Page 89 of Always Been You

“I love you, too.”

“You know that what he said isn’t true, right, babe? I love all of you, and I’m excited to watch you grow with our baby.”

I’m not sure I will ever truly be able to move past these insecurities that I have. They have all been so ingrained in me since childhood by the bullies and the magazine ads.Everywhere you go, you see ads about diets and weight loss, about how being skinny is the only way to be attractive. I need to push those thoughts away. Josh has spent the last few months showing how he loves every inch of my body. He has kissed my thick thighs, my soft stomach, my stretch marks, my breasts that aren’t perky. Joshua Lincoln has kissed and shown every inch of my body love.

I turn around in his arms. When I turn, his hands rest on my stomach and his thumb moves in slow strokes. The girls come up to us as soon as I turn around. They all look at where his hands are resting and then look back up at us. “You’re pregnant?” Zoey whispers, and I nod. I know a lot of people heard the conversation, but it’s nice to confirm it with my best friends.

Zoey and Hannah start to scream and jump and Eliza is hugging me, then Zoey and Hannah join in. Josh is being a good sport about being in this group hug with my friends and I love him even more for it.

Matt walks up to us, and the girls break apart. “What are you girls screaming about?” he chuckles, used to our antics by now.

“I’m pregnant,” I say, and a huge smile spreads across his face.

Matt pulls me into the biggest hug, whispering congratulations in my ear, and I’m over the moon. I know that he’s going to make an amazing uncle because he is the best big brother I could ask for. He breaks from our hug, moves over and gives Josh a back-slapping hug. “Congrats man, I’m happy for you guys.”

Josh chuckles. “Thanks man, I’m happy and excited. Just so you know, I proposed before we found out she’s pregnant.”

Matt just smiles and pats him on the shoulder. I turn and look up at Josh over my shoulder. “I guess we should tell everyone now that the cat’s out of the bag,” I say.

He leans down, kisses me, and says, “We better, before your friends let it slip.” I kiss him back and we make our way over to the barbecue.

Mom stops me when we’re close. “Are you okay, sweetie? I have no idea how he knew that we were here.”

“Yeah, I’m okay, Mom. He was on his way to your place to see if I was there when he saw us, but he shouldn’t be a problem again. I think Caleb scared the man enough.”

“Okay, well, I’m here if you need me for anything.”

“Thanks, Mom, actually, before we tell everyone in a minute, we were going to wait, but the cat’s kinda out of the bag.” I squeeze the hand that’s holding Josh’s, and the other comes to my stomach. “I’m pregnant, Mom.”

Her jaw drops for a second and then I can see her eyes getting wet and the first tear begins its trail down her cheek. I hug my mom fiercely, and she holds me tight. “I’m so happy for you two. You’ll make amazing parents.” Hearing that from my mom makes so many of my worries fade, not completely because this is such a tremendous change, but to know that my mom believes in us means the world. Josh and I love each other, and we will face whatever comes our way.

I release my mom and hand in hand, Josh and I stand beside the barbecue while he gets everyone’s attention.

I squeeze Josh’s hand when everyone is gathered around and share, “After Josh proposed earlier this week, we got some news. News we are both incredibly happy about. In April, we will welcome baby Lincoln into our family and we couldn’t be more excited about it.”

There are cheers around us and Josh leans down and kisses me in a deep, soul-searing kiss that shows me just how much he loves me. When we break the kiss, we are both breathless, and he rests his forehead against mine. “I’m so excited about our family, Olivia. I will spend the rest of my life earning you and our children.” He kisses my forehead before people wishing us, even more, congratulations and well wishes surround us.

We spend the next few hours with our friends and family, eating and playing games before we pack it all up and head home. I am so exhausted that I pass out in the car and don’t wake up until we arrive home. Josh runs his fingers through my hair lovingly, and I rouse. He takes me straight to bed, where I fall right back asleep in the arms of my fiancé.

The next fewweeks go by normally. Olivia is now over her morning sickness, although her food aversions and cravings are still here. We both go to her doctor’s appointment and decide that we want to be surprised about the gender of the baby. Her stomach is becoming more firm as the pregnancy progresses and I think she looks absolutely beautiful. I’ve noticed the hormones wreaking havoc on her emotions, but do my best not to say anything because I’ve learned she hates having it pointed out. We’ve managed to do our weekend in Victoria and Seattle, and she absolutely loved it. We visited museums, walked outside, ate great food, and took plenty of pictures.

Now that school is back, and she’s past the first trimester, Olivia has let her principal know about the pregnancy and she was completely supportive of her. When she’s ready, she will get a long-term substitute so Olivia can go on maternity leave. I’ve disassembled one of the spare rooms and moved my office into it so that we can turn the room closer to ours into a nursery.

When I get home from work, I walk into the living room and Olivia is sitting on the couch watching Criminal Minds while cutting out laminated items for her classroom. I walk over to her, giving her a kiss before sitting beside her. She pauses the show and looks over at me, smiling. “How was your day?”

“It was good. Nothing blew up today, so I can’t complain. How about you? Your students adjusting to being back in school?”

“Yeah, I like to ease them into it, so it’s going well.”

“That’s good. I was thinking about ordering a pizza for dinner tonight, you good with that? Looks like you brought work home with you.”

She laughs, “Yeah, pizza sounds great. As a teacher’s husband, you’re going to have to get used to having all my teaching supplies around. And pretty soon there will be baby stuff too. Your perfectly pristine place is going to be full of my mess,” she laughs again.

I kiss the tip of her nose. “It’s our place, babe, and I don’t mind having your mess around because that means you’re around.”

A blush spreads across her cheeks as she smiles at me and returns to her show, cutting out her things while I order our pizza to be delivered. Once that’s done, I reach forward and grab an extra pair of scissors she has on the coffee table and one of her laminated sheets and start cutting out things.

“You don’t have to do that, babe,” she says.

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