Page 66 of Pity Play

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

LORELAI

I barely slept a wink last night. I just replayed my evening with Luke on a loop. And let me tell you, that kiss got way more play than any other part of the night. My younger self would have climbed a mountain for a kiss like that. My older self is pretty jazzed, too. But as nice as it was, I can’t let thoughts of being with Luke distract me from everything I have to take care of. That’s why the best thing I can possibly do for myself is to keep out of his way.

I stay in bed until I hear the front door open and shut. Once I’m certain Luke isn’t coming back inside for anything, I take a hot shower.

I don’t bother to do more than towel dry my hair before throwing it up into a ponytail. Then I put on some old sweats and get ready to face my list for the day. When I get to the kitchen, I’m kind of sad that Luke didn’t leave anything delicious for breakfast, but then I remember he’s making breakfast for his parents.

After popping a Toaster Strudel into the toaster, I pour a cup of coffee and sit down at the kitchen table with my lists. With the bookshelves and closets packed, the house is already starting tolook bare. Today, I plan to go through the kitchen and linen closets.

After eating, I get to work for an hour when I hear a knock at the front door. Opening it, I discover Allie standing there looking like she’s just lost her best friend. “Are you okay?” I ask while pulling her inside. She’s wearing holey jeans and a frayed sweater that I’m guessing she found in a rag bin.

Standing in my entryway, she responds, “I’m not great, to be honest.”

“What happened?” I lead the way into the living room before plopping down on the sofa. Allie follows suit.

“Brett is getting remarried,” she announces.

“Brett, your ex?” I can’t think of another Brett, but this seems incredibly fast.

She nods her head. “I just heard from a friend in the city that his new girlfriend is pregnant and they’re going to elope to Vegas this weekend.”

“Two things,” I tell her. “The first being, what a pig! And the second, what if something happens to this baby, too?” I don’t want to jinx a new life, especially one with such a turd of a dad, but Allie miscarried three times. These things do happen.

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I suppose if they lose this baby, he’ll leave her, too.”

I have to know, “What did you ever see in that guy?”

Allie kicks off her shoes before pulling her feet onto the couch. “You know how you have a vision for your life? You picture reaching certain milestones by certain times and then you just think, okay, I’m at the place in my life where it’s time to get married; have a family; buy a house, etc.?”

I know what she’s saying, but I’ve never operated like that. While I’ve certainly thought about those things, none of them appeared to be imminent, so I never felt pressured to stay on any timeline. That’s why I tell her, “Not really, no.”

She stares at me disbelievingly. “You were never tempted to marry Michael because you thought it was time to get married?”

I shake my head.

“I don’t believe you,” Allie says.

“Why not? I left Michael.”

“Didn’t you ever wonder if you should just stay and take the next step?”

“No. But I did wonder how I lasted as long as I did.”

Allie’s brow wrinkles in confusion. “I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself, Lorelai.”

“Why would I lie about wanting to stay with Michael?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t think you’re lying about your feelings toward him, but I don’t think you’re being honest about everything else.”

Changing tactics, I ask her, “How many people our age do you know who move home with no plans for their future?”

“Just you,” she says. “I think it’s more common for people to never leave home than to come back.”

“Exactly. So, I’m telling you the truth. I’ve never been tempted to stay with someone because I thought that was what I should do. Which is probably why I’m finding my current situation a bit challenging. My parents are telling me to create a plan and make it happen because it’s time for me to move on, but I innately resist that kind of pressure.”

“You must have hopes and dreams.”

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