Page 84 of Always Been You

“Um… things have been good,” I say, not exactly sure how I should tell my mom.

Josh walks into the kitchen and raises his eyebrow, seeing me on the phone. Mom, I mouth to him and he nods as he opens the fridge, grabs a bottle of water and passes it towards me. I shake my head and he opens it, taking a sip.

“Just good?” Mom’s always been able to tell when something’s on my mind, and it hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten older.

“Well, great actually. We’re together now.” I run my teeth over my bottom lip, waiting for Mom’s reaction. Josh watches me curiously from his position, leaning against the counter.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so happy for you.” My shoulders relax as I hear her genuine happiness for me through the phone. “You two have always been so close.”

A smile spreads across my face. “Yeah, we have. It’s been amazing. He makes me happy.”

Josh smiles, listening to my side of the conversation.

“So it’s serious?” Mom questions.

“Yeah Mom, it’s serious. I love him.”

I walk over to Josh and grab his water, taking a quick sip.

“So you’ll be giving me grand babies soon?”

I start coughing on the water. Josh pats my back lightly before rubbing it in circles, and I hand him his water back. I mean, I am pregnant, but she doesn’t know that, and I literally just told her we are together and she’s already pushing the grandbabies thing.

“I mean, we both know that your brother won’t be giving me some anytime soon,” she says.

“Mom, I literally just told you about us and that’s your first question? You didn’t ask about grandbabies when I was with Drew,” I say and both of Josh’s eyebrows rise. I can see all the questions flickering across his face. I put my phone on speaker and place it on the counter, turning to the oven and removing the film from the lasagna.

“Well, that’s because I always hoped you’d see the truth and he wouldn’t be sticking around for long.” I can hear my mom sigh through the phone. “You always deserved someone like Joshua. I’ve seen the way the two of you have always looked at each other. You had a crush on him when you were kids. Don’t think we didn’t see it.”

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks as Josh listens to my mom.

“And he might think that no one noticed when his crush grew, too. If you don’t count that and the looks you two gave each other, then there is the fact that during the few weeks that he was home from school in December every year, you guys watched every game together without fail,” trying to keep myself busy as Mom talks, I grab some cutlery out of the drawer, turning and facing Josh, “and when you passed out on the couch after you watched a movie one night, I walked in on him placing a blanket over you and whispering ‘Sleep well, Sunshine.’ It was the sweetest thing. He looked so content looking at you.”

I feel the colour drain from my face. Sunshine. Mom had heard him call me Sunshine. All the anonymous flowers I’ve received on my birthday have called me Sunshine.

Josh sent them all.

I make eye contact with Josh and I can tell that he knows that I’ve made the connection as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth and pink spreads across his cheeks.

“Sunshine,” is all that comes out and I’m surprised Mom hears it because it doesn’t feel like it’s more than a whisper.

“Yeah, I never told him I saw or heard him, but I did. I’m not sure why he didn’t say anything to you during any of his trips that he had feelings for you, because he obviously did. Does Matt know?”

Her question pulls me out of my fog. “Yeah, he found out yesterday.”

“How did that go?”

“It went well. Mom, I’m actually working on dinner. Can we talk at the barbecue on Saturday?” I ask, wanting to talk to Josh about all this new information.

“Yeah, of course, sweetie. I’m happy for you. Let me know if you need help with anything for Saturday. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I hang up the phone and look at Josh. He looks a little hesitant, like he’s not sure that I’ll react positively to all of this, but how could I not? The person I’ve had feelings for, for years, who has supported me emotionally and asked me to marry him, and is also the father of my child, has been doing little things out of love for me for years.

The birthday flowers have always made me smile and feel happy. I’ve always wanted to know where they were coming from and now I do, the amazing man standing in front of me.

A smile breaks across my face as I stare at him. “Sunshine, huh?” I ask with a teasing tone to my voice and his shoulders visibly relax now that he sees I’m not upset. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his around me, resting his hands just above my ass and he smiles down at me.

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