Page 43 of Keeping You

She pushes up, sitting straight on the blanket before looking back at me. She doesn’t say anything as she makes her way to the pond, stepping into the cool water. I sit on the blanket and watch her, allowing her to process everything. When she comes back, she sits beside me and slides her panties back on under her dress.

I grab the picnic basket I brought and start unpacking it. She silently accepts the bottle of water I hand her. We quietly eat, enjoying the sound of the surrounding nature. I know we need to talk about this. I can’t let her just fixate on this and ignore it. I know this probably means something completely different to her than it did for me, but for me, it was finally being able to touch the woman I have lusted over—loved—for the last two years.

“So, we should probably talk,” I say.

She looks my way but doesn’t say anything, choosing to look back at the pond. We watch as a duck flies by before landing on the surface of the water. She stares at it more intently than necessary. She’s avoiding this.

“Hannah,” I say.

She looks back at me and says, “What’s there to say? I got caught up in the moment, that’s it.”

Her words stab me in the gut. I mask my face, hoping I don't show how they affect me. “Okay, if that’s how you feel.”

“Grayson, what more can it be? In less than sixty days, we’ll be divorced. It was a moment of weakness. I needed release, and you were offering assistance.”

I nod, not sure what else to say. We finish our lunch in silence, and I pack up the basket.

“I’ll let you relax until dinner. It should be done at 6 p.m.,” I say before I walk back to the house, leaving her there.

I’m a broody bastard when I get back, and I know it. Hannah has been messing with my fucking head for years. I thought we were finally getting somewhere, but I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. She used me for an orgasm and ignored me afterwards like it was nothing. Everyone has looked at me like some fuck boy for years, thinking I only used woman for sex and tossed them to the curb when I was done with them. And yes, I did only have sex with some woman, but I made sure they were fully aware of the situation going into it. But with Hannah, I should have known we were both looking at this situation very differently.

To her, I’m the man who broke her heart years ago and she can never forgive.

To me, she’s the only woman I’ve truly wanted since I was eighteen years old. The only woman I’ve ever truly loved.

Chloe notices my mood when I enter the kitchen and start unloading the picnic basket.

“Didn’t go well, did it?” she asks.

I don’t say anything. What am I supposed to tell my sister?

Oh, by the way, I’m in love with my wife, but she hates my guts and I brought her lunch and she let me finger-fuck her until she called my name and came all over my hand, but then she told me that’s all it was and she still plans on divorcing me.

Yeah, not happening.

“Grayson?” she pushes.

“Don’t want to talk about it, Chlo,” I say.

“I’m your sister, you can tell me.”

“Chlo, not now,” I grit.

My sister and I may get along better now, but she still knows how to push my every button and she proves it right now.

“Grayson, what’s going on with your wife? There’s no way you married some random woman in Vegas, drunk or not. So what’s going on?”

I turn around, throwing my arms to the side. “She’s not some random woman. She’s the woman I told myself two years ago I wasn’t allowed to have, because I know I can’t give her everything. She’s going to want things I’m not sure I can give her, not after Rebecca.”

Chloe’s eyes soften as she looks at me. “Maybe you should talk to Rebecca while you’re here. Maybe it will help you cope. This is not how you deal with all your emotions. I’m not sure you ever fully moved on, Grayson. If you want your marriage with Hannah to work, I think it’s time you face the past.”

I know she’s right. The only way I can move past it all is to revisit it, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do it yet. Chloe knows not to push it any further. She squeezes my arm as she passes me and heads outside. I finish dealing with the picnic basket and head upstairs for a much needed shower to get out of my head.

Hannah barely says a word to me when she gets back. She showers and joins us for dinner. I feel her eyes on me at some points, and I want to reach out and put my hand on her thigh and give it a squeeze, show her I’m here and I’m not freaking out about what happened at the pond, but I don’t.

When we finish eating, Chloe drags Hannah upstairs to get ready for the bar. I help Mom with cleanup and I know she’s itching to ask me questions. This is the first time we’ve been alone since we arrived.

Mom is drying a plate as she says, “Hannah seems like a lovely girl.”

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