Page 41 of Taming You

“Sleep well, Zo. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She yawns again. “You, too.”

CHAPTER 15

Zoey

Ihave no idea what it’s going to be like seeing Matt this morning after everything that happened this weekend. After my breakdown on Saturday, Henry called a family dinner so we were all under the same roof. We haven’t done that in a while, and it was nice to see everyone all in one place, but as always, the boys found different ways to push each other’s buttons. If Maggie wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had started throwing dinner rolls at each other.

During dinner, it really hit me that I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. I don’t want to be living with my brother in five or ten years or be sitting around the table listening to my brothers talk about their latest accomplishments when I’ve done nothing.

I do my best to plaster on a smile as I enter the rink and make my way towards where I know Matt will be. He’s bouncing Jayden when I round the corner, and they both light up when they see me. That is single-handedly the best feeling in the world, watching someone be excited to see you. I just wish Matt wanted to see me for reasons more than just our friendship.

Jayden reaches for me as I approach, and I take him from Matt. He babbles at me like he’s got the most interesting story in the world to tell me.

“Oh really? That sounds so fun,” I say to him, and Matt smiles at me.

“Thanks for coming.”

I nod. “Of course. This little guy seems super awake today.”

He chuckles. “Little man got a lot of sleep last night. He was rearing to go this morning as soon as he woke up.”

I tickle his tummy. “Sounds like we’ve got to work some energy out of you, little man.”

He giggles, and little spit bubbles form at the corner of his mouth.

“I’ve got to go check on the kids,” Matt says and pauses before leaning down and kissing my cheek, whispering, “I’ll see you after,” across my skin. Goosebumps erupt down my neck and arms.

I watch as Matt makes his way to the dressing room before I dig into the diaper bag and pull out some stimulation toys to play with Jayden. He is bubbly and full of energy this morning. Thank God for the coffee Matt brought me, because I’m not sure I’d be able to keep up with him without it.

My stomach is growling by the time Matt finishes coaching and we head to breakfast. I love that we have a routine, something that’s just ours. No one else knows about Matt’s coaching, or that every Monday and Wednesday morning I get to spend time with Jayden and then share breakfast with Matt. It’s all ours.

I’m surprised Maggie’s home when I walk in the front door and find her sitting at the kitchen island. She smiles at me as I walk past her to the coffee maker and pour myself a cup.

“Early morning,” she says.

“Yeah, just ran out and met a friend.”

She gives me a look that tells me she suspects it was more, but thankfully, doesn’t push. I pull out the stool beside her and take a seat, wondering how to go about what I want to talk to her about.

She finishes something on her computer and closes it, turning to face me and giving me her full attention.

“What’s up?” she asks. Maggie has always been good at telling when I’ve got something on my mind. She was someone I turned to a lot in my later teen years.

“How did you finally settle on what you wanted to do?” I ask.

“You mean working with the foundation?” she asks, and I nod. “Well, I always enjoyed charity work growing up. My parents and I often volunteered around the holidays. As I got older, giving back to those in need when I was so fortunate was something that interested me. I did the research on what types of degrees I could get to work with non-profits and settled on a business degree. Are you not looking forward to being a lawyer?”

I’ve only told Matt I’m not sure I want to be a lawyer. Admitting it to Maggie, which also means admitting it to Henry, makes me feel like a failure, and shame wants to overtake me. My skin feels itchy, and I suddenly feel extremely warm. I pull at the neckline of my shirt and take a deep breath, but it doesn’t seem to help.

Maggie grabs my free hand and squeezes. It pulls me back from the panic that wants to take over.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” she says softly. “You’re allowed to change your mind.”

Her words have tears gathering behind my eyes.

“I don’t want to disappoint my brothers.” My words come out soft and barely there, but I know she heard them when she squeezes my hand again.

---