Page 87 of Return to Me Always

In the dim light from the streetlamps, I could see Ben's cheeks grow red. "Anytime, lass. Anytime."

My mom rolled her suitcase toward the hotel entrance, and I turned to Tyler, barely able to meet his eyes. But in the darkness, I couldn't make out his expression. The trembling took over my whole body now while I fought back the tears. God, this was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

His arms came around me then. "Good night. Take care of yourself, yeah?"

Damn, that sounded like a goodbye, didn't it? I closed my eyes, trying to memorize the feel of him, his strong arms surrounding me, and I held in a sob.

When he let go of me, he looked at me again, eyes narrowed. "You all right?"

If I spoke, the sobs would escape, so I just nodded quickly and began to walk away, toward my mom who held out a hand for me. She gave a quick wave and thanked Ben and Tyler. But I couldn't turn around.

My heart shattered again as I realized that was goodbye, the last time I would see him, the last time I would touch him.

The last time my heart would be whole.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

In the morning, my mom woke me with a gentle touch on my back.

"Sorry to wake you up, hon. But I have to leave for the airport now."

Glancing around, I looked for the clock. Why were my eyes so blurry? In a flash, I remembered all the silent crying into my pillow during the night. Squinting, I could see it was ten o'clock.

"You okay, love?" my mom asked, frowning.

I sat up, trying to shake off my daze. "I'm fine." Crap, I felt so confused. Had she just given up on my coming with her? Without another discussion?

"So," she continued, "I've decided you were right. You have my blessing to stay, okay?"

I nodded, not sure what to say. Yesterday, I would have been thrilled to win this argument. But today, depression overtook all else. Absolute, utter depression. I could never admit that to her, though, or she'd change her mind.

She stared at me, assessing me.

Shit, I needed to perk up. "Sorry, Mom. I'm just kind of sleepy. But that's great. Absolutely great. Thank you. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that."

She nodded, apparently satisfied with my little speech, gave me a quick hug, and stood upright. "Well, your argument made sense. I just needed a little time to think about it." She wheeled her suitcase to the door and turned to look at me. "But Kat?"

"Yeah?" I held my breath, wondering what she had to say.

"I need you to text me every morning and every night. Like you said. Okay?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Of course. Love ya, Mom."

"Love you too, hon."

And with that, she left, leaving me all alone.

At least now I didn't have to hide my tears, and the sobs overtook me in an instant, sobs like my heart had been ripped from my body, sobs like I had lost the love of my life.

***

Depression, sleep, and tears mingled together for the next several hours as I lay in bed and let my feelings overwhelm me. But eventually, my growling stomach needed some kind of food. So I decided to get my mopey ass out of bed and into the shower.

Outside, the cold, drizzly weather matched my mood, making me realize that London had lost its magic. Maybe it was time to move on somewhere else. Yeah, I needed to have my wounds checked and the stitches removed, but couldn't that be done anywhere?

Feeling dead inside, I went through the motions of eating a muffin at some coffee shop, only managing a few bites before I felt sick. Then without paying attention, I wandered the streets for hours in a daze, my hood pulled tight against the rain, sitting on a lonely bench or ducking into a store whenever I needed a rest.

Could people see that there was a girl walking past them with a broken heart? Did anyone notice or even care?

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