Page 58 of Illusory

“Then why won’t you touch me?”

“I’m touching you right now, aren’t I?”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

His jaw muscle tensed again. “You’ve already lost more than enough blood for one night. I’m not going to feed on you and take what little you have left,” he said, as though the idea were preposterous. As though my blood wasn’t already regenerating as we spoke.

“But we could do…other things.”

His eyes darkened as he gripped my waist with both hands and lifted me off his lap. For a moment, I felt elated, thinking he was going to throw me down on the bed and have his way with me, but instead, he sat me down on the foot of the bed again and then circled back to my dresser.

Gripping the edge of the dark wood, he dropped his head and stared down at the floor, as though he needed a second to collect himself. After a few moments, he pulled open the top drawer and rifled through my clothes before pulling out a white T-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts.

“I don’t think those are going to fit you,” I said teasingly, trying to keep the mood light and playful even though he still hadn’t turned back around to face me.

“They’re not for me,” he stated simply, like he hadn’t caught the joke at all. “They’re for you.”

“Right.” I eyed him curiously, wondering if I’d be able to relocate his sense of humor if I just stared hard enough. “But you know…I was thinking I’d much rather lose what I’m wearing—not add to it.”

The resounding silence stretched so far across the room that I felt as though I’d been slapped by it.

“It’s been a long day. You ought to rest,” he said and glanced at the bathroom door, his movements almost as wooden as his words were.

“But I’m not tired yet.”

“I’ll run you a shower. You’ll feel better once you’re all cleaned up,” he said and started toward the ensuite bathroom. “I’ll see if I can find you something to eat why you’re doing that.”

“Or you could join me in the shower instead,” I suggested, feeling the brazenness of my words color my cheeks.

He faltered mid-step and then slowly rolled a kink out of his neck. “Is there something specific you would like?”

I blinked, confused. “You mean, like sexually?”

He hissed out a curse under his breath. “I meanto eat,” he answered tersely and then looked over at me with hardened eyes. Whatever heat had been there before had clearly vanished.

“Right.” My shoulders sagged as I stared down at my hands, feeling completely embarrassed. “Anything is fine.”

He nodded and then sauntered off into the bathroom to start the shower.

Standing up on shaky legs, I waited at the foot of my bed for him to reemerge from the bathroom hoping to avoid being crammed into the small space together and embarrassing myself any further. He’d made it perfectly clear where we stood now and just how little he wanted me.

“It’s all yours,” he said curtly without meeting my eyes again as he crossed the length of my bedroom and then disappeared through the door.

18. BARENAKED AND BROKEN

After scrubbing the dried blood and dog drool off my body, I spent the next twenty minutes standing under the running hot water, going over everything that had happened with Dominic tonight as I relived all the ways I had humiliated myself. I’d gone from feeling ashamed to confused to pissed right the fuck off all in the span of thirty minutes before finally calming down enough to see it all for what it really was.

He just didn’t want me anymore.

I wasn’t sure how I had missed it. It seemed so obvious now that I was looking at it without my rose-colored glasses. His feelings for me had changed. I wasn’t sure when it happened, or why it happened, but it did. Maybe it was some long-term symptom of having his emotions shut off by his sire, or maybe it was because of the wings and all the fucked-up things they represented for me.

Or maybe I just wasn’t worth the trouble anymore.

Either way, it really didn’t matter what the reason was. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t make it easier for me to digest. Obsessing over the ‘why’ would only prolong the inevitable and keep me trapped in a perpetual state of denial. A state that would have me throwing myself at a man who clearly didn’t want me anymore.

And I’d be damned if I didthattwice.

I’d thought that there was still hope for us—a chance that he still cared when he came back for me tonight, but he’d made it perfectly clear that I was gravely mistaken.

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