Page 36 of Keeping You

The only other person who understands how I feel is Rebecca, but after everything, I don’t think I can go back and talk to her. I can’t be the catalyst of another breakdown. I can’t watch her go through all of that again. My parents were always supportive. They were there for me through all of it, but they didn’t experience it the way that I did. The way Rebecca did. As much as I love my parents, they’re not the people I can turn to for this. I can’t turn to Hannah either.

Anyone who watches me sees someone playful who cracks jokes and gives his friends shit. Between the hospital, my friends, and hockey, I’m always surrounded by people, but a couple years ago, it really hit me that I’m lonely. Once I stopped using random women to fill my time to distract me, it was like a sucker punch to the gut. The first time I attempted to flirt with someone after the incident with Hannah, it made my stomach turn. I tried to push past it. I knew Hannah wouldn’t give me the time of day again, so I figured why not go back to my life before when I distracted myself from the pain and loneliness. I never got past a chaste kiss with a woman. The fact that my last sober kiss wasn’t with Hannah kills me. If I was someone else, I might turn to alcohol, but after seeing the way it affects people and their families, it’s not something I could do.

Hannah eventually falls asleep, and I slowly move myself from under her and carry her to the room. Seeing her curled up in my bed pulls at my heart. I want to see her like this every day for the rest of my life. She looks so peaceful, in a way she’s never looked while awake. I tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear and barely stop myself from kissing her forehead.

I quietly leave the room and make my way back to the couch, settling under a blanket with her book before I finally pass out.

CHAPTER 13

Hannah

Ispend the next two weeks anxious out of my mind. I told Mom I wouldn’t be at her July 1 party because I was going with Grayson to his parents, and she wasn’t happy at first. Then I asked how I should explain to her friends that I didn’t go with my husband to visit his family because she was having a party. She relented after that. All the girls have said is,Oh, it will be good for you. You need to get away from the city and your mom. Give him a chance. You never know, he might surprise you. At the very least, you can get some embarrassing stories from his childhood.The last one from Zoey did make me feel a little better.

Nothing has made the anxiety go away, though. I’m going to drive six hours east to a town I’ve never visited to meet the parents of the husband I don’t want. How could this turn out positively? I’ve never really been out of the city. I have no idea what to pack, or what I’m supposed to do while we’re there. My understanding is that his parents still work. Does that mean just the two of us in his parents’ house by ourselves, with very littleto do? At least being here, I can leave and go hang out with the girls. There, I’ll know no one.

I throw myself onto the bed beside my open suitcase. Why did I agree to this? Because my mom is crazy and I want to avoid her party and being cornered about how I’ve embarrassed her by not letting her be at my wedding and make a big to-do of it.

Thanks, Mom.

“Looks productive,” comes Grayson’s voice from the doorway.

I peek my head up and over the side of my suitcase and glare. “I’m going to a town I know nothing about. I have no idea what to pack.”

He grins at me. That fucking grin drives me crazy. It simultaneously irritates me and makes me want to take off my panties. That grin is what pulled me in the first time. I drop back onto the bed, not wanting to look at it any more. I listen to his footsteps draw closer until his shadow is looming over me.

“What do you want to know?” he asks.

“Well, what am I supposed to wear? What are we going to do while there?” I throw my hands up. “I don’t know, everything and nothing,” I groan.

“Bring a variety. You’ll want some shorts, some pants, nights get cold. Maybe a dress or two. I’m sure Mom will want to take you out with my sister. If you have some boots, I’d bring those. It can get dusty and dirty. Bathing suit for the lake. As for what we’ll do, that’s up to you, but I’d bring some books for the downtime.”

That’s surprisingly helpful. I pop my head up, and he’s still standing at my feet. He reaches a hand out, and I take it as he helps pull me up. When I’m on my feet, he holds my hand for a few seconds longer than necessary. His eyes are glued to the connection, and mine lock onto the same place. When heremoves his hand, I don’t like the sense of disappointment that washes through me.

