Page 29 of The Pinkie Pact

Now I laughed. "No. Really. I kind of suck. They always made me go first at recitals. Get the bad ones out of the way and save the best for last, right?" I joked.

"Not necessarily. But hey, it doesn't really matter unless it's your career or something. For the rest of us, it's just for fun, right?"

I shrugged. "I suppose," I said, even though I wasn't so sure I agreed.

For a minute, she was quiet, then suddenly asked, "Are you always so hard on yourself?"

Oof, what was that about? "What do you mean?"

"Like do you ever let go and do something you're not good at just for fun?"

Sky was one bold person. No one had ever asked me a question like that before, and it made me think for a long moment.

"I take it that's a no," she interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey, I know how to have fun."

"That's not really what I meant, though."

"What did you mean then?"

"Just... it seems like you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be perfect at everything."

Did I? I didn't necessarily think so. I just didn't want to disappoint people. There was so much at stake right now. My parents were already worried enough about Kara. They didn't need to worry about me too. And I desperately wanted my mom to win this re-election.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I probably shouldn't have said that."

I hesitated, still not sure what to say, not sure I could confide in this girl. I shouldn't really be confiding in her, right? Sure, I could have a "girl friend." But if I was honest with myself, something inside me wanted more with Sky, and I knew talking to her like this was a slippery slope that I didn't know if I could return from. I was filled with shame that I was even having these thoughts about someone else.

"You just kind of seem stressed most of the time I see you," she continued. "Like even now, I can feel it."

What could I say to that? Of course, I was stressed out. I was beyond stressed out at the feelings she was causing inside me. I didn't want these feelings. Ihatedthat I had these feelings all the sudden.

My life had a path—a perfect path—and this girl next to me might as well have had a neon sign on her forehead that flashed the worddangerous. Because that's what she was.

Christina was safe. She knew my hopes and dreams and supported them. And I supported hers as well. We had everything all planned out. I couldn't let thoughts about someone else derail that. Even if she made my heart stop every time I saw her.

I sighed, the silence stretching out between us, and I wondered what I could say. But she saved me.

"I'm sorry. As you can see, sometimes I forget to filter myself. Like maybe I should have just asked you about your classes. So... how are your classes?" she asked in a goofy voice that made me laugh, the tension from a minute ago melting away.

For the rest of the walk, we talked about safer subjects and the more interesting subject of why she had transferred to GW for her junior year. She explained that she'd really messed up her first two years at Syracuse and needed a clean break.

Despite the feeling that there was a lot she wasn't telling me, I didn't pry because I could sort of make a good guess. It was most likely drinking, drugs, guys, or maybe even girls... or maybe a combination of all of the above.

But I understood. From what she told me, it sounded like she'd been rather sheltered growing up and then gone wild in college. And now, she was trying to find a balance between the two.

Something about it all was very admirable that she was working so hard at it. And I realized my very first idea that she was going to be a bad influence on my sister was way off. She was actually the complete opposite, and I hoped Kara appreciated having someone like Sky as a roommate.

Too soon, we arrived at her dorm. Feeling a little strange and not wanting to say goodbye just yet, I paused with her outside the door. She watched me and pursed her lips together, drawing my attention to them.

Look away, you jerk. Don't even think it.

"So I hope you're not parked too far away," she said, distracting me. "You know, kind of defeats the purpose of me walking you back."

I cracked up laughing at that. This girl definitely had a sense of humor. "Just a few blocks. I think I'll be fine."

"I hope so. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

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