Page 71 of Taming You

“I missed them so much as a kid. I was always wondering why Mommy and Daddy didn’t love me, why they didn’t want to spend time with me. I loved my brothers, I still do, but it was never the same. I was the youngest, so I always wondered what I did to make them never want to be home. I got to see how much your parents love Liv and you and Gi, and all I wanted was that love from my parents.”

Matt pulls me in tighter.

“As I got older, I realized it wasn’t my fault, but it always felt like something was missing. Like I’d never be complete until my parents loved me.”

“Oh, Bug. I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m sorry I never knew you were experiencing all of that. You need to know you’re so loved in the world. You have so many people in your corner.”

A sob leaves me, and he whispers, “Come here.”

I move and straddle his lap as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me so tight it’s as though he’s willing all my fragile little pieces to stay together. I cry into his shoulder, allowing all of this pain to leave me. I can’t remember the last time I cried about my parents. It was probably after my high school graduation. I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t show up for my college or law school graduations. After high school I built this wall to avoid any disappointment and hurt when it comes to them, but it seems as if it only held for so long.

Matt whispers, “You’re so strong,” and, “I’ve got you,” into my ear as he rubs a hand up and down my back. After a few minutes, my crying stops and I just hold him, taking comfort in his arms.

When I hear Jayden through the baby monitor, I’m immediately off his lap and making my way to Matt’s bedroom. “I need baby cuddles,” I say, and Matt nods.

The joy on Jayden’s face when I lean over his crib helps to slowly patch that wall. I make a face as I pick him up, and he giggles. I smell his diaper right away and quickly change him before we join Matt.

“Someone left a little gift when I grabbed him, but he’s all taken care of now and I think we’re ready for some nom-noms.”

Before heading to the living room, I grab a jar of puree out of the cabinet. I give him a partial bottle before I get him settled in his highchair and feed him a few bites. He seems to really love mushy peas, not sure why because that just sounds gross, but you do you, boo.

When he’s done and I’ve burped him, we join Matt on the couch who’s been watching us this whole time. Matt walks his fingers up Jayden’s tummy, and he giggles.

“You’re so good with him,” Matt muses.

“He makes it so easy. If only all kids were as easy as him.”

Matt nods slightly. “Do you want kids?”

I smile. “One day, yeah. I’d love a house full of them. I may have had crappy parents, but I loved growing up with my brothers.” I turn to face him. “Do you want more kids?”

“I did before.” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “But with you? One hundred percent. As many as you want.”

I blush. “A little forward and early to be asking me to give you kids,” I joke.

He grins and shakes his head a little, like he thinks I’m funny. “I’m all in, Zo. I’m not holding anything back. I’m not asking for them now. I just want you to know I’m on the same page.”

“You, Matthew James Carter, are surprising me.”

He strokes my cheek, and Jayden reaches for his hand. We both chuckle before his attention returns to me.

“Only in good ways, I hope.”

I nod. “Only in good ways.”

He places a soft kiss on my lips and takes Jayden from me before lying on the ground with him. I didn’t plan to spend my entire day with them, but that’s exactly what I find myself doing. Playing games and laughing with these two boys who are slowly changing my life.

CHAPTER 28

Matt

Idrop Jayden off with my mom Saturday morning. She wanted to take both Jayden and Cate for the weekend. She loves being a grandma and having both Dad and Gi at home means it’s been pretty easy for her to handle them both. I’m never going to complain if Mom wants to take Jayden. It gives me time to feel a little more human and hopefully get some one-on-one time with Zoey.

I texted her last night asking if I could pick her up this morning. She’s waiting outside when I pull up to the house. I get out and meet her at the front of the car, kissing her before I open the passenger door for her. I got to see her for a brief time on Monday and Wednesday morning, but she couldn’t stay late because she had promised to help Maggie with the gala, so I reluctantly had to drop her off right after breakfast. I never realized how much I could miss a person until Zoey. Of course, I missed Gianna when she went to school in California, but that was different in a way. I love my sisters, but I don’t need to spend every day with them. With Zoey, I want to spend all my free time with her. Even if we’re doing meaningless tasks, I want to be in the same room as her.

She’s so enthralled with the story she’s telling me she doesn’t even notice I’m driving us into Caleb’s neighbourhood. I pull into the driveway of the house and turn the car off, and she finally notices where we are.

“Where are we?” she asks, confused.

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