Page 92 of Saving You

Caleb

Aknock at the bedroom door wakes me up. I’m wrapped up in Bailey as I groggily call, “Yeah.”

The door creaks open, and Charlie stands there holding Princess with a sleepy look as she rubs her eyes. Finn stands behind her, his head tilted as he watches Bailey and me. He’s been sleeping in Charlie’s room every night, so he hasn’t seen that his place has been taken over.

“Can I cuddle?” Charlie asks.

I lift the blanket, and a smile spreads across her face as she makes her way to my side of the bed and climbs in. She cuddles right into my side, and I lower the blanket, holding my two girls as close to me as possible.

The bed shifts as Finn jumps up and gets settled at my feet. He rests his head on my legs, staring up at me, and a small smile ghosts my lips. I’m lying here with the quintessential family. The only thing that could make it better would be a little baby lying on my chest.

Since my deployment, I’ve never thought of having children. That was until meeting Bailey; she’s turned my world upside down.

Bailey stirs and brushes her hairout of her face, smiling up at me as she whispers, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, Mommy.”

Bailey’s eyes widen for a second before she looks over and sees Charlie cuddled into my side.

“You snuck into bed with us, I see.” Her voice is tinged with amusement.

Charlie nods against my chest. “Yeah, I wanted cuddles, and Daddy said I could.”

There’s that word again. That name. The name I never thought I’d hear directed at me. The girls smile at each other, but where Charlie’s is carefree, I see the worry behind Bailey’s.

“Okay, Baby Girl, you need to go get dressed and pack your bag. We’ve got to leave soon to meet up with Aunt Lily,” she says, and I stiffen underneath them.

Why does Charlie need a bag? Was last night’s nightmare too much and she’s leaving me just like Gina did? Is she scared to have Charlie around me now? Is she upset that Charlie called me dad and I didn’t stop it? Questions swirl around my head as my breathing quickens. My chest tightens. Fuck, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Charlie’s voice sounds far away as she says, “Okay, Mommy.”

The bed dips as she climbs off and makes her way out of the room. Finn stays behind, his eyes staying on me as Bailey’s lips dust over my cheek before she follows suit and makes her way into the washroom. I rub the sheet between my fingers as I close my eyes and focus on the sound of the water running in the washroom and steady my breathing.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

I continue to focus on those things as I try to ground myself.

The sound of the washroom door opening carries through the room, and my eyes fly open. I watch as Bailey makes her way into the closet and comes out dressed in a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a cardigan. But the thing that catches my eyes is the bag she brings out with her. She places it on the bed as she sits on the edge and puts her socks on. I want to ask her so many questions, but my breath is caught in my lungs.

This feels all too familiar. My ears are filled with a whooshing sound as she rounds the bed, leaning over and giving me a chaste kiss. I can see her lips move, but I can’t process what she says before she moves into the hallway. The door opens again, and Charlie comes back in, climbing onto the bed as she gives me a hug before leaving.

The sound that pulls me back to reality the front door closing. Since they’ve moved in, they haven’t left without me being downstairs to say goodbye, giving them each a kiss goodbye.

Does this mean that it’s the end? Did Bailey rush out of here because she didn’t want to tell me she was leaving me? I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, not wanting to move. Finn nudges his nose against my face before resting his head on my chest, watching me. The pressure on my chest calms me a bit. Reaching up, I scratch his head. He whimpers as he continues to watch me.

I pat his head then move out from under the blanket and make my way into the washroom, Finn on my heels. I turn on the shower and stare at myself in the mirror. I take in the sunken look in my eyes as I process the last twelve hours. I know it isn’t from lack of sleep, but from the realization of what’s happened.

My nightmare last night scared away Bailey.

The only thing that packing a bag and staying somewhere else could mean is they’re leaving me, and my soul cracks. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to move on from this. How do you move on from two people who have taken over every part of yourbeing?

My life before them was routine, the same things day in and day out. Get up and walk Finn, eat breakfast and drink coffee, work, home, workout, walk Finn, dinner with a game on the TV. The only difference was the nights we had games, when that replaced my workout, and poker night on Saturdays. When they walked into my life, I found more things to enjoy. I laughed more. Smiled more. I woke up with a smile and looked forward to the day. I’m not sure how I’m going to go back to my boring routine.

I step into the shower, and the scorching water washes over me. I hope the heat from it helps my tight muscles relax, but it doesn’t. Realizing it’s useless, I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my waist. Finn watches me from his spot on the floor. I leave the washroom, and he follows. Making my way into the closet, I stare at all of Bailey’s clothes hung up on her side. It doesn’t look like she took much. I run my fingers over the soft material of the light-blue blouse she wore that day at the station.

That day will forever be seared into my brain.

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