Page 88 of Return to Me Always

After hours in a bookstore, I decided it was pointless to keep meandering, so I made my way back to the hotel. I glanced around, trying to get my bearings, and my heart stuttered.

Right in front of me was the pub.The pub. And as I slowly walked past it, flashes of that night crashed over me.

It was too much. Too damn much.

My steps hurried, I found myself at the alley entrance that I assumed led to the back of the pub. I paused for a moment, thinking about the poor man that had been killed there because of us. Because of me really.

Guilt filled my veins, and I felt terrible for drowning in self-pity when a person had lost their life. What could I do? Was there anything?

As dusk started to fall, I continued on, unsure of what to do. But on the corner, I noticed a florist shop and had the idea to at least leave some flowers at the site as a memorial.

Moments later, I returned to that same dark alley holding a bouquet while hesitating right at the entrance. A sudden fear sent chills down my spine. It was kind of creepy in there, and I felt like that idiot in a horror movie where everyone's yelling, "Don't do it!"

But I did it anyway. The sense of guilt overwhelmed every other emotion, even fear. Taking a few steps forward, I looked around. It wasn't so bad, at least not as gross as some alleys I'd seen in the US.

This one looked cleaner maybe and not as cluttered. But the darkness... that's what creeped me out.

I kept walking, looking for the pub, and soon spotted it, a large garbage bin right outside the back door. Now that I was here, I had no clue where to put the flowers. Searching with my cell phone flashlight, I didn't see any obvious place, no awful blood splatters on the wall or anything. I shuddered.

Suddenly, a loud noise made me jump.

Clutching my heart, I turned around to see an employee coming out of the pub's back door, carrying a bag of trash. I let out a breath along with a few muttered curse words as the adrenaline coursed through my body.

The young girl stared at me, her jaw dropping.

"Whoa! You look just like Kat, you know, from Katler. Holy shit! YouareKat. Aren't you?"

Was she kidding me? What were the freaking odds of someone recognizing me behind the pub? I literally felt like a deer in headlights. As I wondered what to say, she kept gaping at me, her eyes glancing from me to the flowers.

"What are the flowers for?" she asked before gasping with realization. "No way! You're leaving them for the man who died here, aren't you?"

Still speechless, I nodded.

"That is just the sweetest thing. People have been saying you two are amazing. And now..." She shook her head. "I've seen it for myself."

At that, I had to speak up. "Well, no. We're not amazing at all. We just got caught up in a crazy situation. That's all."

She flashed me a knowing smile. "Of course, that's what you'd say."

Wow, this was really weird. I decided it was pointless to argue about hownotamazing we were, so I attempted to change the subject. "Well, maybe you could help me out."

The girl bobbed her head up and down, an eager look on her bright face. "Sure. What do you need?"

"Just somewhere to put these is all." I looked around. "Do you know where?"

She pointed to the wall directly across from the pub. "Right there. That's where they found him."

I resisted shuddering and walked forward to the wall. Saying a quiet prayer, I leaned down to place the flowers along the old bricks. There was a flash behind me, and I turned to see the girl pointing her phone at me.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" I asked, confused.

She looked down, not meeting my eyes. "Yeah. I'm sorry. It was just a nice moment."

Stunned, I stared at her, completely tongue-tied. Was this what real celebrities dealt with? Always having to watch their backs? At least, I knew our fame would fade, but for a minute, I felt a real empathy with them.

Before I could think of a response, she scampered back to the door. "Well, nice to meet you, Kat. Feel free to come in any time you'd like."

And just like that, she disappeared back inside. So freaking strange. I shook my head and looked one more time at the flowers before saying a final goodbye and hightailing it out of the alley.

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