Page 90 of Keeping You

I ride him like my life depends on it and kiss him as if he’s the only air I can breathe. Each kiss is like I’m giving him another piece of my soul, and he hungrily devours them.

I’m close as he trails his lips across my jaw and down my neck. He’s whispering to himself I think, but I hear him. “My wife. Mine. My fucking wife.”

His possessive words send me over the edge. I bite my hand, trying to conceal the sounds he’s pulling from me. He follows me, biting my shoulder as he comes. He helps me down and rights my panties before he fixes himself.

Before we leave, he tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear and kisses me softly. We pop into the washroom before returning to the reception. I guess now I just need to make sure Grayson is on the same page I am.

Grayson’s not in bed when I wake up in the morning. I make my way into his home office, hoping to find him there. When I see he’s not, I make my way to his desk, taking in the degrees he has framed on the walls and the few family photos he has in here. I sit in his chair, trying to feel and see what he does when he’s in here. There are two stacks of papers lying on the desk. My eyesscan the first page of the stack on the left. In bold writing, it reads:

CONTRACT OF EMPLOYMENT BETWEEN

Thompson Memorial Hospital of 8769 5th Avenue, Toronto, ON L5J 6K9

AND

Grayson Randall Maxwell of 3005 - 481 Smithe Street, Vancouver, BC V5L 4N8

My heart drops. I can’t read any further. Is Grayson planning on leaving me and moving across the country? I thought we had finally got to a good place and things were going well, but I guess I was wrong. I shouldn’t be surprised as I haven’t told him that I love him and want this relationship. This marriage. Sitting in his chair as thoughts race through my mind, my eyes catch on the second stack of documents.

DISSOLUTION OF THE MARRIAGE OF GRAYSON RANDALL MAXWELL AND HANNAH MARIE SMITH

A lone tear I didn’t realize was there falls down my face, and I wipe at it furiously. I take a deep breath, but all it does is make the tears fall in earnest. I’ve never cried over a man before, but I’ve also never fallen in love with anyone the way I have Grayson. He promised that after the ninety days, he’d sign the papers and give me the freedom I wanted. I never thought I’d have this kind of reaction to seeing these papers. I thought I’d be happy or excited. I’d be getting what I’ve wanted this whole time, but he’s worked to show me he’s not the douchebag I thought he was. He’s just as damaged as me and let it get in the way. I guess I should be happy that he always intended to keep his word, andit just breaks my heart, even more, knowing we missed out on being with each other for so long because of someone else and our own trauma that we needed to deal with. But I’m happy that he did exactly what he set out to do. He showed me that, despite our past, we can work.

Now, it’s my turn to show him I’m so head over heels in love with him and I don’t want to end our marriage. It might not have happened the way I always envisioned, but he’s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m choosing him as my family. Whether kids are in our future or not. I want him. I’d rather live a life without children of my own and be with him than end up with someone else and a huge family.

Grayson Randall Maxwell is my person. He’s become the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last before I go to bed. I want to share the good and the bad with him.

I know I need to rectify this. Grayson deserves to know he’s loved unconditionally and that he’s my first choice. My only choice.

I pull my phone out and do a quick internet search and make a few phone calls. I push up from the chair and leave his office resolute in my decision.

CHAPTER 34

Grayson

Ihad to get out of the apartment this morning. I needed time to get my head on straight to be able to talk to Hannah about what we’re going to do now that the ninety days are up. I stay out until almost dinner time, trying to grapple with everything. I want her to have the freedom to do whatever she wants. I need whatever happens to be her choice.

Walking into the apartment, I drop my keys on the kitchen counter and see Hannah sitting at the dining table with three stacks of papers.

I smile and say, “Hey.”

She smiles back, but it’s weak. “We need to talk.”

My stomach drops. Those are not words anyone in a relationship wants to hear, and I know now that our ninety days are up, she’s likely going to ask for the divorce. I sigh and make my way towards her.

As I get closer to the table, I see that two of the stacks are the divorce papers I had drawn up so that when Hannah asked for them, we could make this as quick and easy as possible, and the employment contract from Thompson Memorial, because Iknow once those divorce papers are signed, I can’t stay here. I need to get as far away from Hannah as possible. I can’t be in the same province, let alone the same city as her, and not be able to call her my wife.

She notices my gaze caught on the papers and says, “I found these in your office today.”

I grip the back of my neck and take a seat beside her. “I had the divorce papers drawn up for when the ninety days were up.”

“And the employment contract?” she asks.

I meet her gaze, needing her to see the truth in my next words. “I can’t live in this city and not be able to call you my wife. I can’t stand the chance of seeing you at group events and not being able to hold your hand or walk up and kiss you just because I can. I can’t watch you date other people while I’m still in love with you. It would be like ripping my heart out of my chest and watching someone take a meat tenderizer to it.”

Her eyes remain on me, and I feel her willing more words out of me, and like everything else, her wish is my command.

“Spitfire, you’re everything to me. Losing you is not something I want, but I love you enough to prioritize your happiness over my own. I’d rather suffer every day for the rest of my life and know that you’re happy than force you into a situation I know you don’t want. You indulged me with this agreement. Being able to call you my wife has been the best thing in my life. Letting you go will be hard, but I’ll do anything for you.”

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