Page 24 of Single Dad Dilemma

He waits a moment then says, “So, we’re on the same page then? That what happened last time shouldn’t have ever happened?”

“We’re in agreement, Carson,” I tell him but feel a pain in my chest as I say the words. “I mean, I had a great time, and I’d love to do it again and again, but Margo is what’s important. We need to do what’s best for her, right?” I look over at him and he’s staring at me.

“Right,” he says, but he sounds as unsure as I do.

“But…” I start, I don’t know what words are going to come out of my mouth or even how to stop them. I think it’s too late. “One more time can’t hurt much, right?”

His eyes light up with a hot fire. “I don’t see how it could,” he says, lost in the same desires that I am. We both stand up at the same time and then we’re crashing into one another. His lips are on mine, and my arms are wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands land on the small of my back, moving up my shirt. Suddenly, they fall down to my ass, and he picks me up against him, carrying me into the house. We kiss as he takes the stairs two at a time. He kicks open his bedroom door and then I’m lying across the bed.

He rips his shirt over his head and then his body is on mine, his hot skin nearly burning me as he works to remove the clothing between us. Without warning, he thrusts into me, and I’m filled unbelievable full. We both let out a relieved moan at the sensation.

“Fuck, Violet,” he whispers against my skin. “You’re so perfect. You feel too good to stay away from.”

I lace my fingers into his hair and tug his mouth back to mine. This moment is already perfect. I don’t need his words too. No, I don’t want his words. Hearing how much he adores me will only make letting go that much harder.

When I explode beneath him, he works me over until the very last wave has washed over me, then he pulls out, flips me over, and enters me from behind. The added pressure is almost too much to take, and I want to erupt all over again instantly. He keeps his hands on my hips, pulling me back into his powerful thrusts. With each one, he lets out a soft, hushed moan. It only takes us minutes in this position before we’re both falling to pieces.

He collapses at my side on the bed, out of breath. His breathing is almost as fast as my heart is beating. This time, I don’t feel that awkwardness. The room doesn’t feel too small or like I have a thousand eyes on me. I feel like I’m alone with him, not being judged.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Do you want me to leave?” I ask, hoping he’s feeling as comfortable as I am this time.

“What? No, I don’t want you to leave. I mean, if you need to, I’ll understand, but don’t leave because of me. I like having you here.” He pulls me closer, and I lay my head on his chest.

There’s a long drawn out silence as we both take in the moment. “Tell me something,” he says.

“Hmm?”

“How is it that you haven’t gotten with someone in town yet? How are you still single?”

I giggle. “In a town this small, everyone knows everyone’s business. If I would’ve gotten with someone, everyone would know about it. Everyone would know when we have sex, when we fight, and all the gory details of the break-up. I’ve just always wanted to avoid that.”

“What about me? I live in this town now.”

“Yes, but you’re different. You’re not going to run and tell everyone the things we do. You want just as much privacy in your life as I do. Plus, you used your adorable daughter against me. She hooked me and you reeled me in,” I joke.

“It wasn’t my intention.” I can hear the amusement in his voice.

I turn my head so I can look up at his face in the darkness. “What was your intention?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “I guess nothing. I was fine being lonely and miserable. But it was like the moment I stopped looking for happiness, it found me.”

“After your wife passed, you gave up on ever being happy again?” I ask, trying to understand his mindset.

“Basically,” he agrees. “I didn’t think I deserved to be happy, not when she was gone.”

“What happened?” I ask, and I hope he understands what that means. I’m asking what happened to his wife, without using the words to avoid causing him to feel more pain.

“I used to be a lawyer, and I worked eighty hours a week. As you can probably imagine, with a workload that heavy, it didn’t leave much time for anything else. I barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone, spend time with my wife and daughter.

“So one day, she caught me off guard and made me promise her a night out. We agreed to get a babysitter and go out for dinner, but I made it very clear that I didn’t want to go dancing or out drinking with friends. I was exhausted, and I only wanted dinner and then to go home to catch up on some sleep. I was so tired. I never should have let myself get that tired.

“Anyway, we went out for dinner and Kate had a couple glasses of wine. She was so happy, she practically glowed. She was excited to be out of the house, spending some alone time with me. Dinner went wonderfully and then we loaded back up into the car for the ride home. But Kate wasn’t ready to go back home. I think she was trying to seduce me into staying out with her a little longer. She took off her seatbelt and leaned in toward me. She was just being fun and playful, kissing my neck and nipping my ear. I was so tired and distracted by what she was doing that I didn’t see a car run a red light. He hit us, T-boned us. He drove right into her door going what the police think was about fifty miles per hour. The speed limit was twenty-five in that section of town.

“I tried to swerve at the last second, which ultimately made the crash worse. The sudden jerk and then the hit, it flipped the car over on its hood. I hit my head and was knocked out. When I came to, all I could see was her lying on the roof of the car, broken and twisted up in these horrifying positions. She was covered in blood and couldn’t breathe.

“Anyway, I’ve always sort of blamed myself. If I hadn’t been so tired, I could’ve avoided the crash. Or if I had told her I was too tired to go, I would’ve been in trouble for backing out, but at least she’d still be alive.”

I reach up, cupping his jaw. “It wasn’t your fault, Carson.”

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