Page 105 of The Pinkie Pact

God, now I was the one who was confused beyond belief.

"If you want to tell me what he did, feel free," Kieran said. "But if you don't want to tell me, I understand that too."

"Not now," I said, shuddering. "Maybe someday."

Had I really said someday? That implied I'd see Kieran again in the future, and I saw a little light of hope in his eyes.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he asked.

I rested my forehead in my hand, not able to look at him, not able to see the expression on his face while giving him my answer. "I can forgive. But I can't forget."

Hearing his deep exhale, I glanced up again. "What does that mean?" he asked, his voice so quiet I barely heard him.

"It means..." Oh, God, I didn't even know. But I did know I couldn't just go back to being the way we were.

"What does it mean?" he whispered, eyes full of anguish.

Now I felt terrible because I couldn't just wipe it all away. I didn't think he quite understood how much he'd hurt me in that time it took for him to decide whether or not to believe me. Sure, I understood his reasoning. I understood it was his dad. But it still didn't take awaymypain andagony in that moment and now.

"Kieran, I don't think you get it exactly."

"Get what?" he asked.

I fought the tears, fought the swell of emotions. I needed to get this out. Looking into his intense face, I finally managed to say, "You broke my heart."

Instantly, his eyes filled with unshed tears as he stared at me. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I amsosorry."

Those words sent the tears cascading down my face, and I did the same thing as last night, pulling my knees up and burying my face in them. Sobbing my heart out, I didn't hear Kieran move. But I suddenly felt the lightest of touches on my back, and I knew it was Kieran trying to comfort me. For some reason, that made me cry even harder.

As much as I wanted to lean into him and have his arms wrapped around me, I resisted. Something in me couldn't do it. I couldn't forget it all so easily. Trust had been broken.

"I'm so sorry," Kieran murmured next to me as he kept rubbing my back with the slightest pressure, like he was unsure how I would respond.

But I let him comfort me, and I greedily took the comfort from him as I swallowed against the pain. Eventually, I ran out of tears, but I kept my head down, not sure what to do, what to feel, and Kieran moved away. I heard him sit back down in the chair across from me.

Even though I was beyond confused, it hit me full force how awful this situation was for Kieran as well. I knew that all along, of course, but I hadn't fully acknowledged it to myself, too caught up in my own emotions, and I suddenly felt terrible that he had essentially lost his dad.

Looking up at him, I took in his grief-stricken face, his sympathetic expression. "I... I want you to know I'm really sorry for what you're going through too."

He gave me a soft smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Thank you."

"I mean it, Kieran. I hate that your dad did this to you. To us. I can't even imagine how you must feel."

"It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. By far," he admitted. "And I have no idea what to do."

Shit. Now I felt even worse, totally unsure of all my tangled feelings and thoughts, which were one big, fucked-up mess.

"But one thing I do know," he said, "I'mnotgiving up on us. I'm going to fight for us. For however long it takes."

He sounded so damn determined, but I wasn't so sure about our future.

Comfort Food

Sky

Kara came home a short time later along with Gen. Noticing my tear-stained face, she glared at her brother, assuming the worst from him. To be honest, though, I wasn't mad at him anymore. I was just broken... and really fucking sad.

After hearing his side, I truly did forgive him. But I couldn't put my heart back together in an instant, and I had no clue what was going to happen.

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