Page 152 of Illusory

I hated that he felt responsible, that he blamed himself for how anything played out. Because it wasn’t his fault. None of it was. He was just an innocent bystander, subject to the whims of Fate’s cruel hands. Just like the rest of us.

“I made so many mistakes back then, Jem, all because I was afraid. Afraid of dying. Afraid of never seeing my sister again.” He met my gaze pointedly. “Afraid of losing you.”

I looked away, knowing I hadn’t exactly made that fear any easier for him when I was falling in love with another man right before his eyes.

“I couldn’t control those other things, but in my mind, I still had a chance to change the way things turned out with you. So I held on tighter. Protected harder. Squeezed until you could barely breathe. And the whole time, I patted myself on the back, telling myself I was doing the right thing. Because you were mine,” he said, shaking his head at himself. “But I was wrong.”

I wasn’t sure I liked where this was going, but I couldn’t summon the words to stop him.

“Everything was always about me. About what I wanted. About what I thought was best for you. But all I was doing was taking from you. Taking your independence. Taking your freedom to choose. Taking your right to fall and get back up again. To learn how to fly on your own and become the person you were meant to be. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it’s still what I was doing. I get that now. I really do. And I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. To earn my place beside you. To only give and never again take from you.”

“No, that’s not right.” I shook my head, tears streaming down my face because I didn’t want him to see himself like that. “Yougave, Trace. You gave me so much when I had nothing and no one. You gave me love, warmth, and security. You gave me a home, Trace. Youaremy home.”

“And you’re mine,” he said, reaching for my hand and pulling me up from my chair, dragging me onto his lap. He gently brushed the tears from my cheeks. “Come on now. There’s no crying on your birthday. Besides, there’s nothing tobe sad about.”

“Yes, there is. You’re making yourself sound like a bad person, and you were never a bad person. Not to me.”

“I wasn’t a bad person, but I could have been better, Jemma. I can be better. And I know you’re going to say I was perfect, because that’s what you do. You forgive and forget and love everyone for who they are, faults and all, and I love that about you. But let me own my shit, okay? Let me be better for you,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose.

My heart swelled with emotion as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He instantly tightened his hold on me and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth and teasing it gently against mine. I wasn’t sure what to make of his promise or the fact that he had carried so much guilt all this time, but I knew—somehow—I was going to find a way to make it up to him.

To make everything better for him.

“Thank you for taking me here,” I said, pulling back slightly to smile at him. “I’ll never forget this day.”

He chuckled, the sound all deep and sexy. “We’re not even close to done, Jemma. This was just the pitstop on the way to your real present.”

“My real present?” I questioned, still confused because this already felt like so much.

“Yeah,” he said and kissed my nose again. “Seeing as it’s your birthday, I thought you should be able to spend it with all the people you love. Including the one who isn’t here anymore.”

I frowned for a moment before realizing what he meant. “You’re taking me to the past to see my dad?” I asked, my eyes wide and hopeful and already blurring at the thought of it.

“Nope. Not to the past,” he said and then quickly continued before the frown on my face could finish forming.“I’m taking you through the Veil to see him.”

Oh. Right. Through the Veil. Of course. Because—Wait.

He waswhat now?

50. WHISPERS FROM THE OTHER SIDE

The crisp, night air slapped against my cheeks as we left the burger joint and made our way back around the building, my heart pattering unevenly as I tried to put together his words in a way that would force them to make sense to me.

It wasn’t working.

“Did you say we’re going to theVeil?” I asked as uncomfortable memories resurfaced of my last trip to the Veil to get the Sang Noir. “As in the no-man’s-land between our world and the Spirit Realm?”

“Not exactly,” he said, glancing back at me briefly. “We’re not goingtothe Veil. We’re kind of goingthroughit.”

I blinked at his back, not following or understanding the difference in the least. “Am I missing something, or did I just get dumber since we got here?” I asked as he snorted, rounding the corner back to the spot we’d appeared from. “Why do we need to gotoorthroughthe Veil at all? Aren’t we supposed to be traveling to thepast,or did I misunderstand you when you said you were taking me to see my dad?”

“We’re going to port to the Spirit Realm,” he said, stopping in front of me. The moon was perched high in the sky and shining brightly behind him, illuminating his jet-black hair.

“Port to the Spirit Realm,” I whispered, my voice distant. “Is that where he is?”

He nodded.

“But how will we get there? Can we…I mean, is it evenpossibleto port there?”

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