Page 67 of Return to Me Always

Another pause. The rain poured down on us, as if the sky itself was crying for Tyler.

"And it was amazing to see them take off. My mum's smile was huge."

This was too much. How could he even bear it?

"It was thrilling and exciting and noisy as they took off. I had fun waiting for them to come back, talking with people that worked there, a few pilots. I was a thirteen-year-old lad, so it was a blast for me. And it didn't seem to take that long before I heard them coming back. I heard the noise of the propellers first. And then, I saw them."

My heart was pounding, waiting for him to finish, waiting to hear the horrendous ending to his story.

"The helicopter appeared over the horizon, coming toward us fast. Almost too fast. I couldn't see their faces. But I was so pumped to hear all about it."

I envisioned this eager young kid waiting, his face full of happiness.

"And that's when it happened. Some kind of loud noise that just wasn't right."

Oh, God.

"People from all around came running over to watch, to see what the noise was."

My heart couldn't take this.

"And then, the propellers stopped. And the helicopter just fell. Straight down from the sky. Right into the ground."

Tears sprang forward in my eyes.

"It exploded. Into one huge fireball." His voice cracked again.

That was it. I stopped walking and closed the distance between us, hugging him and holding him to me, wishing I could take his pain away, wishing I could hug that thirteen-year-old boy who had witnessed something he should never have seen. My whole body ached for him. Now and then.

"I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."

He didn't say anything. Just held me as tight as I held him, almost to the point I couldn't breathe. I could feel his heart beating in sync with mine as silent tears fell down my cheeks.

Too soon, he let go. So I did the same. He pulled back to look at me, wiping a tear from my face.

"So you see? Can you see now?" he said. "That's why I don't believe in any of that—fate, destiny, not even love. It just comes crashing down around you."

He moved away and started walking again. I couldn't even respond. He was right. In his own way, he was right. Someone always died. Tragedy always happened. His wound went too deep to ever heal.

We both stayed quiet as we continued on, the rain still drenching us, the sun losing its battle with the dark clouds.

Hopelessness suffocated me about everything, about our situation, about Tyler, even about love, which I had always believed in. Depression overwhelmed me, and I felt like it was time to just give up, forget everything.

Who even cared what happened? What was I even fighting for anymore?

In silence, we walked on. Dawn arrived. But the world was covered in gray, a gray that matched my mood, my future. The ocean still churned against the rocks, against the rain.

How much more could it possibly rain? How much more could the clouds send down on us? I didn't even feel like a human anymore. I felt like some kind of animal, some kind of beast from another world, a beast with a broken heart.

Damn, it hurt. It hurt so much.

And still, we walked, side by side but miles apart, still in silence. There was nothing left to say, nothing left to feel.

Chapter Nineteen

After a long while of walking together in loneliness, I noticed a huge cliff rising up in the distance, facing the sea, almost in defiance. The ocean pummeled its rocky face in an ancient battle. At the bottom of the cliff lay boulders and rocks that had been lost in the centuries-long fight.

I struggled to see something atop the cliff, something large, almost blending in with the gray of the sky. As we moved closer, I stared at the bulky shape. Something about it made my heart beat faster, something I couldn't name.

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