Page 21 of Fight or Flight

Blondebookbabe: Have fun!

HotandCool: Later.

If Katherine were a gambling woman, she’d bet Karrie was an attention seeker. Possibly she thought Darby was gullible, since she’d been friendly to her. Katherine planned to spend more time watching the fan page and the email she’d set up. She would do what she could with the limited information she had if she sensed the young girl was in danger.

Focusing her attention back on Tyler Newlon, she hoped this wasn’t just a case of being attracted to the first man her age she’d been around since Adam. It wasn’t her style, but maybe she’d been out of the dating game for so long she no longer had a style.

Prepping tomorrow night’s dinner was at the top of her list. She had dozens of cookbooks in her kitchen. She stood and stretched, and then Sam and Sophie followed her to the kitchen. “I bet you two want a treat?” she asked, laughing at how fast their tails wagged when she said “treat.” They were so smart. She couldn’t imagine life without them.

“Sit,” she told them, handing them each a bully stick. “Good kids.” If someone were to overhear her conversations with the dogs she thought of as her “kids,” they’d think she was even more off her rocker.

She thumbed through a couple of cookbooks. Not knowing if Tyler was a meat-and-potatoes guy, she opted for something in between, deciding a simple roasted chicken would suffice. Returning to her office, she went to the Apple Blossom Gourmet Market’s website and ordered what she would need for dinner. She’d make an apple pie for dessert. Katherine had gone overboard last week when she ordered apples, as there were none better to her than a North Carolina apple.

As soon as she finished her order, she opened her Darby email account to see if Karrie had responded. There was nothing, which made her even more suspicious of the girl. If Karrie had the ability to go online and send an email, couldn’t she just as easily email her local police department? It made no sense to her. Feeling foolish, Katherine felt she shouldn’t have responded so quickly to Karrie’s emails and comments. From now on, she would be more careful in screening future fans who wanted to be a part of her community.

The dogs started barking, letting her know they wanted to go out. She’d closed the doors earlier, not wanting to leave them open until she discovered what had caused them to go berserk. The fact that there were potentially bears outside was another reason to keep the doors closed. She’d never thought too much about it, which she now realized was sheer stupidity on her part.

Opening the doors, she said, “Go on.” She watched them race out of sight. “The horses,” she said to herself, closing the door. That must be where the dogs were headed. As long as the horses were stabled safely, Katherine didn’t see anything wrong with Sam and Sophie hanging out at the stables. She wished she knew their exact location; she should’ve asked Doc Baker to snap a photo. Not that it would matter, given her inability to take a casual walk to go find the stables, regardless of whether she had a picture. They could be miles away, for all she knew. But she had heard Doc shouting when they let the horses out of the trailer, so they couldn’t be that far from the house.

With that thought in mind, she returned to her desk, her view of the mountains as stunning as always. As it was nearing the end of September, the dogwoods were starting to turn their deep shade of red. In a few weeks, the countless varieties of maple, hickory, and oak trees would set the mountain ablaze with bright colors, as though Mother Nature were opening a box of crayons, mixing reds, oranges, browns, reds, and burgundies. Katherine knew the beauty kept her sane, and she looked forward to the autumnal changes. Yet each year, she tried to combat the lingering thought that those colors also signaled the passing of time, another year gone by. How long could she continue to live this way? A solitary life with no hope of change.

“Bull,” she said, slamming her hand on her desk. There was all the hope in the world. All she had to do was make it happen. After years of researching panic attacks, she knew they wouldn’t kill her. All was well and good when she wasn’t in the midst of one. She still held the power to live a normal life. All she had to do was decide to start. And she would. Tomorrow after dinner, she would accept Tyler’s offer to help her overcome the colossal fear that controlled her life.

She heard the dogs barking. Her grocery order must’ve arrived. Rather than have them leave the bags outside the door, she would step out and bring the bags in herself. Her heart pounded in her chest as she headed to the door; her throat felt like it was closing. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, to focus on the technique she’d learned and practiced multiple times, she touched the doorknob and gasped for air. She felt as though a vice were cutting off her air supply. She reached the kitchen and found a small brown paper bag she kept in a drawer. Breathing into it to prevent herself from hyperventilating, she sat down on a barstool for a few minutes, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Katherine heard the delivery person leave. If she didn’t bring her groceries inside, they would spoil. Without hesitating, she walked over to the door, closed her eyes, and yanked the door open, stooping for the bags and then dragging them inside. Potatoes, lettuce, and tomatoes spilled out of the bags and onto the floor. She left them there until she felt calm enough to put them away.

A few minutes passed before she could stand once more and pick up the food. Her hands shook as she dumped the produce into a clean dish, filled it with tap water, and left it in the sink to soak. She put the chicken inside the refrigerator, along with the eggs that, by some miracle, were still in the carton, none cracked.

Maybe she’d jumped the gun by accepting Tyler’s invitation to dinner. What if she had a panic attack in front of him? She would die of humiliation, even knowing he’d probably had dozens of patients whack out in front of him. Katherine didn’t want to be one of them. Not sure what to do, she washed the tomatoes, scrubbed the potatoes, and put them in the produce drawer. She washed the lettuce, laying each leaf on a paper towel and carefully patting it dry. She put the lettuce into a plastic bag and then in the veggie drawer when she finished. The task was mundane; it occupied her and kept her focused.

Sam’s loud bark reminded her she’d closed the door on the dogs. “Hang on,” she called out, knowing their barking would stop when they heard her voice. Without thinking, she turned the doorknob, swinging it aside so they could enter. Since she was puttering in the kitchen, she’d leave it open. Wild animals be damned.

Normally she would begin work on her next novel at this time of day, but not today. She didn’t feel the urge to dive into the lives of the fictional girls she created. Instead, she would make the apple pie crust for tomorrow’s dessert. Even if she backed out of the dinner, she could still eat the pie. The thought made her smile. “Okay, Katherine, you can do this.” She spoke to herself, though Sophie acknowledged her with a loudwoof.

“A family has to stick together.” Katherine reached down and fluffed both dogs between their ears.

Realizing it was close to time for the dogs’ evening meal, Katherine decided to tend to them first. She took out duck livers, free-range chicken legs, a cup of their kibble, and two eggs from the refrigerator. She kept their food separate from hers in special containers. They’d been on this raw diet since she had them, and Doc approved, so she didn’t see any reason to stop. They were healthy, and their multicolored coats shined. She always added omega oil to the food in the morning, knowing this was especially good for them. “Okay, sit,” she instructed, holding out both large bowls. “Good kiddos,” she said, placing their bowls before them.

She washed up, then started making the pie crust, which was simple—a bit of flour and salt with shortening. Katherine sometimes used unsalted butter instead. She’d taught herself to bake during her many years alone and was quite good at it. When the pastry crumbled, after rolling it out, she made two discs, covered them in plastic wrap, and put them in the refrigerator for later. Whether she went through with making dinner for Tyler or not, she would have a damn good apple pie.

She cleaned her mess, then returned to her office. Still concerned about Karrie, she checked her email to see if she’d answered her.

Logging on, she saw she had two emails from Karrie.

To: [email protected]

From: klc#[email protected]

I know who you are. Selfish bitch.

Stunned, she read the second email.

To: [email protected]

From: klc#[email protected]

Please be careful, Darby! He says he knows your family. He’s changed my email address, I’m not sure why.

TTYL

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