Page 83 of Keeping You

I shake my head.

“When you’re ready, you should. Knowing that I have Daniel in my corner on the hard days is my saving grace.”

She sits back in her chair, and we finish our coffees before we leave the café. Outside, she hugs me and I wrap my arms around her tight. This hug is more healing than I thought it would be. This hug feels like I may be able to put the past aside and move on, not forgetting it, but not letting it control me anymore.

When we separate, she squeezes my arms and says, “Take care of yourself, Grayson.”

“You, too.”

I turn and walk back to my car, each step away from the café making me feel lighter.

CHAPTER 30

Hannah

Grayson’s weird when he gets back from the store. When I look at his eyes, it looks like he’s been crying, but I don’t know why. When Chloe gets home, she takes one look at her brother and her eyes widen. She knows something.

Melanie and I make dinner, and it’s nice that I can fall into the same rhythm we had a few weeks ago. It’s nice to be at this table surrounded by people who all love and care for each other. Realizing these people are my family has been healing in ways I didn’t know I needed. Cutting out my mom didn’t leave the void I always thought it would. I think the reason it took me so long to do it was because I always thought that, even though we weren’t close, finally saying I wasn’t putting up with the toxic behaviour anymore meant I’d feel like I was missing something I could never get back. I was wrong. All she did was cause me stress and unhappiness. Being surrounded by Grayson’s family has showed me I have everything I need.

After dinner, I curl up on the back deck with a blanket and book while Grayson spends some time with his dad. I must have fallen asleep, because I’m woken up when Grayson lifts me out ofthe chair to carry me upstairs and place me in the bed. I snuggle into my pillow as he covers me with the blanket before climbing in behind me and wrapping his arms around me.

In the morning, Grayson is waiting for me in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and a serious but hesitant expression. Micky is sitting beside him, his head resting on Grayson’s thigh, like he’s offering him support. I scratch the top of his head before taking a seat across from them.

“Good morning,” I say, accepting the coffee from him.

“Good morning. I was hoping I could take you somewhere today,” he says.

I nod. “Okay. Like the waterfall?”

He shakes his head. “No, but it’s important to me.”

I place my coffee on the table and take his hand. “Grayson, of course, I’ll go. Let me just go get dressed and we can leave.”

I push up from my chair, and he catches my wrist. “Finish your coffee, and I’ll make us some breakfast. Then we can go.”

Worry fills his eyes, and I can tell he’s stalling for some reason, but I nod and sit back down. He moves around the kitchen and makes us omelettes, just like he does back home, and we eat together in silence. When we finish, I quickly change and meet him at the back door.

We load into Grayson’s car, and he pulls away from the house, but he doesn’t go down the driveway, instead he takes a right between the fence and the garage and drives down a dirt road I never paid much attention to. He drives for a bit before he stops in front of a gate. He leaves the car wordlessly and opens it before driving through, stopping to make sure he closes it before we continue. The drive is slow and bumpy as he navigatesaround the potholes. On our left is trees that separate their property from the neighbours while the right side is open fields. A creek runs through part of it, horses stopping to drink from it.

After five minutes, Grayson pulls into a field and parks twenty metres away from a lone white oak. It’s large, probably thirty metres tall. Grayson takes a deep breath before getting out of the car. I follow behind him as he reaches into the back to grab something. We meet at the front of the car, and he’s holding a bouquet of flowers and a blanket tucked under his arm. He takes my hand, and we walk up to the tree.

As we get closer, I can see a small section has a collection of old flowers. When we reach the tree, Grayson squeezes my hand before placing the flowers on the ground and running his fingers over something that’s carved into the bark.

We love you. 3-16

I give Grayson space, knowing this place is important to him. He hangs his head for a minute, and then he takes my hand and lays the blanket a few paces away before he sits down. I sit beside him, and we look out across the expansive field.

“Rebecca and I dated in high school,” he says, breaking the silence.

I don’t say anything, wanting to give him the opportunity to continue.

“We started dating in tenth grade, and it was a whirlwind. It was teenage love. That naive love when you know nothing of the world. It was a couple weeks after Christmas during twelfth grade when she told me she was pregnant. I was scared shitless, but I was also so excited about starting a family. I knew we were still so young, but we loved each other and we were committed to doing everything we could to give our baby the life they deserved. We told our parents, and they weren’t stoked becauseof our age, but they were all supportive, agreeing to be there through the whole thing, helping how they could. I was going to switch my university to online and do classes at night and find a job in town during the day. Once we graduated, we were going to find a tiny little house to move into, and we were going to raise our baby.”

He brings his legs up and rests his arms on his knees, his eyes still trained on the horizon, not once turning to look at me. He sighs heavily and continues.

“I had just gotten home with my dad after working at the shop when she called. When I answered, she was sobbing. I could barely understand what she was saying. All I managed to get was that she was bleeding. I rushed to my car and drove straight to her house. Her parents weren’t home. I rushed inside and found her in the bathroom on the floor. She was crying so hard she was hyperventilating. It was when I got her to breathe normally that I noticed all the blood.”

He wipes at his tears, and I’m unsure of what to do. Do I comfort him or let him continue? When he wipes at his tears again, I say fuck it and sit up on my knees and shuffle towards him. I use my thumb to wipe at his tears before wrapping my arms around his left arm and leaning into his side. His body relaxes slightly as he exhales, and his right hand finds mine and he grips it tightly.

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