Page 54 of Fight or Flight

No more, she thought, as she stood under the warm water. Today was the first day of the rest of her new life.

She used the tangerine body wash she’d purchased online. The smell really did rejuvenate her, just as they’d advertised. Katherine would write a good review for the small shop in Blowing Rock that she’d ordered the body wash from. Taking her hair out of its braid, she washed it with an herbal shampoo she’d ordered from Amazon. It was nice, but nothing she would take the time to review.

When she finished her shower, she dressed in a pair of Levi’s and a black long-sleeved T-shirt. Her Nikes were back in her closet, thanks to either Doc or Tyler. Their kindness really did overwhelm her. She took the sneakers, grabbed a pair of socks, and slid her feet inside. It felt good to actually wear shoes.

When she reached the bottom of the staircase, she waited for a moment, watching Tyler in her kitchen. He looked like he belonged there. His movements were effortless, as if he knew her kitchen inside and out. She felt like today was her first Christmas, and the break-in, and all that went with it, didn’t matter right now. She was beginning to feel like her old self. No rapid heartbeat. No tightening in her throat or dry mouth. Her hands weren’t shaking. She didn’t feel as though she’d die if she stepped outside. Was she really agoraphobic? Or had she used that as an excuse in order to keep herself safe? Either way, she really did need Tyler’s help.

“Hi there,” Katherine said as she walked through the dining room. “Are you making more coffee, I hope?”

“No, I was putting the dinner dishes in your dishwasher,” Tyler said.

Reality set in for Katherine. “I’m so sorry, Tyler.”

He wiped his hands on a paper towel, then took her hands in his. “Katherine, please don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m here because I want to be, okay?”

She couldn’t grasp why anyone would want to hang out with the “crazy lady on the mountain.” Apparently, Tyler was a bit crazy. Didn’t they say psychiatrists were a bit loony themselves?

“Katherine?” Tyler said.

“Sorry, my mind was wandering.”

“Let’s have that coffee, and then we’ll talk.” Tyler handed her a fresh mug of coffee, then waited for his to finish brewing.

Katherine sat down on a barstool at the kitchen island. Tyler sat across from her. He was the first to speak. “Are you one-hundred-percent sure you’re ready for treatment?”

“I said I was,” Katherine stated. “I won’t go back on my word.” She hoped like hell she wouldn’t. Now she had someone to fight for, other than herself. Though she wouldn’t admit that to him. Not yet, as her feelings for him were new, fresh. She had enough sense not to reveal them yet, if at all.

“Good. Then if you’re sure, I want to start today,” Tyler said.

Maybe she’d spoken too soon. With the break-in and her missing notebook and flash drive, she’d assumed they wouldn’t start therapy until the investigation was completed. But she’d given her word, and right now that was all she had.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Katherine waited for the familiar sensations to paralyze her, to send her into a deep vortex of fear. There was nothing. No dry throat. No rapid heart rate. No sweaty palms. No choking sensation. “Tyler, I have to tell you this. When I talk or even think about my panic attacks, I usually have one, almost on demand. It’s not happening now. Is there a medical explanation for that?”

He smiled at her. “There are many factors, K, and I’ll take you through them one at a time as needed, with your permission.”

“Sure. I need to do this. I’m ready now,” she said, leaning across the island and getting as close to him as the space allowed.

“All right, then there is one test we can do now, if you’re willing.”

“Tell me what it is,” she said, fearful but ready.

“I want you to go outside with me.”

Katherine had known this was coming, and she waited for the dread to consume her, but the familiar panic didn’t come. She waited a full minute before giving her answer. “Let’s give it a go.” She downed the rest of her warm coffee and stood up.

Tyler walked over to her side. “Now, if at any time you feel any sensation that makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. It doesn’t matter what it is, even if you think it’s insignificant, I want to know. That’s part of your therapy,” Tyler said, then took her hand.

“Do you always hold your patient’s hand?” She smiled.

“No.” He grinned back at her.

They stood in front of the French doors. Sophie and Sam stood beside them. Katherine noticed the makeshift repairs to the two windowpanes. “You did this?” she asked before they opened the doors.

“Yes. Are you trying to stall, Katherine?”

“No, I’m not.” She dropped his hand like a hot potato, went to the door, and swung it open. Before she could stop herself, she stepped outside onto the deck. Then, to her utter shock and amazement, she walked down the steps circling around to the front of her house.

Standing there, the sight of her home from the outside was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She waited for the panic to come, but all she felt now was excitement.

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