Page 10 of Fight or Flight

Startled, Katherine put down the pot of coffee she held. “What do you mean ‘human’?”

“Just what I said. There’s nothing out there. No tire tracks where the dogs romp around, no footprints.”

“That’s reassuring,” she told him, even though it didn’t do much to settle her nerves. That persistent feeling of someone watching her still bothered her, but she didn’t think it warranted mentioning. Just one more thing to add to her list of issues.

She handed him a mug of coffee and nodded toward the kitchen’s large island. “Have a seat.” She handed over a plate piled high with eggs, several slices of bacon, and a stack of French toast.

“If I ate like this every day, I think I’d be in trouble. Looks delicious.” He dug into his food, stopping to wash it down with coffee. When he finished, he placed a hand on his stomach. “This’ll do me until dinner.”

Katherine grinned. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

He took his empty plate to the sink, rinsed it off, then put it on the drainboard. She’d rewash and rinse his dishes later.

“So, K”—Doc always called her that—“tell me what’s going on with this staying-in-the-house business. I’ve known you for four years, and you’ve never brought the dogs into my clinic. I always bring them myself.”

Her face turned ten shades of red. She thought he knew the extent of her disorder. Apparently, he didn’t.

He held both palms out. “I know the medical terms, kiddo. As a friend, I’d like to offer my help. I’ve got a buddy in Asheville. He was my roommate in college, and we’ve been friends ever since. He practices psychiatry. Kind of like me, he makes house calls. You wanna talk to him?”

Visions of a doctor trying to persuade Katherine to leave her home were too much. Instantly her throat was dry, and she could barely swallow. She just shook her head.

“You probably don’t need to hear this, but I was a medical doctor before I became a veterinarian. Found I liked animals a lot more than humans.” He watched her carefully. “Here.” He pulled out a barstool. “Calm down. I’ll get you some water.”

Wanting him to leave, she now regretted her spur-of-the-moment invitation. She did as instructed and took a sip of water, despite how difficult it was to swallow. Embarrassed, she looked away when he made eye contact.

“K, I’d better scoot. Though promise me you’ll think about this?”

Finally focusing her gaze on his, she nodded. “It’s not a choice,” she whispered as he turned away.

He nodded before leaving through the open doors.

But itwasa choice, she thought after he’d left. She chose to stay away from the outside world, finding comfort in the cocoon she’d created for herself, one she felt relatively happy with. Technology made her life livable. She had everything she needed, minus a relationship. After her experience with Adam, having a man in her life wasn’t a top priority, though she often wondered if her life would’ve been different had Adam survived the bombing. They’d discussed marriage and in general terms if they wanted children, topics couples discussed as the relationship progressed. Theirs hadn’t been a long relationship, though it’d been intense in a good way.

Focusing on Sam and Sophie, Katherine gave each a good scratch between the ears. She was unsure if she should leave the kitchen doors open, giving them free rein to run in and out as normal. Thinking better of it, she shut the doors with her foot, continuing to give her dogs attention.

“You two have to stay with me today,” she said, before returning to the kitchen. She washed Doc Baker’s plate, cup, and flatware five times and still felt she needed to repeat the process. But she stopped herself before she reached for the plate yet again. This was insane. She vowed she wouldn’t allow this excessive dishwashing to become another uncontrollable habit. She was sure that she could do this on her own; she didn’t need a physician to tell her it was abnormal.

After tidying the kitchen, she went to her office, which was also the dining room. She supposed she could have used one of the bedrooms as an office, but they remained empty to this day. Having her office here, she could see straight through to the kitchen and the living room. Because one of the dining room walls had floor-to-ceiling windows, she positioned her desk so she had a view of the incredible Blue Ridge Mountains. Fall was her favorite season. She would gaze at the mountains with all of their jewel-toned colors. She often spent hours staring out the windows. It kept her from feeling claustrophobic. She felt fine looking outside, even opening the doors. She just could not bring herself to put one foot out the door. Every time she tried, it was always the same ending. Living alone, she couldn’t risk another blackout. She had to remain alert at all times, because for years, she felt like she was being watched.Crazy, she thought. “Enough, Katherine,” she said out loud.

Booting up her laptop, she clicked on her calendar, a practice she’d yet to give up, knowing exactly what plans she had for today—paying bills. Most days were the same as the ones before. Katherine paid her electricity bill, her cell-phone bill, and the company that monitored her security system. All of this came at a price, and she knew she’d gone a bit overboard on the security system. But it kept her safe, and that’s all that mattered.

Her thoughts drifted back to the night before. She closed out the calendar and opened her email, wondering if Karrie had responded to her last message. Scanning through dozens of emails advertising everything from sunscreen to organic beans, she deleted them. There was nothing from Karrie, so she opened her Friendlink fan page to see if she was online. She was probably in class, though most kids had cell phones, and Katherine knew they were allowed to bring them to school. Suddenly a message from another user popped up.

HotandCool: Hey girl, what’s up?

Bigfan216: School.

HotandCool: Utah starts early!

Katherine had forgotten about the time difference.

Bigfan216: Getting ready, I mean. Makeup, hair, takes 4evr!

HotandCool: I gotcha.

While Katherine appreciated the conversation, she wished Karrie would log on. More than a bit concerned after last night, she could only hope the poor girl’s emails hadn’t been discovered by her father. If she was being truthful about his abuse, who knew what could have happened. Why Katherine had involved herself in her fan’s issues last night was beyond her, other than sheer loneliness. She typed another message.

Bigfan216: Super long hair, it takes a lot of time!

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