Page 56 of Return to Me Always

The terror I felt had been so real. Like it had really happened. But how was that possible? And what did it mean?

I had always thought they were premonitions of some kind. For as long as I could remember, my dreams of Tyler had been beautiful, leaving me with a peaceful and awestruck feeling. But ever since I'd arrived in London, they had taken a more sinister turn with a feeling of dread hanging over them. This latest one had been downright terrifying.

It would really help to discuss this all with Tyler, but he would think I was crazy. How on earth could I ever possibly explain it in a way that made sense and in a way that didn't make me sound insane?

I sighed, frustrated with the impossibility of it.

Ben caught up to me. "What's up, Kit Kat? You seem like you have a lot on your mind. Are the hills not alive today?"

I couldn't help but laugh, especially because I knew that favorite movie chat would come back to haunt me. "I'm fine. Just thinking about last night."

Shaking his head, he let out a whistle. "That was crazy. Not every day you get buzzed by a helicopter."

"Exactly." That was only half of it, but I certainly wasn't going to tell him about the nightmare.

"I imagine it brought up some rough memories for the big guy." He nodded toward Tyler who was stoically leading the way as usual.

"Because of his parents?"

"Right. So he told you. Good." Ben bobbed his head up and down as he looked off into the distance. "But I'm guessing he didn't tell you the whole story."

I stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"He usually leaves out the last part," Ben said in a low voice.

Dread washed over me. How could the story get any worse? "What, Ben? Please tell me," I pleaded over the sudden pounding of my heart.

Ben hesitated like he was deciding whether to continue or not. Finally, he let out a sigh and met my eyes. "Tyler saw the crash. He was right there when it happened."

Oh, no, no, no.

My knees almost gave out, and Ben grabbed my elbow. "Easy, lass."

Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't imagine myself at thirteen—at any age—seeing my parents die in a fiery crash right in front of my eyes.

My God, how could he bear it?

I felt like wrapping my arms around him and... oh, I didn't know. I just knew I wanted to comfort him and hug and kiss away his pain, take his pain upon myself somehow if I could.

It explained so much, seeing him hiking ahead of us—determined, utterly focused—his strength almost acting as a shield, his rough exterior protecting him, why he sought nature and solitude, why he found peace in the wild and pushed himself so hard physically.

Having your parents die was awful enough. But actually seeing it? The urge to run up to him and hold him hit me hard. Obviously, I couldn't do that. He would think I was crazy. Crazier than usual.

"All right?" Ben asked, letting up on my arm a bit.

"It's just so sad." I wiped away a tear that had escaped. "Does he talk about it much with you?"

"Just the once. I didn't know until I mentioned we could have a helicopter drop us off on a particular mountain, and he said he'd never step foot in one. Well, I pushed him because I thought it was strange. I mean, this is someone who'll try practically anything, you know?"

I nodded slowly. "Right."

"And then, he finally told me what happened. Of course, he hasn't mentioned it since. And I never bring it up either."

Not surprising that Tyler didn't want to talk about it.

Ben and I fell into a comfortable silence as my mind whirled with this newest revelation, this grief and sadness I felt for Tyler.

When we stopped for a snack a short time later, I watched Tyler even more than usual. I wondered how he was feeling, if he was shaken by last night, but I couldn't tell.

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