Page 16 of Always Been You

“Not much. Life is the same. I see Em when I can. She’s been busy lately with school, I have hockey with the guys, and we are in two leagues, one that runs in the winter and one during the summer. So that keeps me busy along with work.”

“God, I remember how much time I used to spend at the rink with you guys. But watching you play was amazing. Are you both still as fast as you were then?”

Josh chuckles. “Yeah, the three of us basically lived at the rink,” he smiles fondly like he’s gone back to those days in his mind. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they put your name on the stands you were there so often. You’ll have to come to a game and tell me if we are as fast. I know Matt said that he was going to invite you to one soon.”

“That would be nice. I miss watching you guys play.” I run my fingers through the condensation on my glass as we continue talking about his hockey games and our memories of the rinks growing up.

Our food arrives, and we eat and reminisce about the old days. While we eat I notice a few different women checking Josh out, lingering glances here and there, some with blatantly jealous looks at me for being the one eating with him, but he pays no one any attention but me. When we finish, Josh asks for the bill.

“Josh, you don’t have to pay for my breakfast. I invited you. I’ve got the bill.”

“Don’t be silly, Olivia. Just let me get this.”

I go to reach for the bill, but he grabs it faster. Signalling the server, she brings over the machine, and Josh hands her his card before I can.

“Got to be faster than that, Olivia.” The teasing tone in his voice reminds me of growing up with him and the way we would pick on each other. I smile at the thought.

“Okay, but the next one is on me.”

“Whatever you say,” Josh says with a chuckle, and I don’t believe that he will ever let me get the bill.

The server processes the payment, writing something on the receipt before handing it to Josh. He looks at it and slips it into the billfold before standing and making his way to the washroom. While he’s gone, I take a peek inside, written on the bill is a phone number. It has my stomach twisting. This woman gave him her number with me sitting right there. The audacity that she did it right in front of me, too. Josh and I are just friends, but if I saw two people out to eat, I would assume it’s a date. When Josh returns, we gather our stuff and head out toward the front of the restaurant. When we get outside, I turn to face him. “Thanks for lunch today. It was nice to spend some time together again.” Going onto my tiptoes, I pull him in for a hug, and he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me for a few seconds.

“Yes, it was, Olivia. I enjoyed it. Are you taking the train home?”

I nod. “I’m taking it to meet Drew.”

His jaw tightens, and he nods slightly, “I’ll walk you to the train?”

“You don’t have to, but that would be nice.”

We both start walking to the SkyTrain station, we spend the few minutes in silence. When we get to the station at the top of the stairs, Josh turns to me and leans down and places a chaste kiss on my cheek. It’s friendly and nothing more, but it sends heat radiating through my body. I have to control this. I’m with Drew and I don’t cheat. I know that this is entirely friendly, and Josh and I grew up together. This is nothing more than a friendly goodbye.

“Take care of yourself, Olivia,” Josh says.

“You too,” I say before turning and walking down the stairs toward the train. It’s only a few stops until the closest stop to Drew’s. I open my phone calendar and pull up the address of the rental agency and the time of our appointment before pulling up my maps app and figuring out how long it will take to get there. It will be a fast-ride from Drew’s place, so we should have a few minutes once I get to Drew’s before we have to leave.

I haven’t seen him much this week. I stopped by his classroom during my lunch break a couple of times. He is still dealing with his family stuff, so he hasn’t been over, and I haven’t been to his place. Plus, I had conferences this week that have kept me busy.

Getting off the train, I walk the couple of blocks to his place, using my fob to get into the lobby and the elevator. I then use my key to open the front door. I don’t see Drew when I get inside, but I hear noises coming from somewhere in the apartment, from what appears to be his bedroom.

His bedroom door is cracked open, and I slowly make my way toward it, thinking he might be taking a nap. After a couple of steps, I can distinguish the sounds. They are grunting and moaning, not snoring and it’s coming fromtwo people. I can hear the sounds of a woman. I feel like a lead ball has been dropped into my stomach. I clench my fists, feeling my nails biting into my palms.

“Yes Drew, harder,” I hear the woman moan. I stop dead in my tracks, the blood rushes from my face. Drew is sleeping with someone else. I can feel bile creep up my throat as I summon the energy to continue to move forward. I need to confirm this. I need to see it for myself. Taking a few steps forward slowly, making sure to remain quiet, I hear more.

“Take my cock, just like that.”

I hear Drew and the slapping of flesh the closer I get. Stopping outside the bedroom door, I see Drew on the bed, kneeling behind a skinny blonde on her knees with her face shoved into the mattress and facing away from me. I think I might puke.

“Just like that Drew, fuck me harder,” she moans. Her moans seem so over the top, almost like a porn star. He grabs her hips harder and starts pounding into her. Neither seems to have noticed me standing here. I can feel wet heat pooling behind my eyes, and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I am standing in my boyfriend’s apartment on the day we are supposed to sign a lease to move in together, and he is here fucking some other girl. My insides twist and I am having issues taking a full breath. I place one hand around my throat and the other hand over my stomach, as if that will help the pain and nausea radiating through me.

The woman continues to moan, and Drew continues to talk to her as he fucks her. My hand moves up from my throat. I can feel how cold my skin is as it moves to my mouth, holding back the scream threatening to rip from my throat. I’ve seen enough. I need to get the hell out of this apartment and as far away from this as soon as possible. I don’t wanteither of them to see or hear me. Slowly, I back away from the bedroom door, making sure to be quiet.

The last thing I need right now is to confront Drew. I’m not sure that I could take it. I don’t know if I’d scream and punch him or collapse into a ball on the ground. I’m not strong enough for this right now.

Needing fresh air, I reach the front door, opening it, and close it quietly before running down the hallway. I jab the elevator button fast several times in succession. I know that this won’t make the elevator come any faster, but I need to get out of here as quickly as possible. All rational thought has left me at this point. It feels like the walls of the hallway are closing in on me as I stand here waiting for the elevator. My breathing becomes quick and shallow. I bend over and put my hands on my knees, hoping to gain my breathing back. When the elevator dings, signalling its arrival, I get in, pushing the lobby floor button, then at the close door button the same way I did the call button. The walls stop closing in on me, but my breathing hasn’t returned to normal.

My mind begins to fill with questions as I descend. Has he even had issues with his family, or has it all been some elaborate ruse to cheat behind my back? How long has this been going on for? Do I know the blonde girl? Has he introduced us before? Does she know that he’s in a relationship? My brain is on overdrive trying to process the fucked-up shit I walked in on. I trusted him; I loved him, and I was changing my life so that we could live together because he asked me to. I’ve given notice to my landlord. How the hell am I supposed to move on from this? Not only did the man I love cheat on me, but he has ripped my world out from under me. I have no place to live now. What in the hell am I supposed to do at the end of June?

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