The little girl beside him screams so loudly it pierces my ears, making me wince as she lets go of the balloon she’s holding. It flies straight up into the fence, bursting and sending a bangthrough the air as the little girl and the boy on the other side of Levi turn and start running, but as they do, they bump into Levi, almost knocking him to the ground.
Levi screams, rattling through my very foundation.
“Be quiet!” Levi yells at the top of his lungs, so loud his voice cracks under the strain as he continues to grip onto his ears, rocking back and forth.
I don’t waste a second and take off to grab him, but he spots me coming, then bolts in the other direction, knocking little kids over on his way. They burst out crying as my feet pound hard on the concrete.
Levi’s freaking out, and I need to stop him before he hurts himself or someone else. I’m quick as Levi runs into a walkway with an overgrown arch. It’s secluded, and not many people are here, but they watch Levi as he groans and runs away from me.
I’m gaining on him, then wrap my arms around his body. I yank him to me as I pull us to a stop. Wrapping him up tight in my arms, he fights me with all that he has as he moans loud, his hands coming down to punch into my back. I grimace as he unleashes his fury on me, but I don’t care as long as I have him contained and safe. That’s all I care about. His fists slam into my back, hitting so hard I know it will bruise as I run my hands tightly around him, holding him into place, trying to placate him. “You’re okay, Levi, I’m right here. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you,” I tell him.
But he continues to moan against my ear as he thrashes about in my grip. “Be quiet,” he yells.
“The noise is gone. You’re okay,” I murmur as I see Tomi rush in behind Levi, tears streaming down her beautiful, panicked face as she moves in cautiously behind Levi to gain access to his backpack. She glances at me. I nod at her, letting her know I have him tight.
He can’t hurt her.
He might only be sixteen, but he’s strong as hell.
She opens his backpack and pulls out his trusty earmuffs, then moves into place and tries to shove them on his ears, but his head is thrashing about. I grip him harder, making him moan in anguish as Tomi finally manages to place the earmuffs over his ears and on his head. It instantly calms him down. Eventually, he stops beating my back and goes limp.
Tomi sobs as I grip Levi, comforting him in my arms. He grasps onto me like I’m his lifeline as I hold him, letting Levi know I’m not going to let him go.
Eventually, his energy dissolves. He’s wrapped his legs and arms around my body. I gently sit him down on a nearby bench, then squat at his feet. He tries to hit me again, but I block him with one hand. He’s totally exhausted. The sight of his weakness sends sadness through me as I gently reach into my pocket, pulling out his blue fidget spinner.
I put it in my pocket this morning just in case we needed it today to keep Levi entertained. Maybe he needs it to settle his mind right now.
I glance at him. “If you take a breath, everything will be all right. The noise is gone, and all you can hear is me. Play with this for a while. Okay?”
His head moves infinitesimally in a nod, so I hand it to him. He takes it, adjusting his earmuffs on his head but leaving them on as he slowly rotates the spinner, concentrating as it whirls around in his fingers. I stand, inhaling deeply. The area smells like lavender—it’s calming and soothing and just what Levi needs. The walkway is vacant of all other people right now, which is a blessing. He simply needs some time to breathe.
I turn and study Tomi’s expression. She’s devastated. Turning away from the two of us, she folds her arms around her body for comfort. Stepping over to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to my chest. Instantly, she bursts into tears.
I didn’t feel any ounce of fear or panic in the situation. Somehow, I knew what I had to do. I’ve made sure to educate myself on the issues Levi has in case it ever happened while I was with him, so I was prepared. What I didn’t read up on was how badly it affects the loved ones around him.
“It’s going to be all right.”
She sniffles, her bottom lip trembling. “He’d have been fine if we didn’t bring him here. This is all my fault. I know his condition, I knew this was a possibility, but he’s been doing so well the last few years with no severe meltdowns. Nothing this bad has happened for so damn long, I’ve gotten complacent. I should have known after he had a minor outburst when I told him about the shop. I knew he was on edge. This was too much.” She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m a terrible caregiver and sister.”
I pull her to me, shaking my head. “This isn’t your fault. Too many things happened at the same time… the lion, the balloon, the screaming kids. We couldn’t have foreseen that, Tomi. He’s had a great time here today, and he got to see a lion in the flesh.”
She sniffles, glancing over at Levi. He’s content to twirl his spinner, yet he’s totally wiped out.
“True, he did get to tick something off his bucket list.”
Chuckling, I wipe a tear from her cheek. “Where’s that feisty, sassy woman I know? This isn’t you.”
“I’m strong in everything I do, but when it comes to Levi, I’m weak. Seeing him meltdown like that…” She sniffs. “It breaks me every damn time. He panics, and I panic, it’s a vicious circle, and one I will never get used to. Mom was so good with him. She knew exactly what to do in these circumstances… so do you.”
Pulling her to me, I kiss her forehead. “Even a girl who’s as hard as stone is soft on the inside.”
She giggles, pushing me away from her while crinkling up her nose with a feisty expression back on her face.
There’s my girl.
She walks over to Levi, bending down at his feet as I walk over beside her.
Levi glances up at us both and smiles weakly. “I saw a lion.”