Page 53 of Pity Play

“Are you staying at our house?” Even though I’m not, I wonder why he would think I’d stay anywhere else. My mom rolls her eyes. While sympathetic to my dad, it’s obvious his attitude is wearing thin with her, as well.

“I’m staying at Noah’s parents’,” I tell him. “They’re in Florida. But I’m happy to move home if you think you’ll need me.”

The look of terror on his face is almost laughable. “I’ll be fine.” He turns to my mom. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Brenda?”

She doesn't seem as sold. “We’ll see how well you can move in and out of bed.”

Taking her cue, I tell him, “You mightneedmy help.”

“The nurses showed me how to do everything.” He points to the wheelchair. “As long as I have that, I’ll be fine.”

Even though I finally know more about my dad’s earlier lifethan I did, I can’t help feeling irritated by his attitude. I gently help him out of the passenger side of the car and into the wheelchair before turning him around so he’s facing the front door. Pointing to the joystick on the right side, I tell him, “It’s self-explanatory.”

He pushes the mechanism forward as my mom leads the way. Once we’re in the house, my mom exclaims, “It smells so good in here!” Turning to me, she adds, “You’ve been busy.”

I give her a knowing look. “I’ve been cooking the healing foods.”

“You made my chicken noodle soup?” My dad’s voice quivers with emotion.

“And chocolate chip cookies. I also whipped up a plate of peanut butter, jelly, marshmallow, and banana sandwiches.” He looks like he’s about to cry.

My dad clears his throat before saying, “That’s very nice of you, son. Thank you.” And darn if he doesn’t sound sincere.

Noticing the setup in the living room, he says, “You built a fire, too.”

“I thought it made the room look a little more welcoming.”

From the other room, I hear my mom exclaim, “You bought flowers! Thank you, Luke!”

My mom walks over to the hospital bed and pats the mattress before telling my dad, “Time to show us how you can do this by yourself.”

My father maneuvers his wheelchair with precision, positioning himself expertly next to the hospital bed. Then he pushes out of it with his good arm and his good leg before swiveling to the side. Once he’s on the mattress, he’s able to reach the remote and raise the top of the mattress until he can finagle himself into a sitting position.

“Nice work,” I tell him sincerely.

He grunts. “I’m so dang relieved to be out of traction, I feel like I could sprint down a soccer field.”

“No more talk like that,” my mom mutters. “Your x-rays may look great, but you’re on strict bedrest for at least another week.”

My dad closes his eyes as he pushes the button to recline the bed. “I’m tired,” he says. “I think I’ll take a nap.”

Things have taken such a nice turn I don’t want to leave to go into Pop’s, but Jim is waiting for a break. Reaching over, I squeeze the hand on my dad’s good arm, “I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

His breathing changes almost immediately, making it clear he’s worn out. I gesture to my mom to follow me to the kitchen. Once we get there, I tell her, “I can’t believe I didn’t know anything about Dad’s childhood.”

She shrugs. “What good would it have done if you had?”

“It’s not that it would have changed anything, but it would have been nice to know. I feel like I don’t know Dad at all.”

The tension around my mom’s mouth relaxes slightly before she says, “There are some burdens only the person living with them can understand. Your dad never wanted you and Kelsey to know how hard life can be. He wanted to protect you from that.”

“It’s like he’s a stranger though.”

“You know all the best parts of him, Luke. Unfortunately, in the last couple of years, you’ve gotten to know some of the tough parts. He’s still a person with struggles.”

“Yes, but he’s made me feel like his challenges are my fault, which is frustrating.” Even though I’m happy to have learned more about my dad’s life, I’m the one who still needs to figure out how to reach him.

“Maybe so,” my mom says while pointing to the plate of sandwiches on the counter. “But it seems to me like you’ve figured some things out for yourself.”

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