Page 64 of Hot Girl Summer

“I can fully appreciate that it’s a grey area, but you’re separated. Can you honestly tell me this doesn’t feel right?”

Please tell me I’m not alone in this.

“Everything about us feels right,” he says, and I relax.

“Then why does it matter so much? I’m pretty certain after almost two years, she can accept that you’ve moved on.”

My statement is met with silence.

“Do you have kids? Is that it?”

“No, we don’t.”

A huge wave of relief sweeps over me. Oh, thank goodness.

“Do you still love her? Am I just here for a distraction so you can use me? Fulfil some sort of fantasy for sexual gratification and go back to your perfect life?”

“That’s absolutely not it.”

“Then what is it?”

More silence.

“She’s a bully,” he sighs, burying his head in his hands.

An unwelcome pain twists in my gut, and I feel an overwhelming urge to protect him. I wasn’t expecting it, especially asbullytriggers all those emotions that hit when Ryan used it describe me.

“You know people say you can’t see a bad situation when you’re in it, but once you step back, everything becomes clear?”

“From the outside, we gave everybody this illusion that we were the perfect couple. Powerful. Unbreakable. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. After we got married, Belle’s parents loaned me the start-up I needed to set up my business. My parents wanted to help, but they couldn’t because all their money was tied up in property. I paid them back in full as soon as I could, with interest, but it still wasn’t good enough. She would always find a way to bring it up in conversation. Now I realise it was a way to belittle me.”

I shift, folding my legs behind me.

“I started noticing a change when she became partner at her firm. The more she rose to the top, the more she treated me like I was beneath her. Like she resented me for being a lower earner, or something. She started to spend a lot of time away from home. Court cases in London, that sort of thing. We barely said two words to each other, and when we did, it was the same tired, pretentious bullshit. All in the name of keeping up with her social circle. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so incredibly grateful we could afford to live a life of luxury, but for me it’s just as important to have quality down time at home.

“I’m not saying I never loved her, or that she wasn’t my everything once upon a time. But power changed her. Status changed her. I’m not saying I was the perfect husband, either. Nobody’s fucking perfect. But I didn’t throw away my old friends when newer, richer, shinier ones came along. Sometimes once upon a time doesn’t end in happily ever after,” he muses.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” I say, placing a hand on his forearm.

“Over the years, I could feel my confidence gradually being chipped away, bit by bit. She made me feel ashamed for the way I was, and for the things I wanted to explore sexually. I thought there was something wrong with me, so I kept them hidden. But since you bared your fucking soul to me, as you put it, I can’t stop thinking about it. About you.”

“I know it sounds corny, but one day I opened my eyes, and everything started to make sense. Why she never came to any of our gigs. Why she had never been supportive of the band. Once we hashed things out and agreed to separate, I realised that she was ashamed of me, and she resented me for borrowing the money from her parents. My mind started replaying snippets of things she had said in the past. She always used to say that music was a waste of time because it’s not a real career. All I wanted was for her to support us, because it made me happy. Do you remember when I told you about Ollie?”

I nod, and Danny swallows a lump in his throat.

“That wasn’t the whole story. I went to her for advice—I mean, she’s a solicitor, it’s her job. I didn’t know what else to do, I was so scared he was going to harm himself. She managed to convince me that there was no other way than to turn down the contract. It took years for me to realise that I’d been manipulated. I could have paid for Ollie’s private care; I could have helped him.”

“You did help him. I mean, I don’t know him well, but April seems to really like him. He probably has you to thank for that. You can’t throw money at something and expect all your problems to be solved, it doesn’t work like that,” I say.

“Some things do work like that.”

I shoot him a pointed look. Seems I never tire of teasing his middle-class lifestyle.

“So why separate when you had grounds for divorce.”

“When I told her I wanted out, she managed to convince me otherwise. Apparently, that’s called gas lighting. Who knew? I’m actually pretty ill-informed for a smart guy. God forbid I tarnish her reputation, or drag her precious name through the mud. Ultimately, that’s the reason we decided to separate. By the time I changed my mind, and realised what she was doing, what she had been doing all along, we were too far into the separation. It’s too late to file for a divorce; we only have a few weeks left.”

“I can’t believe someone would do that to someone.”

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