Page 91 of Always Been You

Olivia and I agree on a simple wedding and she gets to work planning it. My parents offer for us to use their backyard and to help with whatever planning details we need help with. Our guest list is small, we just want an intimate ceremony, so decorations are minimal. Her mom offers to bake our wedding cake and we meet with a caterer for the dinner and other desserts.

In between the wedding planning, we go shopping for the baby, we research car seats–which ones are the safest options, and we look at different strollers, cribs, change tables, and all the other things we are going to need for the baby. We put together a registry, per the instant nagging of our friends and family. Her mom and Gianna are working on throwing together a baby shower, and we’ve been sure to let everyone know that we aren’t going to find out the sex of the baby until they are born.

We pick an early-October date for the wedding; we get large event tents in case it rains and portable heaters for the evening when it gets cold. Before we know it, the date of our wedding arrives and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t have words to describe how ready I am to be married to Olivia, to call her my wife and for us to share the same last name. She and our baby are my everything.

Today is theday. I stand in one of the spare rooms of Josh’s parents’ house and I run my hands down my dress. It’s a simple white strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and empire waist with lace detailing down the skirt. I absolutely love it. My hair is in an updo that sits at the base of my neck with baby’s breath placed in it, and my makeup is simple and elegant. I stare at my reflection, realizing that in an hour I will be Mrs. Lincoln and married to my best friend. I run my hand over my belly.

“Mommy and Daddy love you, bug, and we can’t wait to meet you.”

I feel hands on my shoulders and look in the mirror to see Zoey, she’s my maid of honour today, and Hannah, Eliza, and Gianna are my bridesmaids. I’m so happy to have them up there with me today. They have stood by me through all the ups and downs, and they really are the best friends a girl could ask for.

“Josh asked me to give this to you,” she says, handing me a square box. I openthe box and gasp. Inside is a beautiful charm bracelet and a necklace. The necklace has a rose charm hanging on it and my mind instantly goes to the bouquets that he’s been sending me on my birthday. I look at the bracelet next and it has charms representing the items on my list, a charm from Whistler, Banff, Calgary, Victoria, Seattle, a camping charm, a hockey charm, a car, a two-piece charm with a flat circle with the engraving to me, you are perfect and an overlay of a heart, and two charms that look like they represent our birthstones. There is one loose charm in the box and I pick it up. It’s a just married charm and I see a folded piece of paper stuck in the lid.

Sunshine,

We have made so many memories together and I look forward to the many more that will create as husband and wife. I wanted you to have something tangible of the memories we made and a place that you can add to them for years to come. This has been the best year I’ve had and I owe it all to you. Thank you for choosing me. I don’t know how I came to deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life proving that I deserve to have you as my wife, as my partner, and the mother of my children. There is another charm in here for you to add right after our ‘I do’s’. Can’t wait to see you down there.

I love you, foreverand always.

Josh

I stare at the letter and read it a second time before I wipe away the tears, fold the note, and tuck it into the top of the box. I grab the necklace and bracelet out and have Zoey help me secure them.

“You ready?” Zoey asks with a smile. I smile back and nod. We all make our way out of the guest bedroom and down the hall to the stairs. The photographer is downstairs to capture a first-look moment with my dad, and when I reach the top of the stairs, the girls tell him he can turn around. He looks up at me and I make my way down to him.

When I get to the bottom, I can see the tears he’s holding back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad cry in my entire life and here he is now, seeing me in my wedding dress, starting to cry. His tears have me fanning my face to hold mine back because I don’t want to ruin my makeup.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart. I’m happy for you. I know the two of you will make each other happy.”

I hug my dad and whisper, “Thank you,” before we make our way to the doors leading to the backyard. The doors open and the girls begin their walk down the aisle. I take a deep breath, ready for the next chapter of my life.

The music starts and the guests stand as Dad and I make our way to the top of the aisle. When I get there, my eyes lock on Josh and I can tell the moment that he sees me. His jaw drops slightly as he stares at me, and I feel the beginning of tears run down my cheeks. So much for protecting my make-up. When Dad and I make it to the end of the aisle, he kisses my cheek, passes my hand over to Josh’s, and gives him a handshake. I know there is mutual respect between Josh and my dad and I’m so happy they have the relationship that they do. Looking up, I meet Josh’s eyes and see that he has tears in his, too. Seeing the men in my life who don’t usuallycry, with tears in their eyes, is sending me overboard. I tilt my head back and take a couple of deep breaths, trying to centre myself so I’m not a blubbering mess for the entire ceremony.