He takes a step back and grips the back of his neck. “I’m going to finish packing. I’d like to leave at 6 a.m. tomorrow. I don’t want to get stuck in any traffic.”

I nod and watch him walk out of the room. I step into the closet and grab the clothes I think I’ll need, filling my suitcase before grabbing some books and putting those in. I’ll wait until the morning to put my bathroom items in. I zip the bag and drag it off the bed then climb under the covers.

I was in a reading slump and asked the girls for some recommendations. I should have read the blurb for this one before I started, because of course my friends sent me a small town, enemies-to-lovers, but the book is too good to DNF. I settle in, determined to finish it and move on to something completely different for the drive tomorrow.

When I first started working as a nurse, I worked the morning shifts, which has made it easy for me to get going in the mornings, even at 5 a.m. I do my full morning getting ready routine before loading my toiletries into my suitcase. I stand in the doorway, going through my mental list to make sure I have everything, when something dusts over my hand that’s holding the handle of my suitcase. Grayson offers me a sleepy smile, grabs the bag from me, and rolls it down the hall. Deciding that if I’ve forgotten anything I’ll just purchase it when we get there, I join him in the kitchen. He passes me a cup of coffee and a protein bar.

“It’s nothing fancy. I figured we could stop in a couple hours for something better.”

I nod and take the items. Taking a sip of the coffee, I have to hold back my moan. How does this man do it? My coffee is made perfectly. Cream, sugar, and a hint of vanilla. I wish Grayson would stop doing these nice things for me. Between bringing me coffee and breakfast when he comes back from a run, carrying me to bed when I fall asleep on the couch, and standing up for me to my mom, he’s chipping away at the view I’ve held of him for so long. I can’t forget about the past, but maybe I can move on from it and be civil. I guess time will tell.

We load the car, and Grayson gets us on the highway heading east. He lets me hook my phone up to the car stereo, and I look out the window as we drive. After two hours, Grayson pulls into a parking lot outside a local diner in the last major town before we’re driving through the mountains. He holds the front door open for me, and we make our way to a booth in the corner. It’s pretty quiet inside, which doesn’t surprise me; it’s 8 a.m. on a Wednesday morning. I browse the menu and order while the pretty brunette waitress eye-fucks Grayson. He orders a plate of pancakes with eggs and bacon and hands the menu to her, giving her no attention outside of placing his order.

“So, tell me about Willow Valley,” I say.

He plays with the coffee cup between his hands as he talks. “It’s your stereotypical small town. Everyone knows everyone’s business, but they’d give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. They rally around people in need.”

I nod and stir my coffee. “What do people do?”

“It’s summer, so you’ll find the kids around the lake, horseback riding, or at the local ice cream shop. There aren’t any major stores. It’s all mom-and-pop shops run by the locals, but you can get pretty much everything you need. For the stuff you can’t find, it’s about an hour’s drive to the closest city with a Walmart. There’s one school for all the kids, but it’s been updated and expanded over the years.” He taps hisfingers against the table and releases a deep breath. “As soon as we arrive in town, everyone will know, so don’t be surprised if someone approaches you and knows your name. The town doesn’t get a lot of tourists, and the tourists that do come are typically regulars that come every year.”

I nod. The idea of a small town, getting away from the fakeness of the city, appealed to me for a bit in high school Everyone in the city is trying to be someone they’re not, pretending that they have more than they do. It wasn’t until I met Liz my junior year and then Zoe and Olivia our first year of university that I decided to stay after graduating. They showed me not everyone is fake. My friend group may be small, with the three of them and now Bailey, but I have no problems with that. I want those ride-or-die friends I know will be there with me for anything and everything. I’ve always said, I’d rather have a few friends I trust with my life than a large group of friends I can’t rely on.

“Is there anything I should know for when we get there? Anything I should avoid?” I ask.

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