Page 6 of Taming You

He sits back on the couch, tipping his head back, and stares at the ceiling as a long breath escapes him. “Relieved, I guess, is the first feeling. There’s no longer this is he–isn’t he. I know he’s mine. I’m also worried I’m going to fail him.” He looks at me and puts a hand up, stopping me as I open my mouth. “And yes, I know, Zo, I’m great with Cate. And I love her, but she’s my niece. This whole time I’ve known I get to watch and play with her when Liv needs help and I wouldn’t be screwing her up. She’d be going home to loving parents who know what they’re doing. Liv and Josh had months to plan for Cate. I just got a baby dropped on my doorstep. I’m going to do everything I can to be the best dad to Jayden and give him everything I can in life, but I’m scared shitless.”

Matt’s fear is palpable. I can see it in his face and feel it in his body language. I reach out and squeeze his leg.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, and you better not tell your sister I told you, because I’m not losing best friend status.”

He nods.

“Liv was scared shitless, too, when she found out she was pregnant. Yes, she was so excited, but also, having a kid was a big change. She and Josh had only just gotten together. You had just found out about their relationship the night before. Everything in her life was changing. But she had a great family around her, your parents, you, and Gianna. Josh was so excited. Plus, she had all of us girls. You’ve got all the same people in your corner. You’re going to be a great dad. Believe me, I know something about shitty parents, and you’re not going to be one. I think being so worried you will be is the first sign you should take that you won’t. Shitty parents don’t worry about being shitty parents.”

“Thanks, Zo. It means the world to me you’d say that. I’m not sure what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

He gives my hand a squeeze and runs his thumb over the top of it. That mixed with the look in his eyes has goosebumps scattering up my arm. Spending time with Matt over the last year and a half has been great, except I started to develop feelings for a man I know I can never have. Matt’s always been attractive, but spending one-on-one time with him and seeing parts of him I never did growing up has not helped at all. I always knew he was a protective brother, but I never realized how funny he is, or how when he’s home he likes to curl up on the couch in a pair of sweats with a blanket and popcorn and watch movies.

This last year and a half let me see his serious side, not just his goofball one. But I know he’s not ready to settle down, especially now that he’s had the major responsibility of a child dropped on him. When I said he’ll be a great father, I meant it. I know he will do whatever is necessary to give Jayden the best life possible.

I pull my hand from his and pull them into the sleeves of my cardigan, crossing my legs in front of me. “Yeah, of course.” Looking around him, I check the time on the stove and say, “I should probably head out, it’s getting late.”

He nods and pushes up from the couch, helping me up before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. “Thanks for everything, Zo.”

Nodding against him, I inhale his scent and close my eyes for a second, allowing myself to enjoy the feeling of him being close and the way his cologne envelopes me, before stepping back.

“Let me know when you want to do that family dinner,” I say before making my way to the front door. My hand hovers over the handle for a few seconds as if my brain and heart are debating whether I should really go. My brain wins, and I leave Matt’s apartment.

CHAPTER 4

Matt

Trying to find a date that works for my entire family, Zoey, and me is a pain in the ass. When I press the importance of dinner, we finally settle on Saturday.

Zoey is over every day for at least a couple of hours. I’m not sure how we both manage to go the whole week without seeing Liv, because that never happens. I’ve watched Zoey skirt Liv’s calls when she’s been over, and I’ve done the same, trying to keep all of our communication via text so I can hopefully not reveal anything until I can do it in person.

I’m a ball of nerves as I cook dinner. Finally, believing I have everything ready, I grab Jayden from Zoey. After I got the call from the lab on Sunday, I emailed my boss and took family leave, and I can take federal parental leave so Jayden and I can adjust to our new normal. I’ve picked up on some of his tells, like the way he squirms differently when he’s gassy and I need to help work the bubbles out before he starts screaming, and the look of concentration he makes before he poops. There is still so much more I need to learn, but knowing those two things no one else does makes me feel better about this situation.

A knock at the door has me on edge. There is no more planning or running through hypotheticals about telling my family. I’m doing this. Zoey’s eyes meet mine as she exhales slowly, and I follow her lead. I nod, and she moves to answer the door. Before pulling it open, she does one last check with me, and when I nod again she pulls it open.

“Zo?” Liv’s questioning voice comes from outside.

“Hey, Liv.”

They hug, and Zoey holds the door open for her and her husband Josh to come inside. Liv takes off her jacket and hangs it up, not even noticing me standing in the kitchen, but Josh does. I’ve never seen him as stunned as he looks right now with his jaw on the ground as he stares at me. Josh and I have been best friends since we were kids. We met in school and bonded and have never looked back. We played hockey together in school, attended Harvard together, play on the same rec hockey team, and now he’s married to my younger sister and the father of my adorable niece. All that to say, I’ve seen Josh in a lot of states, but nothing compares to this.

Liv looks at him and asks, “What’s wrong, babe?” She turns to look at me, and her jaw drops, too.

I smile at them, really out of my comfort zone right now. I guess I should at least be happy they’re the first ones here, because it’s going to be easier to tell them than my parents. I’m not sure how our younger sister Gianna is going to react, though.

“Hey,” I say, and they close their mouths, Liv opening and closing hers a few times, trying to gather herself.

“How about we take a seat,” Zoey says, helping usher them to the table and taking the car seat with Cate from Josh.

As soon as Liv’s ass hits the chair, it’s like she’s magically gathered herself. She looks between Zoey and I before she asks, “Why is there a baby here, and who does he belong to?”

Zoey and I exchange a look that Liv picks up and has her diving into even more questions. “When? How? Why didn’t you say anything? How long have you known?”

Zoey, knowing her best friend as well as I do, places a cup of water in front of her and a hand on her shoulder and says, “Breathe, Liv.”

Liv turns on her. “And when did you find out? Why did you know before me? Why didn’t you tell me? Is this the only secret you’re keeping from me, or are there more?”

Something about seeing Liv interrogate Zoey has me breaking my silence. “Zo only knows because she was here when I found out.”

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