Our justice of the peace begins our ceremony, and before I know it, we are saying our vows. We both decided to write our own, and I decided to go first because I would not be surprised if Josh’s make me cry. Zoey hands me the piece of paper I asked her to hold on to earlier today. I unfold it and begin reading.

“Josh, I have spent the last 20 years getting to know you. I was only four when you started coming around with Matt after school. As I got older, you and Matt let me tag along when you played and you went from Matt’s friend to mine, too. As we got older, you became the cute older boy who still let me hang around, to the hot high school hockey player who let me come up with pre-game rituals with you.” Some laughs come from the crowd, probably those who have seen our pre-game ritual.

“You then became the man who would watch hockey games with me when you were home on break and never made me feel bad for yelling so loudly at the refs on the TV screen.” More laughs from the crowd and I take a deep breath as I continue. “You then became the man that has been there for me unconditionally in every situation. You have become my very best friend, my confidant, my safe space. Being with you makes all the weight of the world fall away and my days brighter and happier. You make life fun and exciting.

“Today I stand here before our friends and family promising to be your best friend, your safe space in times of need, to be your vault of secrets, to spend the rest of my life making sure you know you are loved, cherished, and respected. You will make the most amazing father to our child, and I can’t waitto watch you bond and grow. I know that our relationship can stand the test of time because we have built on friendship, but I ask that you humour me for a second. It’s brought you luck when you play hockey, so I figure we can only hope it brings us luck in our marriage.”

I hold my hand out for the beginning of our pre-game ritual and Josh looks at it, smiling. We go through the motions, bumping our fists in the up and down movement three times, twisting and giving a hip bump, and then I reach down and grab the water bottle I stashed earlier today and spray his hair. He just grins at me before he gives his head a good shake, sending water droplets in every direction, and everyone laughs.

He runs a hand through his hair, reaches into the inside pocket of his tux jacket and grabs out a folded piece of paper.

“Olivia, when I was young, I referred to you as Matt’s younger sister. Eventually, that changed to Olivia, my friend. You used to get upset when I called you Olivia because you insisted that everyone call you Liv, but I had thought why let such a beautiful name go to waste? I still think that to this day. In school, we had a school project about the meaning of our names. Joshua means ‘deliverance from God’, and I decided to see what yours means. It means peace, and I could not have thought of a better meaning.

“You bring peace to my life, no matter how crazy the outside world is. The moment I see you, it all fades away. With you, I know I can face and conquer anything. I can reach the unattainable, and I can be the best version of myself. I owe your parents a lot of thanks for bringing into this world my two soulmates.” Our guests laugh. “The man who is always down for whatever, and was with me through all the craziness of high school and college, and the most amazingwoman who has chosen to love me the way that I love her. Who will stand with me through anything, allows me to be vulnerable without judging me, has accepted my family as her own, and knows me so well she knows what I need, sometimes before even I do. Today I promise to support your dreams and aspirations, to be a place that you can dream, to be your safe place and protector, to always stand by you and our children, to love and respect you, and to make sure that every day you walk this earth, you know you are loved. It’s always been you, Olivia.”

The tears are running heavily down my cheeks by the time Josh finishes and it takes all of my effort to not let the sob break free. I barely manage to whisper, “It’s always been you, Josh.”

The justice of the peace announces it’s time for the rings and Matt leans forward and hands them both to Josh. Realizing I forgot to move my engagement ring, I clasp my hands in front of me and quickly move it to my other hand and I hear a couple of little laughs from some women.

I give Josh back my left hand and take his ring in my right. He smiles down at me and I smile back. Placing my hand flat for him, the officiant says, “Do you, Olivia Rose Carter, take Joshua Mitchell Lincoln to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

I say “I do” as Josh places the ring on my finger.

The officiant continues, “Do you, Joshua Mitchell Lincoln, take Olivia Rose Carter to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Josh says, “I do,” with total conviction, and I place his ring on his finger.

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