Page 104 of The Pinkie Pact

My heart pounded in my chest at the sight of him. What was he doing here? I couldn't handle it. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up in a ball on my bed.

He pushed off from the wall and headed toward me, an unsure look on his face. "Sorry. I know I'm stalking you now. But I just want to talk.Please."

I stared up into those green eyes, seeing a sadness there that seemed to go all the way to his soul.

Damn it. I was fucking weak, and I was so damn tired. "Fine," I said. "Let's go back to my place. Kara's in class for a few more hours."

Nodding, he gave me a quiet and simple, "Thank you."

We walked the several blocks in silence, not touching, not talking, making me ache just thinking about what we'd had. Like a magnet, my body wanted to reach out and hold his hand. But I didn't. And soon, we were at my dorm, opening the door to the quiet, still room as my emotions fought each other—anger, confusion, and overwhelming sadness.

I sat on the couch, and he pulled up Kara's desk chair to sit across from me, which I remembered was the exact same way he'd apologized to me after the stupid cookie incident. Sighing, he put his hand on the back of his neck, and I couldn't help noticing that tension in him again, something that had disappeared lately. Well, until now.

"God, I don't even know where to begin," he said as I sat there in silence. "I'm guessing you didn't read any of my texts or listen to any of my messages?"

"Nope."

He glanced down at the floor. "Right. I suspected as much." And then his eyes returned to mine, so full of sadness, it was difficult to look at him honestly. "So I know it doesn't mean much and it's a little too late, but I want you to know I'm deeply sorry for how I reacted. I amsoincredibly sorry."

I took a deep breath, surprised by the impact those words had on me, but I stayed quiet.

"It was the biggest mistake of my life not to believe you right then, and I'll always regret that."

To hear him say that, just... I didn't know. But it touched me.

"I was so confused when I walked in there and saw that. I mean, it was my dad.My dad." He shook his head like he still couldn't believe it. "The guy's been my hero all my life."

Why did that make me feel so terrible?

"So it took me longer than it should to... to, I don't know, figure it out I guess. If it had been anyone else, I mean,anyone—my cousin, my best friend from kindergarten, my roommate—I wouldn't have hesitated. But the fact that it was my dad, it just..."

He shook his head again, his face pale, and I felt sick, like I might heave any minute.

"I mean, imagine it in reverse," he said. "Likereallyimagine it."

Oh, God, where was he going with this?

"Like imagine you walking in on your mom and me in that same position, and your mom accused me. Really imagine it. What would you think?"

That was easy. "My mom wouldneverdo that."

"Right, right, exactly! That'sexactlyhow I felt."

"But then that means youdidn'tthink that about me. Your first instinct was that Iwascapable of that."

"No. No way did I think that. I thought that ofbothof you, that neither of you would ever do that. That's why I was so fucking confused."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He made a good point, if I thought rationally about it. "So now, you've come to the conclusion that your dad lied?" I asked.

He hung his head low, sending a twinge of pity throughout my stomach. "Yes," he whispered. "I have."

My hands itched to comfort him, but I refused to let them. He raised his gaze again, his haunted eyes capturing mine.

"After you left," he continued, "I confronted my dad, and he completely denied it, even called you a certain name."

"He did?" I could only imagine what he'd said, but I didn't ask.

"The asshole," Kieran growled. "Not only did he lie, but he... he... honestly, I don't know exactly what he did to you. But whatever it was, I know it wasn't consensual." He let out an epic sigh.

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