Page 53 of Hot Girl Summer

I think back to my first meeting with Danny.

You’re an entitled, sophomoric child who measures her worth from Instagram likes.

Does he still see me that way? Is that the reason why he doesn’t want me?

Iknow I’ve blown it, but I still hold on to the tiniest bit of hope that he doesn’t feel that way about me anymore. I hate to admit it, but I don’t want him to see me the way everybody else does.

“Next we have The Fool and Six of Pentacles. The Fool represents new beginnings and taking a leap of faith. It could be linked to your Six of Pentacles card, which is about helping others and giving back. Acts of charity and donation. I can see you making a living from a spiritual practice, something like teaching yoga, or making crystal jewellery. Something goal-orientated where you can help others in the community to reach their own dreams and aspirations.”

There’s no way Ellie could know about the teaching course, but it’s reassuring to know that I’m taking the right steps for my career.

“One of the great qualities you have is that you are a very real, raw, and down to earth person.”

Ellie takes a deep breath, and points to the next card. It shows a woman bound and blindfolded. “Eight of Swords. I feel like recently you’ve been through quite a tough emotional journey, but you’re learning how to intellectually handle your emotions instead of behaving recklessly to deal with them, which is something that you may have done in the past. We often punish ourselves before others can, but now is the time to take off the blind fold and cut those ties that bind you to limiting thoughts and victim mentality. Now is the time to leave your past behind you and walk away.”

I think about my near-miss with Luke. At the time, I didn’t see it for what it was, but now, with the truth laid out bare in front of me, I can’t ignore it. I’m not all about makeup and selfies, or getting drunk and going home with whatever fuckboy prize has my name on his tongue. How long can I honestly keep up the facade?

I’m growing apart from the girl people perceive me to be. The girl I’ve suppressed for fear of never amounting to anything, or being good enough, is awakening. Sophia and Summer are two completely different people, and Ellie is slowly helping me realise that.

“Finally, we have Ten of Cups. Your happily ever after card. We both know what that means.” She gives me a knowing smile, and before I have a chance to overanalyse that one, she’s shuffling another deck.

“Do you mind if I use my Oracle cards, too? I like to use them to reinforce what the tarot reading has shown,” she says.

“Sure,” I say, and pick another pile.

She lays five more cards out in front of us. “Sagittarius reveals your purity. You are sweet and pure hearted, and more sensitive than you like to admit. I sense that you’ve been going through and dealing with some family issues recently.”

I nod, careful not to give away too much. I think about Kiki, and a lump forms in my throat, but I manage to swallow it down and keep the tears at bay.

“Do you need a minute?”

“I’m fine,” I say.

Fine like the acronym.

Ellie reluctantly continues. “Okay, so moving onto the personality aspect of the cards. Taurus and The Bombshell. It’s probably likely that your path will lead you onto something to do with beauty or physical exercise, which may or may not take you away from Ivy Rose. I just need to add that Taurus and Sagittarius are not good at self control. You have a habit of leading with your emotions, kind of flitting from one extreme to the other. But I can also see you going through a lot of personal growth.”

She points to another card. “Mars. You act on impulse, and have a free-flowing attitude. You pretty much do what you want.”

“I feel attacked,” I say, smirking.

I lean across to take a pull on my drink, and Ellie does the same, then we focus on the cards once again.

“Last one—Spirituality. You have an incredibly healing energy. Whether it be physically or emotionally, I can see you healing others. I feel like this card echoes the Six of Pentacles from earlier. Your calling is in teaching or travelling or doing something spiritual within your life. Living against the norm, like a spiritual, nomad lifestyle. I truly believe that’s where you will find your happiness.”

Ellie takes another sip of her drink, and I down the rest of mine, pleasantly surprised at the accuracy of the reading. Maybe there’s reason to believe in tarot, after all.

“Any questions?”

How do I stop myself catching feelings?I shake my head.

“How did I do?”

“Pretty much nailed it.”

“Really?”

Ellie jumps up like an excited puppy. She’s so adorable.

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