Page 84 of Keeping You

“She was having a miscarriage,” he whispers, and my heart drops. I knew where this was going from how he was talking and my medical background, but that doesn’t make it hit any less hard. My own tears gather as I feel the pain my husband has kept bottled up for so many years.

He takes a minute to gather himself and continues. “I rushed her to the hospital in town. It’s small, but they were able to help her. They explained what was happening, and I held her as shecried in my arms. We both cried. The baby wasn’t planned but was so wanted.”

He rubs the heels of his hands in his eyes.

“The doctors watched her for a bit but eventually released her, telling her she could expect cramping and bleeding for a few hours, but it should subside eventually. They kept saying that there was nothing we could have done, and at the time, my brain just couldn’t comprehend how something so horrible could happen. I took her home, and her parents were there. I was the one who had to explain to them what happened. I practically lived at their house for the next few weeks. I stayed in the guest bedroom, but I refused to leave Rebecca. We came out here, one of our favourite places, and carved into this tree a reminder of our baby.

“It was hard. Rebecca became a shell of herself. She wasn’t the bright, vibrant girl I had fallen in love with. She kept apologizing to me for losing the baby. She kept saying she had failed me, and no matter how many times I’d tell her she didn’t, she wouldn’t believe me.”

He shakes his head as he takes another deep breath, and I know he’s nowhere near done unloading all the trauma he’s kept inside of him all this time. Another tear falls as he continues.

“It was the Monday after Mother’s Day when her dad called me after school. Rebecca had used pills to attempt to take her own life. She left a note apologizing to her parents and me, saying that she couldn’t go on knowing she had failed me and the baby. But she didn’t fail me. I failed her.”

His tears fall slowly as he continues staring out in front of him. I run my hand through his hair, showing him I’m here for him but giving him the time he needs. He leans into my touch, and my heart jumps in my chest, knowing he’s finding some sort of comfort from my touch, as he recounts probably the most traumatic thing he’s ever experienced. The wind blows through,lightly rustling the branches of the tree and my hair. Grayson’s chest rises as he takes a deep breath, like he’s letting the wind take away some of the weight he’s been carrying.

“I saw Rebecca yesterday. We sat and had coffee and talked, like really talked, for the first time since she was admitted to the hospital that night. I’d been avoiding her for years. She was the reason I hadn’t been coming home a lot and why when I did visit, my trips were short. Seeing her and knowing I had failed her all those years ago was devastating. Failing her was why I had decided that love and relationships and kids weren’t for me. I still don’t think that kids are for me.”

He turns and faces me for the first time since sitting down.

“That’s why I let you get away after you walked in on Samantha kissing me. I knew I couldn’t give you everything you wanted and needed. I figured it was better to let you go before either of us got too attached.”

He reaches forward and tucks one of the wind-blown strands behind my ear. I lean into his touch.

“I knew then you were someone I could fall madly, deeply, and completely in love with,” he whispers.

My tears are falling in earnest now as I let the weight of everything he’s told me settle in. I knew before that I love Grayson, but this solidifies it. I decide to wait until a different moment, one that’s about us, to tell him, though. Instead, I encourage him to lower his legs, and I straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tight to me. His arms find their way around my waist, and his entire body relaxes into me.

When he pulls back and looks up at me, I run my hand through his hair again. “What do you need?”

“I think I need to find a therapist when we get back to the city.”

I nod. “Okay, we can do that. What do you need right now?”

He reaches up and cups my face, I lean into his hand as his thumb strokes my cheek. “Right now, I just need you,” he whispers.

I lean forward and press my forehead to his. “You have me.”

We wrap our arms around each other and just hold each other. I’m not sure if he realizes how serious I was when I said he has me, because he does. Body, mind, and soul, I belong to Grayson Maxwell. This marriage may have started with a drunk night in Vegas, and me wanting to get out of it as quickly as possible, but now I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

The rest of the week, we help his parents settle into their new normal. When we leave Thursday morning, I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do with only ten days left in our agreement.

CHAPTER 31

Grayson

I’m dead on my feet when I walk in the door Saturday morning after my Friday night shift. I’m hoping to eat something with Hannah before she heads in for her day shift. I drop my keys on the counter before making my way to the bedroom to find her. The door is cracked as I make my way down the hallway, and her voice filters out.

“The wedding is the day before the end of the ninety days.”

I stop dead in my tracks. I knew the ninety days ended the day after Caleb and Bailey’s wedding. I’ve had the date ingrained in my brain since she agreed to this arrangement. I just didn’t think she was thinking about it as much. I guess I let myself get caught up in everything. I knew she wanted out of this marriage. I’m not sure why I let it get away from me.

“I don’t know what to say,” she says. “It’s all so much.”

I turn around and grab my keys off the counter and head to grab some food.

I’m sitting in Sammy’s Diner waiting for my food when Eliza slides into the booth across from me.

She assesses me for a few moments before she says, “So, when are you going to tell her?”

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