Page 65 of Bumping into You

His vulnerability in this moment touches my heart. Even though said heart is beating around a million beats per second. His confession changes everything between us. He hasn’t been pretending, but that’s what our agreement was. It was a fake pact to be boyfriend and girlfriend for the duration of the cruise. It wasn’t supposed to turn into something real, something tangible and whole.

Breathe, Gwen, and answer the man. He’s standing there so patiently while you are having an internal freak-out session.

“Gwen, you okay?” he says timidly. He reaches out to touch me but pulls back. Maybe he’s afraid that if he touches me, I’ll make a run for it. But really, I need one of his hugs to help hold me together while I sort through the thousands of emotions ping-ponging their away through me.

“I . . . yes, I’m . . .” I manage to say. Taking a settling breath, I try again. “I’m okay. I just, I wasn’t expecting this. I need time to process everything, time to think about what you just told me.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need, and don’t worry, I’ll still be your fake boyfriend while you are thinking things over. If you need to talk things through, well, you know where to find me. Goodnight, Gwendolyn.” He backs away then enters his room.

The fresh morning breeze sweeps across my skin like a whispered promise of a new day. Last night after Niall went to his room, his declaration hung in the air, leaving me to navigate the rush of emotions he stirred within me. The weight of his words lingered in his absence as the stars continued to blink in the night sky.

After tossing and turning all night, I get up before the sun, needing a run to clear my head. With each stride, the rhythmic sound of my footsteps harmonizes with the soft hum of the ship’s engines. The track stretches ahead of me, calling to me, inviting me to embrace the solitude of the morning quiet.

As the sun begins to cast its shimmering golden rays over the horizon, I dive into my own feelings and grapple with the echoes of Niall’s declaration. Our shared plan is still an option, but now a second path has emerged, one that gives the hope of possibility. His wish for more floats in the air, inviting me to acknowledge my own heart’s desires.

The image of our shared moments together is vivid with laughter and friendship. Yet beneath it, a whisper of doubt unfurls within me—were those moments truly the unearthing of genuine emotion? Is there more to them than the rules of our deal allow?

Niall’s presence has been a comfort, a constant companionship. His easy charm and friendship are a reflection of the deal we’d made. Can there be more than just friendship? Do the ripples of laughter and the care in his eyes hold a deeper meaning?

According to him, they do.

My stomach flutters as I consider the possibility of us.

What if the rules we’d set for our fake relationship were to blur? Hadn’t they already? In the quiet corners of my heart, the image of Niall takes on a different perspective—not just the fake boyfriend per our deal, but someone who really does make myheart skip a beat. I realize that over the past few days, I’ve been more myself, and because of that, I may be more on board with the idea of us.

Memories surge forward, each the undercurrent of something more. The touch of his hand as he’s steadied me countless times—it carries a weight beyond friendship. Those fleeting glances exchanged during conversations we’d shared—were they glimpses into the unspoken connection we share?

And then the tender forehead touches, the stolen caresses, the confidence I’d gained back just from holding his hand, and that breathtaking kiss. Were these more than just an orchestrated performance for our fake relationship? Do they carry within them the essence of something more? Something genuine?

My breath catches in my throat when I realize that almost every time he’s kissed me, it was just the two of us. No one to put on a show for.

My thoughts dive into the amazing man that Niall is. He came to my rescue before he even really knew who I was. I hadn’t realized how much his genuine care meant to me. How it helped me come back to myself and move past the hurt from Bradley.

I’d tried to push away all those negative emotions that came from Bradley and my breakup. But seeing Bradley on this cruise and realizing he had a fiancée made me have to face our breakup and the role I played in it. I’ve even learned to be happy for Bradley. I’m shocked that I have no resentment toward him and Tammy anymore. They are clearly enamored with each other. Otherwise, why would Bradley have faced his stage fright and done karaoke? Why would Tammy be willing to take on rock climbing when she clearly wasn’t the outdoor adventure type? They clearly love each other. And I’m happy for them, truly happy for them.

Bradley and I, we never had a love like that, did we?Thinking back on it now after seeing them together, I feel like he and Iwere just placeholders for each other. We were never truly happy together. He was someone I enjoyed talking to and doing things with, but not someone I was meant to be with long term. Maybe deep down I’d known that about us. And he was right, there were times that I put work before him. Work was something I truly cared about, something I wanted. Bradley wasn’t.

As for Niall, did he embrace every touch, share each stolen glance and cherish our breathtaking kisses as something more? Based on his declaration last night, I’d have to say yes.

But the question is, do I?

The time has come to unveil the truth within me. Is what is happening between us something more? It’s clear to me that somewhere along the way, Niall worked his way into my closed-off heart, and among the laughter and friendship, real feelings bloomed.

Am I ready to open myself up to another person?

As I finish another lap around the ship, the question is no longer “do I have feelings for Niall,” but rather “am I ready to open my heart to the possibility of heartbreak?”

Can I take that again?

I’ve always been the type to go headfirst into something and figure things out later. Over the past year, that same spunky, go get ’em attitude has morphed into someone more reserved. Less risk-taking.

Am I ready to be that version of myself again? A risk-taker?

Is that version of Gwen gone forever or is she still here, hidden beneath the hurt and ready to break through? In the few days I’ve been on the cruise, it seems like that part of me is coming to light again.

My phone pings with a text from Holly.

Holly

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