it you said a trip to Banff was on it, as well as a trip to the island,” Hannah’s eyes dash to Josh, “and a few more things.” She says with the same grin on her face, probably remembering some of the sexual items on the list.

“That sounds fun. I’m sure we can tackle that list of yours this summer, Olivia,” Josh says with a smile. My neck and face feel so warm. I am sure that Josh would be very capable of helping with EVERY item on that list. Thoughts of him helping with the list has me breathing faster. I give him a small smile and a slight nod. My throat is so dry and my body is so hot, I’m not sure that I can form words right now.

“Oh, that’s so nice of you to offer to help her, Josh. Liv you should show Josh the list later,” Zoey says giving me a huge smile. She is sitting across from me, so I kick her under the table and glare at her, she grimaces. The last thing I want to do is show the list to Josh, he doesn’t need to know my sexual fantasies, that is a step way too far past the friend line we have drawn in the sand.

“There’s no need for that,” I say through clenched teeth.

“I’d love to see it; I’ll help you get everything checked off of it before summer ends,” Josh says.

“Won’t that just be great Liv, checking off the list with Josh?” This time, it’s Hannah chiming in. She’s too far away for me to kick her under the table so I smile and tilt my head before saying, “Well Hannah, why don’t you create your own summer to-do list and ask Dr. Maxwell to help you with it.”

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