Page 70 of Illusory

I jerked back at his casual assertion. “And why the hell would Dominic want to fix anything between me and Trace?”

“Why does Dominic do any of the things he does?”

“The hell if I know.”

Gabriel smiled. “He does them for you. The only time I’ve ever seen my brother do anything kind—show any kind of love or human emotion—was for you. To have you, to protect you, to love you.”

My heart squeezed at his words as though the chambers were suddenly overflowing with hope. But I was too afraid to take it in, to let it fill my head with fairy tales that were doomed to fall apart. “Then why won’t he touch me or kiss me anymore? Why is he pushing me into Trace’s arms instead of keeping me for himself like he’s always done?”

He’d helped me in the past countless times before, put my well-being and my heart ahead of his own, time and time again, but he’d always done it without letting me go. Why was this time different?

“I’m…not sure,” he said, and I could hear the sincerity in his voice. He truly had no idea and was just as much in the dark about his brother’s state of mind as I was. “Maybe that’s something you should be asking him.”

“And throw down the last of my dignity? Just like that?”

He smiled at that. “At least then you’ll know if it was all worth it or not.”

I nodded, letting his words burrow in. How else would I know the truth if I didn’t come right out and ask him? To demand that he tell me where we stood so that I could know once and for all whether to close the door on him.

Not that I had any idea how to close the door on Dominic.

Or Trace.

But that was a pickle for another day.

Gabriel bit down into his wrist to reproduce the puncture wounds that had already healed and then he extended his wrist to me again. “Go on,” he urged when I didn’t immediately reach for his wrist.

I gazed at him for a moment, grateful as all hell that I had a friend like him. A best friend. And then I took his offering with both hands and an appreciative smile.

After I was done, I cleaned the corners of my mouth and then offered my own wrist to him so that he could have a small pick-me-up as well. He tried to shake his head at first, to pretend that he didn’t need it, but I could tell by his stretched pupils that he really wanted to.

“You’re taking some and I’m not accepting no as an answer,” I informed, knowing that he would never admit it on his own.

Despite having accomplished our goal of forming a bloodbond to temporarily override the one I had with Dominic, there was no need to cut him off from the good stuff now that I had what I needed from him. So, I decided Iwouldn’t. As long as he still wanted what I had, I would always happily give it to him.

Besides, if I were being totally honest with myself, it had been nice having a bloodbond with someone like Gabriel. Someone I felt safe and comfortable with. Not that I didn’t feel that way with Dominic, but ours had been a completely different dynamic. The love and attraction I had for him—the deep-rooted need to be consumed by him—it had always made our bloodsharing a dangerous game of cat and mouse.

But it was different with Gabriel. Less like the turbulent seas and more like a calm, peaceful lake.

I set my extended arm on his knee and gestured for him to take it. With a small, timid smile, he picked up my wrist and then slowly brought it to his mouth, giving us both a little bit of the thing we needed most then.

The pain and pleasure came and went as it always did, but the connection I had with him in that moment…I knew that would last long after the bloodbond was dead and gone.

22. A SKY FULL OF STARS

I texted Dominic to meet me upstairs as soon as Gabriel left my room. After talking to Gabriel and realizing just how confused I really was regarding my relationship with Dominic, I decided that it had gone on long enough and that it was time to confront him. Despite my trembling hands and racing heart, and the very real fear that this one conversation could spell the end of us for good, I knew it needed to happen and that I would accept whatever I had coming, so long as it was coming from a place of truth.

No more games. No more mixed messages. No more waiting for things to magically work themselves out. I was going to demand answers from him, and I had every intention of getting them, one way or another. Even if I had to force them out of him with my bare hands.

The knock at my door sent my heart into a frenzy even though I had been standing right in front of it for the last five minutes, waiting for him to show up.

I can do this. Itotallygot this. Whatever happens happens, I told myself as I pulled in a calming breath, squared my shoulders and then opened the door. All my bravado and confidence went down the toilet as I looked up and saw his already shuttered eyes.

He glanced over my shoulder into my room but didn’t move to take a step forward. “You said it was urgent,” he said, sounding annoyed, as though he’d expected there to be a fire in my room or a couple of Revenants that needed vanquishing.

“It is.” I stepped back, holding the door open for him.

He exhaled sharply and then walked in, both hands burieddeep in his pocket as he turned around to face me, his throat bobbing on a swallow as he met my eyes. I pressed my back against the door and shut it, leaning there for a moment as I tried to summon the courage to have this conversation with him. To lay my heart at his feet once again where he could so readily stomp on it.

---