Page 9 of Single Dad Dilemma

“What?” she asks, voice still thick with sleep.

“Violet came by here while you were sleeping.”

“She did?” She perks up.

“Yep, and she brought you a dozen cupcakes and icing so you can decorate them yourself. What do you think of that?”

She gasps and jerks her head upright. “Yay! Can I do it now?”

I laugh. “How about we have some lunch? Then when we’re done, I’ll set the table up for you?”

“Alright. I want sketti-o’s,” she says, moving to lay down on the couch.

I get up and go to the kitchen, pouring a can of SpaghettiOs’s into a bowl and tossing it into the microwave. I open the fridge and search for something for myself. There isn’t much, but I find everything I need for a sandwich. The two of us have our lunch on the couch, watching some cartoon, and when we finish, she makes sure I hold up my end of the deal. I take the cupcakes out of the box and put them on the kitchen table. Then I pull out all the piping bags of icing. She climbs up onto a chair and gets busy.

I go back into the living room and start picking up the mess of paperwork I left lying around. I know by now that if I don’t put them away, they’ll just end up smeared with juice and jam later. I stack the papers and slide them into a folder neatly, then put the folder on the entertainment center where she can’t reach it. I’m heading back to the kitchen when I hear a knock at the door. I turn and go to open it, finding the delivery man standing before me. He has a clipboard in hand. “Are you Carson Evans?”

“I am.”

“Sign here, please.”

I take the clipboard and scribble my name across the line.

“Where would you like it?”

“If you could, just drop it here in front of the garage door.”

“Will do.”

I go back inside and find Margo completely covered in icing. The cupcakes look to be done, but instead of throwing out the extra icing, she’s decided to suck it out of the tube.

“Margo, honey. You can’t eat that much icing. You’ll be sick,” I say, walking over and taking the piping bags away.

She just smiles up at me with her blue teeth.

I laugh and shake my head. “Go into the bathroom and clean yourself up. I’ll clean up the table and floor…and chair.”

She runs off and I begin putting the cupcakes back into their box and wiping down every surface she’s come in contact with.

Later in the day, Margo has been fed and bathed. She is now working on some art at the table while I clean up after dinner. She comes running into me with a paper in her hand.

“Daddy, Daddy.” She tugs on my shirt.

“What?” I ask, closing the dishwasher.

“I made Violet a thank you card for the cupcakes. Can we take it to her?”

I laugh and look at my watch. “Honey, it’s going on eight o’clock. I don’t think Violet is there. But I’ll tell you what. If you clean up your mess and get in bed, we’ll go by there in the morning and get some donuts for breakfast. And then you can give her the paper.”

She smiles and runs off back to the table to clean up.

She’s sound asleep by eight thirty, leaving me to my own devices now. It’s strange. Before, I felt I didn’t even have enough time for sleep. Now, I feel like I don’t know what to do with all this time, especially when Margo is occupied. I stare up at the TV screen but can’t really watch it. I’m lost in my own thoughts. I’m tired but not tired enough to sleep. My body doesn’t feel tired, just my mind. It’s like I’ve been having a mental fight with myself for the last three years. No matter how much I sleep, it never goes away.

I turn off the light and lie down on the couch, hoping the darkness will help relax me enough so I start to feel tired. Some movie is playing on the screen, and I watch it without really watching it. I keep my eyes on it, but my mind is free to wonder. I think about the new house, how different it is from Chicago, all my plans I have regarding starting the new business, and, as always, Margo. Will she be happy here? Will she like the school here? But sure enough, the one thing I’ve been trying to avoid pops back into my head. Violet.

I know I shouldn’t, but I let my mind wonder when it comes to her. I can see our first kiss. I imagine it happening out on the dock underneath a dark sky with a million shining stars. I’ve just given her a ride on the boat, and the whole night felt romantic and charged. She turns to face me to thank me for the ride or to say she has to leave, I’m not sure. But then I lean forward, capturing her lips with mine. At first, she’s shocked, her lips unmoving, but she warms up to it, and she pulls me against her, kissing me harder, faster. I can see myself picking her up against me and moving us to the Chaise outside. I lay her down and cover her body with mine. She feels good pressed against me; she feels right.

My body begins to come alive with the mental images, and it snaps me out of it. I roll my eyes at myself and groan, forcing myself to watch what’s playing on the TV this time, leaving no room for my mind to wander.

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