Page 81 of Cartel King

“Did you tell him your real one then?” Luciana definitely doesn’t trust me.

“No. As much as I enjoyed our walks, I swore off relationships. My ex-husband never physically abused me. But there was a lot of emotional abuse. He’d tell me he wouldn’t talk to me for an entire weekend if I said something he didn’t like. He’d ignore me when I spoke to him if he didn’t feel like answering. He wouldn’t make friends with my friends and made me feel guilty when I built a life without him because he refused to engage in anything that involved our boys and me. He preferred gaming. For the first ten years of our marriage, he was so addicted to his video games I feared interrupting him. Friends would say I should just throw them out. I couldn’t think of many things scarier than how he would’ve reacted to that. I was so scared of pissing him off if I bumped him in my sleep that I slept on my hands for years. He stopped asking how my day went within a couple months of getting married. It was one of the things that made me fall for him because none of the guys I dated before him asked.”

I need a moment to push aside the resentment threatening to flare my anger into a wildfire.

“He’d belittle the work I did outside of the family business, even calling it stupid and pointless. He’d blame me for his boredom when he did nothing but laze around the house on the weekends and sleep because he had nothing better to do. There was always stuff he could have helped with—something to clean, a meal to cook, laundry to put away. If he did dishes, he needed a Medal of Honor. He complained about everything and everyone. I couldn’t have a conversation with him if he was driving because he’d bitch about everyone else on the road. If we were on the phone, he’d cut me off mid-sentence to complain. I was so lonely in that marriage. I vacillated between hating him when we argued and not caring if he lived or died when we weren’t. I stayed because of my boys. If we divorced, I feared they’d be worse off if they were with just him when they’d inevitably go to his place. I feared he’d remarry, and the woman wouldn’t care about them. I worried and waited for years.”

I swallow because I’m laying shit bare I haven’t told Enrique, but I think his sisters—by blood and by marriage—will understand better, even if they’ve never been in this position.

“My boys are adults now. They have lives of their own, and they’re financially independent. I had no reason to stay, so I didn’t. Some of my wounds have healed, but they’re tender when tugged at. Others are only scabbed over. I swore I didn’t want another relationship because I wanted freedom. What I didn’t want was my heart breaking all over again. I didn’t want to commit to Enrique. We had a nasty argument because I wouldn’t agree we’re more than I wanted to admit. Because I didn’t want to commit, I kept my secrets until I couldn’t keep them anymore.”

“You sound like you’re more than a woman who married a Vizzini.” Margherita’s voice is soft, but her gaze is sharp as the blade she’s ready to stick in me if I misstep.

“I’ve told Enrique this already, and he’s probably telling your sons right now. I was Tommaso Vizzini’s accountant. The one who handled the private books when other people messed up his transactions.”

I stare at them because that’s as close to admitting what I did when I extorted the shit out of people or coerced them into paying money they didn’t want to or didn’t have.

“Women are far superior to men in most things. Their egos are just too fragile for most of them to learn that. But Tommaso knows I have better aim than even an Olympian. When it became my life or my husband’s, I learned to bend my morals. When he held my sons’ lives ransom, I let my morals burn. Only one of my sons is active, but they trained the other two. When I left my husband, I made Tommaso swear in writing in front of witnesses that he released me. He reneged and held my sons over my head, so I did one last job. It put me near Alejandro. He would have killed me before I took your son from your family, Catalina.”

“You would have left your sons without a mother?”

“I’ve taken other women’s sons from them and not heard a peep from my conscience. But I couldn’t do that to your family. I took my chances by letting Alejandro live. All I’ve ever wanted on those missions was to get home to my boys. The last time wasn’t any different, but losing your parent is life’s normal path. Losing your child should never happen. I will put my sons ahead of everyone, and Enrique knows that. But intentionally harming your family harms Enrique in a way I can’t stomach thinking about. I believe he feels the same way about your sons and me. My sons will always be Vizzinis, and your sons will always be Diazes. Right now, I’m neither. I plan to move forward, not look back.”

They listen to me, and like proper syndicate wives, I have no clue what they’re thinking.

“Why not end things when you found out who my brother is?” Luciana’s left eye narrows a sliver, and I know she wants to catch me in a lie.

“Because who he is doesn’t bother me. I’ve been around men like him my entire life. I know better than most syndicate women what the men do and what their businesses are. I told Enrique the truth about why I can accept it without telling him how I knew I could. Enrique was born into his role. He carries a heavier burden than most people can imagine. The only one in this house who will ever know is Pablo. The rest of us can only guess or assume. More than just your family relies on him. He’s responsible for thousands of people. What he wants or doesn’t want doesn’t matter if it doesn’t support the Cartel. His duty is to them beforeanythingelse. His duty is to you beforeanyoneelse. If your family is weak, then everything falls apart. If any of you walk away, you’re as good as dead. You have to remain in this world to survive. I knew the day I filed my divorce papers I would make myself disappear. I’m a full-time author. It was easy to create my identity as Elodie McCann because I’ve been writing novels under that name for years. People already believed it was my real one because I couldn’t let my readers discover I was a Mafia wife, daughter, and mother. When I go in public with Enrique, I lose that anonymity immediately. Between my past and Enrique’s life, I’m in more danger than I’ve ever been. But your brother is worth that risk. I didn’t think I could care about someone like this again. There’s nothing I won’t do to protect him and protect what we have.”

I draw a breath. I revealed far more than I probably should have, but I want them to know I get it. I get the life. I get the danger I bring Enrique. I get the danger he brings me. I get I’m not giving this up now that I’ve accepted it.

“You’re telling us more than our brothers, sons, or nephews would.” Luciana assesses me, and I think the ice is chipping.

“It’s nothing you wouldn’t overhear in bits and pieces or figure out on your own. I’d rather just tell you.”

“What happens the next time Tommaso wants something from you?”

I lock gazes with Margherita. “He knows I’ll put a bullet through his skull before I do another job for him.”

My gaze shifts to Luciana, then Catalina. It wouldn’t shock me if these women have killed before. You wouldn’t know it from how they were around the men. Not even when Catalina stepped in front of her son. But it’s there in their eyes now.

“I’m not part of your family, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But you’re important to me because you’re important to Enrique. My loyalty is to my sons before everything else. After that, it’s to Enrique. If it’s between a Vizzini and a Diaz who’s in this house right now, I pray you’ll give me shelter when the Vizzinis come looking for me.”

The women look amongst themselves before Margherita speaks on their behalf. “Your sons are under our protection, too.”

“Thank you.”

They’ll kill for my children, and they’ll make sure the men in this house know the price they’ll pay if they won’t kill for my sons too.

As I push back my chair, Luciana fires the parting shot.

“Fool us, and you’ll wish it’sourmen who find you.”

They won’t kill me, but I’m not one of them.

Chapter Sixteen

Ellie

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