Page 17 of Break Line

Nate agreed to Kai’s proposed plan. At first, he was resistant, but then Kai sweetened the deal and pointed out that they couldn’t have a proper ceremony for Nate’s mom’s ashes if he wouldn’t get back out on the water.

It was the one thing that pushed him past his fears–to be able to honor his mother the way she would have wanted.

Uncle Ravi had a prosthetic left leg, very similar to Nate’s. Kai left him alone with the elderly man for an hour. During that time, he listened to a man that outwardly appeared broken, but inwardly had more gumption than half of the men in his unit combined. Toward the end of his visit, Ravi coaxed Nate to the water’s edge, but it was as far as he would go. Ravi, swam out to the break line waiting for his wave.

As Nate held his hand over his eyes shielding them from the sun, he envied the man’s resolve. That was what he needed, but how could he get from where he was to there? He watched enviously as the old man rode the board with ease, his metal prosthetic only noticeable if you knew it was there. It was as though the artificial limb was now a part of him making him complete.

The next day, they went to visit Uncle Phan. He was a crotchety old guy, looking much older than his actual age of sixty-five. Uncle Phan had both of his legs blown off in Vietnam and never moved past it. He functioned in his house, but fear controlled his life. It was evident in the slight nuances of how timid he was about rolling over a threshold or hesitant to try anything new.

While Phan poured over an old photo album, reliving the worst days of his life, Nate turned to Kai. His cousin had done the impossible and changed his mind.

“I get it. Door number one.”

As they rode back to Kai’s house, Nate took Kini’s business card out of his pocket. She had written her personal number on the back for him to reach her any time. He took a big breath, hoping he wasn’t too late.

* * *

Nathan satat the kitchen table turning the card repeatedly, stalling. Would it be better to walk over to her apartment? Or in his case, hobble?

He drained the bottle of Powerade, then made his way to the bathroom. In person was probably his best chance. The reflection that met him was sad looking. He'd stopped shaving, hadn't gotten a haircut, hell, he hadn't even bathed regularly.

His haggard appearance aged him by at least ten years as he noticed the lines and dark circles around his eyes. There was no way he wanted her to see him like this.

A quick shave, fresh shirt. He stopped and sniffed his underarm…a shower would be the first order of business. He thought about when the last time he had showered and shaved. Raking his hand over the full beard he decided to stop at the barber on the way. Neither Vera nor his girls had said one word about his disheveled appearance up to that point.

Fifteen minutes later, Nathan was dressed as if he were ready to teach a lecture. He really had to go shopping since his best shirts were the university polos. He put on his slippah, bitter still that he had to pay full price for a pair of shoes that he could never wear the left one of again. Well, maybe in the future, when he got a prosthetic that looked like flesh. He attached the adhesive band of the special made slippah that had no toe thong to the top of his prosthetic foot. It at least looked somewhat normal.

Nathan was becoming proficient on his new prosthetic leg, managing a relatively smooth gait. It was the metal one while he waited for his custom fit model, but if he wore trousers, no one would be the wiser. It was a deceptive lie, but it helped him cope for the moment. He was adjusting in small steps.

Joe’s barbershop was on the corner, a block before the apartment complex where Kini lived. Nate had committed everything she had shared to memory, even though at the time, he was embarrassed to do more than the grueling physical therapy sessions. He pushed the door open to Joe’s shop.

“Hey, Nate, been a while. Have a seat there, I’m almost finished with Mr. Chen.” Joe was a distant cousin. It seemed nearly everyone on this island was related somehow.

When he realized how many relatives he had here, he questioned Vera if there were any connections from her family to his. It had turned around on him quickly though, she became the Fifth Inquisition with her rapid-fire questions to him, but she let it slip that Kini had inquired about him. It had given him a sliver of hope.

“All right then, chair’s open. What are we doing today?” Joe ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair assuming that was the main thing he wanted.

“Full shave and a trim. I kind of like the longer look, and the University doesn’t object. I don’t want it to get much longer, but…just a trim for now.”

Joe went to work with the clippers, trimming off the bulk of his beard as the two men talked about the weather, the surf, and the string of crimes that had been in the news.

When he had finished, Nate looked at least five years younger. He had ignored most everything, even the beard in his state of depression. Clean-shaven once again, it was an outward sign of the steps he was taking to remove the inward fog. The fresh haircut didn’t hurt either.

Nate paid Joe then headed to Kini’s apartment. With every step, he was alternately trying to build up his courage, or talk himself down from turning tail and going back home. It was never this hard when he started dating Tonya. But then again, years later he found out she’d been two-timing him with Tom since they’d begun dating.

He hated to admit it because he was never one to take divorce lightly, but he was glad she was out of his life. Not only after finding out about Tom, but her negativity was hard to take. He was glad to have Jalyn and Jasmine back with him, and thankful, at least for that part, of their relationship.

Deep in thought about his daughters, he found himself at Kini’s apartment door. He held up his hand to knock, freezing.

What if she didn’t want to see him? What if she was dating someone else? What if she thought this was an intrusion?

The door opened, and Kini walked right into him.

“Oomph!” Kini had been talking to someone with her head turned away from Nate. She spun around facing a solid wall of chest. Stepping back a half-step, she looked up. “Nate! So good to see you. What are you doing here?”

“I never did pay you back for that lunch at the food truck ,and well, thought I would see if you wanted to head down to the beach and get something…on me.” He offered a weak smile.

“Oh! Um, well I was just about to go to the surf shop with Raul.”

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